Why are some pole dancers pro-life?
Throughout every chapter of my life, dancing helped me forget my troubles. When my Chinese mother slandered me for doing sex work, I moved my body to music. When I was 18 and told my Vietnamese father I was pressing charges against my rapist, he yelled at me for getting raped. Subsequently, I enrolled in my first pole dancing class as a step towards my healing. Anyone who knows me would describe me as an outspoken dancer.
The internet largely informed mini-me on serious topics, such as systemic violence and domestic violence. Whenever I felt excluded in my youth dance lessons, I found solace in online spaces. Unfortunately, social media became more unwelcoming as I aged.
I follow dance studios and dance instructors on my personal instagram. It has come to my attention, that a handful of my mutuals follow a Filipino pro-life activist. This news surprised and upset me. I uploaded a selfie with the caption: I don’t wanna give a certain account more publicity but I just wanna know…why do some of y’all dance studios and dance teachers follow pro-life accounts?
I’m a former stripper. Pole dancers, who have never worked in a strip club, tend to have awful takes. Ideally, all pole dancing instructors and studio owners would have stripping experience. But the world isn’t ideal, that’s why my inbox was bombarded with paragraphs from a pole hobbyist.
Pro-life rhetoric can kiss my ass. I informed the pole hobbyist “For many people, getting an abortion is the right choice. A lot of pro-life people will neg those who have had an abortion before.” There are pro-lifers who have had abortions. To them, theirs didn’t count; they ‘weren’t themselves’ when they aborted their fetus.
The influencer I discovered had over 100K followers and spoke openly about regretting her abortion. I’m not trying to silence any person who regrets a difficult decision they’ve made, but influential figures need to be held accountable.
If you’re an Asian reader and feel uncomfortable with me unapologetically reminding you to observe your peoples, reflect on why you’re uncomfortable. If you think Southeast Asian women are above criticism, ask yourself why. If you’re an Asian person who has complimented pole dancers for being ‘athletes’ but are disgusted by sex workers, check yourself.
I’m not letting insidious people off the hook purely because they have something in common with me. Guilting those who need an abortion, into canceling their appointment, because ‘their body will never be the same’ is dumb. It is true that people’s bodies never 100% revert to their pre-pregnancy state, regardless of if they carry to full term or terminate their pregnancy.
There is no wrong way to have a body. I’m disappointed I have to remind this to Asian women, like the pole hobbyist, in 2022. No fat person should have to defend themselves by saying their fatness came from pregnancy. A parent should not have to look like former selves in order to be deemed beautiful. Which is worse: physical changes or inter-generational poverty?
If somebody can choose between getting an abortion when they’re not ready for parenthood, or giving birth and becoming shackled by poverty…they should choose abortion. Side effects like hemorrhages apply to both abortion and childbirth. Pro-life people purposefully omit post-partum side effects because abortion is supposedly the worst.
I followed up my statement with “Many pro-life people promote abstinence only sex education. Not to mention, a myriad of pro-life activists try to proselytize pro-choice people. Yeah some people are overtly mean but negging is straight up manipulation”. I assume the Vietnamese woman I was messaging with identifies as a moderate, because most pole hobbyists puppet respectability. Pole hobbyists frequently degrade strippers in a sick attempt to gain *respect* from mainstream society. There are millions of essays on why moderates are dangerous [1]. My favorite essay on this subject matter was written 60 years ago. I’m getting my bachelor’s degree in Political Science and, sadly, none of my professors have lectured on Asian moderates…not even my Asian professors. What a missed opportunity.
The *respectable* woman responded with ‘So to follow a pro-life account means that they’re (the dance studio/dancer) attempting to convert another person to a different religion?’ Notice how she didn’t even imply that proselytism is wrong. Notice how she didn’t acknowledge that negging and promoting abstinence only sex education is inherently manipulative.
Pro-choice religious people exist. Pro-life secular people exist. The influencer who shall not be named is Christian. I never said anywhere that being religious is intrinsically bad. But if an influential person preaches ‘Christians should talk to pro-choice people so they can be converted!’ then we have a problem. I said supporting pro-life accounts is bad. Convincing several acquaintances to unfollow one pro-life account was not my prerogative. Pro-life activists are everywhere. Even if that influencer’s account disappeared today, another would take its place in no time. I’m addressing why pole dancers supporting pro-lifers is problematic.
I never accused any dance businesses/individuals of proselytism. I made general statements to be mindful of the nuances within the pro-life community. I said “I evade making absolute statements but you’re making an absolute statement. Have you ever had anyone target you in their moral crusade before? Most likely yes.” I am a radical. I shouldn’t have tried to be respectable. From the beginning, she had no intention of listening to me.
