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Part 1 : Understand the reasons behind Quick release or Premature ejaculation?
Male ejaculation has been thoroughly researched. On average, ejaculation occurs in around 3–7 minutes after penetrating the vagina for most guys; (that is of course, if he doesn’t try to delay it). While this amount of time may seem paltry, most mammals ejaculate in mere seconds after entry.
Evolutionary breeding instinct is to blame for premature ejaculation; it’s your desire to produce offspring driving it. This would also explain the need for men to climax before women; which further ensures pregnancy. Your reproductive system is always seeking conditions of maximum effectiveness.
Premature ejaculation is simply the reproductive system doing what it is supposed to do. And further explains why a lot of younger guys are the biggest culprits for it.
Since mankind’s beginning, he has had certain sexual / biological adaptations working for him, ensuring the survival of the species; premature ejaculation is one of them. Since that time however, things have changed.
Basic survival isn’t as hard as it was in the beginning, and sex has become a leisure activity. As such, today’s modern woman demands good sex, and will go to lengths to find it.
Men are expected to do the exact opposite of what they had been doing (sexually) for the previous 30,000 years. This has all been brought on by social and psychological upheavals all across the board, in the last 50–100 years.
When you look at the big picture, you can see very clearly that premature ejaculation is a good thing for our species. The average healthy man can go from limp to ejaculation in at least 5 minutes. If you seeking to lead an active sex life, you will need to learn to control and delay your sexual responses in order to last long enough to prove useful.
The very idea of engaging in sex without specifically seeking orgasm is a completely foreign concept to most men. But with a little practice and technique, they can still become a sexual powerhouse. And as always, practice makes perfect; after refining your methods through repeated use, you will develop further ability. It is now your duty to learn to harness your own sexual responses and take control of your sex life and happiness.
Condition of the nervous system is indicated in the presence of premature ejaculation. So the faster you ejaculate, the better the system. While it is true that you can control this, (which we’ll discuss later) you’ll gain more time as you age, and as your nerves become more callused
“If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it..!.” If you are healthy and have a quick, attentive sexual response, you most likely won’t encounter any future problems; the statistics are in your favor.
So we’ve already established that; men ejaculate hastily as they possess a exceedingly reactive nervous system that was bound to their DNA for means of reproduction. That doesn’t mean that it can’t be controlled or contained though, does it? .
Premature ejaculation has also been linked to negative adolescent masturbation habits, watching porn in adults. It could very well be that when your body becomes acclimated to unwarranted and immediate gratification, it becomes highly sensitized. The only way to quash this turn of events is to ‘reprogram’ your sexual clock; making your times longer.
Try to expand the duration of time you ‘do sex’, whether alone or with others, and following some of the forthcoming tricks. With a little time, your system will adapt and level out.
As recently discovered by researchers, Serotonin levels play a huge role in PE. It is responsible for your ejaculation control sensation (or lack thereof). That is one of the chief reasons why men on anti-depression drugs often have trouble with achieving orgasm and ejaculation.
Serotonin and its role in ejaculation will also be looked at in this guide; in addition to some alternative therapies, which produce results.
Part 2 : Understand the System of Erections and Male ejaculation — How it really works?
If you want to delay male ejaculation, you’ll have to understand erection. Erection can be initiated in two different ways. Receiving stimulation from these 2 different methods in the correct manner will lead to great things; wrong usage usually leads to Premature Ejaculation.
One type of erection is based purely on physical contact and stimulation. It is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system, the physical stimuli produces increased blood flow and arterial dilation, which will result in an erection.
Number two is an erection that occurs as a result of mental stimulation in the cerebral cortex. The cerebral cortex is the biggest part of the brain and accounts for 2/3 of its size.
The cerebral cortex is critical to human life; it is in charge of thinking, perceiving, accepting, distinguishing, and calculating, among other things. And it’s basically the body’s control center, the area responsible for doling out orders so to speak.
For example, if you encounter a situation that warrants combat, your system will trigger its fight or flight response system. It would also take over in the event that you experienced extreme guilt or sadness. In the same way that the cerebral cortex can prepare your body for danger, it can also prepare it for sex. Erotic thoughts will manifest themselves physically from directions given by the cortex.
Note: psychological stimulation isn’t just relegated to erotic thoughts.
If you get erotic sensations from non sexual types of physical stimulation, you are engaging in active psychological stimulation.
To recap; there are two chief methods of erotic stimulation: physical and mental. It would seem that most guys don’t even take the time to separate the two.
In fact, most males will use a combination of both mental and physical to jump start their masturbation.
