Quiet. Be still.
Silence had a lot of density so close to her ear, it almost felt itching her thin skin. The bed floated alone in the dark with her in it, and echoes coming far from outside fell like drops in the ocean, so small that she could not hear or feel anything. She was so immersed in her own, dreams ceased to exist. Blackness was all that she saw now. In the middle of all these was nothing. Thoughts shattered once again, because it was not the first time this happened, and her mind melt down, disappearing, fractions of it crawling away one by one. Made her think of smiling and she felt light. The arms. Oh…The arms had no weight at all. Nothingness. Blackness. Freedom. “Finally” she said, but sound did not came out of her mouth.
Her breath was coming back, and the breast pounding in a rhythm so strong all of the sudden, than realizing inside of her she was waking up. Panic started. Her eye lids moved a bit up getting forces to be open again, making the light hurt her vision, burn the blue eyes that were the same as a quiet bottom of the deepest sea seconds ago. But now…
Now life began all over again, because she was alive. Alive! She was breathing. Air was coming in and out of her. With all these things the dirt came rushing from the bottom up, almost standing in front of her watery eyes. Desperation trembled her chest. That pressure coming from her stomach got off of her mouth. The dirt fell on the bedroom floor, hurting her throat. Acid tasting sour in the surface of her tongue and the sweet of the blackness made the tears roll down her cheeks. The contrast of reality and wishful thinking came at once. Ordinary life woke her up again late that morning. Bright sun saying good morning out loud from the half open window, “start a new day!”, with all that pressure she could not stand; her only thought was to close her eyes once again, and wish the nothingness would overcome the life she was leading every single day.