“It’s unnerving how confident people become with their propaganda once they surpass a certain follower count. Since dance studios/teachers is the original focus, I’m unnerved by anyone who consciously and proudly follows pro-life accounts because they’re propaganda machines.” This lady attends movement classes every week in a locale where sex workers should feel safe. The art form she reveres was popularized by strippers.
There is a word for people who want to participate in a culture, but hate the creators of said culture. Pole dancing was invented by Black strippers. Pole dancing is meant for those who would rather be called a gold digger, instead of slave away at two full-time jobs that society deems respectable. I threw her a bone anyway.
I requested she call me out if I’m “following social media accounts that spread any kind of propaganda (transphobic lies, fatphobic rhetoric, hypercapitalist grifts, etc)”. Of course, this person denies making absolute statements and was only ‘trying to follow my logic’. She even put the word “bad” in quotations every time she said “bad”. She’s not fooling anyone but herself.
I did not endure sexual harassment from strip club managers, for pole hobbyists to accuse me of being close-minded. I did not survive physical violence, during a pandemic, so financially stable women could cosplay as sex workers. I haven’t been rejected from teaching positions at pole studios, I’ve patronized for years, because I infringe on others’ freedom of speech. I do not resist whorephobia so civilians can feel threatened by my innocuous questions.
Even if I did mention names on my personal instagram…I have no power. I’m not famous. I don’t own a dance business. I’ve never taught dance lessons. There is no guarantee that anyone would unfollow the public figure if I put their username on blast. If anything, they’re more likely to gain followers with free publicity.
I continue with “I gave more reasons than proselytism but there’s a plethora of reasons why I’m pro-choice”. Up until this point, I never brought up extreme cases such as contraception failing, child abuse, and rape–the latter two I’ve dealt with firsthand. Somehow I still had patience with this adult who promptly claimed she ‘wasn’t attacking me’. So I asked “When should we call each other out?”
She believes no one should ever be called out for anything. She is far from the first Southeast Asian to tell me that. The script they follow always goes something along the lines of ‘sit down and talk with me because the world has grey areas!’ The ironic part is: I was filling her in. I told her facts. She got offended by my valid critiques. That’s why she is insufferable.
Making false equivalences only convolutes everything. She doesn’t even follow her own logic–claiming both conservatives and liberals share propaganda [2] only to then contradict herself. She claimed ‘facebook and instagram censor conservative opinions more’ which she is supposedly against because she champions for freedom of speech. Factoids corrupt the brain. Tragic.
Algorithm-based apps are an echo chamber. If she’s only recommended left-leaning content on her phone, that’s because she interacts with left-wing content the most. Censorship is when something is prohibited in a space where that ‘thing’ should be allowed. Something being allowed online but isn’t automatically recommended to you when you log-in is not censorship.
Not for a second did I bring up the pole industry. She was doubling down without being asked to. ‘Like just because someone is a pole dancer doesn’t mean they have to support pro-choice…by the way #notallprolifers are religious. Some just don’t want tax money to pay for someone else’s irresponsible decisions!’ Congratulations to her. I thought I was a good actor, but I couldn’t be that vapid if I tried.
Only one follower of mine asked if they were following the pro-life activist. I’m proud to call this gal my friend. My friend coordinated a fundraiser last August for Brigid Alliance–so residents in conservative US states can access safe abortions. I told my gal pal “I don’t even remember the username of the anti-choice influencer but my inbox is…well…”
Flabbergasted at the screenshots, my bestie said ‘Love how she thinks abortion is irresponsible but being supportive of anti-choice is respectful and tolerant’. We both have done in-person sex work but I reiterated, “As if sex workers didn’t champion every other movement that gave us the rights we have today–and legal protections we don’t have yet.”
As I was typing this, one of my local pole studios announced an upcoming fundraiser. They’re teaching specialized workshops to raise money for reproductive justice. Hopefully pole dancers, who wish they were as cool as strippers, open their wallets. I wish I could attend but I’m going to be in another state with my boyfriend. His cousin is in her third trimester with her first child. My boyfriend worries that the baby’s father isn’t taking care of her.
My name is Felicity Azura. I’m driven as hell and trilingual as fuck. I hope your day is filled with people who love you. If you’re a sex worker, I applaud you. If you’re a pole hobbyist, humble yourself.
[2] While the top two political parties in the United States both spew propaganda, one party vice signals while the other party virtue signals. Republicans are vitriolic towards “undesirable” people on purpose. They’re vice signaling so their voters join in on the bullying. Democrats are deceitful because they pretend to be ethical. Their façade is for beguiling “undesirable” people into voting for them.
Listen to me read this article here.
All photos in this article were taken by Knocking Bird Creative in 2022