These practices aren’t just limited to personal gratification though; they are frequently used during sex with a partner.
The one little tiny difference is simply that you are getting your stimulation from another person.
If you are trying to tame your PE, you should take note of your arousal levels (mental and physical).
Guys suffering from PE are known to be getting too much mental stimulation, too fast.
A purely physical erection (with complete lack of mental arousal) is a very rare thing, and very difficult to facilitate. So it’s only natural that most guys would use their mental powers to speed things along. You can produce and maintain very rigid erections without constant and increasing mental stimulation.
There are also a lot of guys that try to use their PC muscles to direct more blood into their genital region in order to maintain their erection. This is helpful in some cases, but the best way to maintain an erection is through non-constant maintenance; you should be able to simply relax without losing any of your ‘staying power’.
Ejaculation consists of 2 phases; the emission phase and the ejaculatory phase.
Emission phase — Mental stimulation is triggered by the sympathetic nervous system. The beginning of this phase is commonly referred to as the ‘point of no return’ (when you know there’s no going back). Then the sperm moves from the testicles through the ejaculatory ducts, mixes with fluids from the prostate to form semen. The semen is then transferred from the prostate to the urethra bulb, where it starts to build up.
Ejaculatory Phase — Once a fair amount of semen has been deposited in the bulb, it is released out into the urethra and shoots out of the penis courtesy of contractions from the perineal muscles. These are also the same muscular contractions responsible for the sensations of orgasm. The ejaculation process is directed from the pudenda nerve (of the lower spine and perineum), so it is a physical process.
Becoming familiar with this knowledge is crucial to better understanding your body. Your body relies on your nervous system for sexual function and motivation; with this knowledge, you’ll probably find it much easier to control your erections.
Part 3 : Understand How ejaculation relates to the nervous system
A highly tuned and sensitive nervous system is designed to fecilitate Premature Ejaculation.
The nervous system is comprised of two primary systems; central and peripheral.
The central nervous system includes of the brain and the spinal cord. The peripheral nervous system (while connected to the brain) is responsible for reaching out to ‘everything else’.
The nervous system serves many purposes, the least of which is interpreting sensory data in real time. This is facilitated by the use of electrical impulses sent to and from different areas of the body.
Your nervous system is akin to a military command post that provides all the tactical data to all other areas of your body.
The peripheral nervous system is comprised of smaller systems; they are known as the somatic and autonomic systems; (the autonomic can then be further broken down into the parasympathetic and sympathetic systems). These last two systems are going to be the source of our focus due to their important roles in the sexual process.
Sympathetic and Parasympathetic
The sympathetic nervous system is involved in what is referred to as the “fight or flight response”, which determines your reactions to potentially harmful stimuli. Stress seems to be the biggest trigger for the sympathetic system. The function of this response is to prepare you for potential conflict or action. The stress can vary in type and amount; in short, sometimes it is good (sex, surprise birthday), sometimes it is bad (combat, fear).
The sympathetic nervous system can produce any of the following effects:
Increased breathing rate / lung function
Increases blood supply / circulation to the skeletal muscles (preparing for action)
Muscles become tense, the PC muscles in particular (during sex)
Limits blood flow in particular areas
Can trigger the emission (during ejaculation)
There is no ‘on or off’ switch for this system. It contains many levels, in which stress is used as a gauge for activating those different levels. When dealing with the bad situations / stimuli, it would max out in the event that a life threatening emergency was detected. In the case of positive stimuli, orgasm and ejaculation would be triggered.
The parasympathetic system works in exactly the opposite manner to the sympathetic system. So in short; sympathetic = ‘fight or flight’, and parasympathetic = ‘rest and digest’.
If I could only pick one word to describe the parasympathetic system it would be ‘relaxation’.
When you aren’t experiencing stress and your minds totally at ease your parasympathetic system should be in full control.
Effects of the parasympathetic nervous system include:
Decreasing rate of pulse
Mind / body relaxation
Aid in digestion
Selective blood vessel dilation
When operating at its highest level the parasympathetic system can maintain a deep state of relaxation, such as focused meditation.
For most of the body’s functions, the two systems work in relation to one another; meaning, they are not both active simultaneously. The only time when they both become active is when sexual activity is being performed.
The parasympathetic system is most active system when the arousal-sexual process begins, and it’s chiefly responsible for allowing erections to occur.
As things begin to heat up, the sympathetic system begins to increase breathing and blood flow; it essentially overtakes the function of the parasympathetic system at this point. Once you have reached the point of orgasm, the sympathetic system is fully engaged.
Here’s how it works…
1. You are relaxed and Parasympathetic system is dominant. Erection is caused by physical stimulation.
2. Signals are sent to the brain telling it that stimulation is happening in the genital area.
3. Once your brain interprets the stimuli as sexual in nature further changes are implemented.
4. The sympathetic system slowly begins to take over; taking the torch from the parasympathetic system. Pulse and respiratory function increases.
5. Eventually things reach a point where the sympathetic system sends the order to prepare for ejaculation.
6. Ejaculation and orgasm occur as a result of directions from the sympathetic nervous system.
The roles played by these 2 systems should be pretty clear by now.
As a general rule, the longer you maintain control of the parasympathetic system, the longer you will last in the bedroom. And of course, the quicker you reach the point of complete sympathetic control, you’ll be very close to ejaculation.
If you want to control your sexual arousal and function, you need only learn how to manage the stimuli associated with the function of these 2 independent systems — parasympathetic and sympathetic.
Part 4: Arousal control techniques — Learn to control your sexual responses
Being able to control your level or arousal is needed if you are trying to learn to control your sexual responses. This is what you should start thinking and working on if you are looking to further enhance your sexual prowess.
In case you aren’t familiar with the term, arousal is synonymous with the term horny. You only need to learn to control your arousal levels in order to open up your sexual world to long nights of passionate love making.
You don’t need to limit your arousal or pleasure in any way; that’s not what the process entails; you need to learn to CONTROL your arousal. Limiting yourself will only turn off your partner and hamper further sexual exploits; and simply avoiding arousal will only make you more powerless to control it.
The best approach is to train your body and mind undergo the arousal process at a much slower rate; not only will this be better for your partner, but you’ll get better results from it as well. Earth shattering orgasms and longer love making times await you. Imagine giving your wife a leg shaking orgasm. Yes it is possible if you can learn to control your sexual arousal and thereby stay hard for long.
Arousal control at its most basic level involves equal parts mental and physical (this even extends into other autonomic processes within your body)
The entire process leading up to ejaculation and eventually, orgasm; is a process that you must learn to suppress. It involves preventing your body from turning on the sympathetic system, (you need to keep yourself relaxed and in a parasympathetic state for it to work properly). Experimenting with these controls will also enable you to fully experience the arc of your arousal over a greater length of time.
Individuals with the ability to truly control their orgasm / arousal will be able to remain in a more relaxed state throughout a series of sexual encounter(s). What they’ve done is trained their body to reach a certain arousal level and stay there. And as you gain more practice and experience, you’ll experience the same situations and gain the same abilities.
Part 5: Understand Male Sexual arousal: the four stages!
Opinions vary greatly when it comes to the topic of sexual arousal. One thing that can be agreed upon though is that arousal can be separated into four unique stages. The more familiar that you are with these stages, the better your understanding of the inner workings of the sexual mind.
Stage 1 — principal stimulation can be mental, physical or a combination of both; once it is triggered, changes start to occur within the body (mostly in the groin, but also in the circulatory and respiratory systems).
Stage 2 — The higher arousal climbs, the more full and rigid the erection becomes. At this point, you should have a hefty erection and still feel relatively calm. Scrotum will loosen up and pulse will quicken slightly. During this stage of arousal, your parasympathetic system plays a more central role than the sympathetic does.
Stage 3 — Arousal levels markedly increase, and a psychological shift takes place. Pleasant sensations will take hold all over the genital and erogenous zones. The penis becomes fuller and more sensitive. The testes will move toward and cling to the body. Pulse and breathing become even more intense. You will start to feel that orgasm is imminent. The sympathetic nervous system gains control from the parasympathetic.
Stage 4 — Energy levels will continue to increase, creating a feeling of intense sexual desire and frustration, which will further coerce your nervous system into getting ready for ejaculation. When orgasm occurs the PC muscles will contract. Afterwards, arousal levels dissipate and erection subsides.
Most men are unaware that their arousal levels can even be controlled. But as they age, they will develop a more mature sexual routine and control. In this case, “you CAN teach an old dog new tricks”.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that there are time constraints when it comes to sexual arousal. It’s really up to you, you can last anywhere from minutes to hours depending on your will to control yourself. If left untrained your body will resort to its old tricks however.
You can even reach stage 3 without the help of any physical stimulation at all; and is one of the primary reasons that premature ejaculation occurs.
For example, if you view an erotic video for 1 hour, without manually stimulating yourself; by the end of the video you will be extremely aroused. Actually, if you were really getting into the action, you may have achieved extreme arousal after only 15 minutes.
If you lack control, you will surely find yourself at the third stage of arousal in a very short amount of time. In effect, if you begin immediate masturbation at arousal level # 3, you will most likely orgasm almost immediately; hence the need for arousal control. This can be a difficult proposition for most people, even at the level of foreplay. Your goal is to maintain a medium range arousal level.
Part 6: How to make sex last longer by controlling arousal
The more aware you are of your sexual limitations, the more you can build on them. The purpose of arousal control is to prevent premature ejaculation. It won’t come to you instantly; you’ll have to work at it a little.
Arousal control is supposed to relegate your body to parasympathetic function for as long as possible, in doing so, you will be unable to move towards ejaculation.
Identifying your current arousal stage is necessary if you are to learn to control yourself. To start things off, identify the elements of stage 2, and then keep yourself in it for as long as possible during sex. Once you’ve went over into stage 3, you’ll find that it’s much harder to return to a normal state. At this point you may need to cease all activities for several minutes in order to let your arousal subside.
The bottom line is, stage 2 is where you need to park yourself if you want to last for any significant length of time. What better way to become familiar with arousal control than to learn about how your body functions. Once you’re able to identify arousal levels, all you need to do is develop the restraint to control your urges.
Find out exactly what causes your arousal level to climb so high and deal with it. Arousal is actually a very mentally-centric activity; keep this in mind while learning to tame your desires.
In order to remain as calm and focused as possible, you should probably practice controlling arousal levels while masturbating, at first. That’s the easiest and best way to get familiar with your body. But you can still practice during sex if you so desire.
How do you control arousal, exactly?
There is no right or wrong answer to this question; it could be different for everyone. The ball is in your court, so to speak. We’re about to explore some possibilities; of these, it will be up to you to decide how to use them effectively.
You might have heard, that it’s best to think about other things, to completely clear you mind, or to focus completely on your partner. The truth is, all of these things are fundamentally great ideas, use them in whatever combination that works best for you. The problem is that these ideas may only function as momentary solutions for you. They are mostly just aversions to sex; you need to actually change your sexual responses.
Ultimately, the choice is yours, but you should be aware of the possibilities that exist before you make up you mind. And remember, were not trying to dull sex or its pleasure, we’re trying to improve upon it. Regardless of what you decide, you must remember to keep your body in parasympathetic mode for as long as possible; this will require deep relaxation and concentration, much deeper than anything you might have previously experienced.
You can control your arousal by simply shifting your focus away from it; in this way, you can maintain control of your parasympathetic system for a longer period of time. .
Expand your mind and become a sensual being, not a purely sexual one.
Part 7: The Sensual Tantric Sex techniques!
You’ve probably heard of Tantric sex, at least in passing. It is so potent and profound that after you’re introduced to it, you won’t want to do without it. Sensuality is all about taking your time and soaking in the feelings, exploring your partner’s body and giving them pleasure; and it isn’t exactly tied to eroticism or orgasm. The key thing to absorb about Tantric sex is it is based on relaxation and awareness of your physical self. This will require you to learn to focus on your physical self in new ways; you’re looking at the whole body, not just the sexual organs.
You would think that widening your focus (physically) would open yourself up to even quicker ejaculations, but this is not the case. Follow the guidelines laid out in this article to quickly develop your Tantric chops.
First, let’s define what ‘focusing’ means for our purposes. Without a proper definition, it’s very easy to get the wrong idea, and confuse sexuality and sensuality
For starters, you should learn to really ‘feel’ what is going on throughout your entire body as stimulation begins and increases; and try to remain calm, if you lose your head you can’t experience Tantric sex. Stop equating sex with orgasm. Your partner can think about or act in whatever way they want to, however it is your job to remain calm and resolute.
An example of sensual focus:
What is your mindset when receiving a massage? You get a nice sensation of calm, and you feel like jelly. Massage really opens up your parasympathetic system. During a massage it’s normal to concentrate on the actual sensations you are receiving, because they are so comforting. The sensations and feelings you get from massage are very different from sexual arousal.
You can apply the lessons learned from an exercise like massage to your sexual appetite. What you need to do is bring those feelings together in some fashion. Clear your mind. Become prepared for stimulation but not urgently desiring it, simply try to experience it without falling into the trap of having to ‘blow your load”. .
You wouldn’t think that simply focusing on body related sensations would do much in the way of helping you delay orgasm, but the general consensus seems to be that it works. In order for it to work properly, you have to be relaxed and focused simultaneously while concentrating on all-over body sensations. This doesn’t imply that your thoughts should be erotic or sexual in nature; they should just set to task on taking everything in.
The biggest reason for failure has to do with an individual’s inability to remain calm. Invariably, most of the people who can’t achieve this are guilty of harboring sexual thoughts and feelings instead of simply existing and experiencing; they are not being passive enough.
The idea is to stimulate your partner while at the same time remaining mentally passive about the whole affair.
Don’t expect to break your urgent horniness or orgasm desires so quickly, sometimes it will happen whether or not you want it to, just keep it up. Once your pleasure meter hits the breaking point, you are most likely to drop everything else and seek justified climax. Your pulse goes up, you lose clarity, and your body further prepares for ejaculation. The tide can change in an instant, so be mindful of your feelings, and try to focus on your sensuality, not your sexuality.
By simply focusing on the physical sensations you experience, you will eventually build up a tolerance (not unlike a drug tolerance) which will allow you to really experience sex; once you reach this point you are set. Building up a tolerance is necessary if you want to truly experience Tantric sex, or just last a little longer in the sack. This is not the same thing as simply avoiding sex, or thinking about it. That will only further sensitize your mind and body, making your bedroom time even shorter in duration.
Listen to your body, and become a more sensual person. Even if it takes a while to master, eventually you’ll notice the change and things will become so much deeper for you sexually.
Don’t forget! Stay relaxed, soak in all physical data, banish your climax- related fantasies and enjoy the ride.
Part 8: Get more Familiar with Your Arousal — The trick to delay male ejaculation
Now that we’ve covered the basic tenants of what it takes to become a sensual sex partner, let’s take a better look at arousal. The chief purpose for this next trick is to train your body to further define and recognize the arousal process within yourself.
The scope of your arousal will widen out once you become more intimately familiar with its parts and processes. And by doing so you’ll have a much better idea of what you’re doing right, and what you’re doing wrong.
First off, you have to keep yourself in parasympathetic mode for this to truly be effective. And in truth, all parasympathetic underpinnings require focus and relaxation. Becoming a more parasympathetic creature is essential to the process of arousal modification and control.
Create a simple scale for your arousal level, from 1 to 10 for example. Your ultimate objective is to be able to go up and down the scale without actually going to the point of orgasm. The following bits will show you how to bring your levels down when they are in danger of pushing you “over the edge”, so to speak.
Try to imagine a 1 on the scale as a partial erection in a state of calm, and a 10 as an ejaculatory orgasm. Using a scale-based system like this will really enable you to better evaluate your performance. The more in-tune you are with your body and its processes, the more ability you will have in controlling your sexual functions.
Begin paying attention to your arousal level during masturbation or sex, and become more mindful of your place on the scale at any given time. Remember the things that cause level jumps on the arousal scale.
Are there certain things that tickle your fancy in such a way as to greatly increase arousal? Is there simply too much physical stimulation occurring? Are you losing your ability to remain calm?
Place your most intense thoughts on the back burner, so to speak. Be mindful of your thoughts. Don’t let your mind completely control your body. By letting your mind run wild, you are cementing your place in the world as a sexual appetizer.
Maximize your feelings of calming euphoria and relaxation and learn to master them. Pick a time to ejaculate once all other sexual obligations and plans have been met.
There are only 2 reasons for your sexual shortcomings in this department. You are either to physically sensate or you are simply dwelling on erotic thoughts and imagery to much.
Direct your concentration towards other things, and away from your arousal level. If your body is too sensitive, try to minimize your physical movements. If you find that you are too sensitive physically, back off and put your focus elsewhere.
Remember, your goal is to delay your orgasm for as long as possible. By identifying your ‘triggers’ and avoiding / manipulating them you will be able to last as long as you want in the bedroom.
Part 9: Focus on Her and Concentrate on ‘her pleasure’
Devoting yourself to your lady friend’s pleasure is an effective means of managing arousal. It is quite enjoyable to just watch a woman go through the entire process of arousal. By simply watching her motions and what seems to be working or not you can become more dangerous in the bedroom.
And of course, by shifting the love making focus on her you are prolonging your own climax. By focusing centrally on her, you should be able to keep your arousal level down; since you are not being stimulated directly.
You know your own orgasm is somewhere on the horizon, but bring her there first. If you’re not trying to satisfy your woman what are you really doing? Chances are, she’ll be more than happy for your efforts.
Most men spend almost no time concentrating on their woman’s pleasure; they seem to focus solely on their own over sexed fantasies. By simply showing her you care about her pleasure, you will make her happy and last a lot longer in bed as well.
When servicing her, don’t let your erotic thoughts or feelings run too wild. You mustn’t lose your focus; try to remain as impartial as possible. The sight of her body alone should be enough to push you over the edge of arousal, so watch out. Just try to keep a constant monitor going the whole time to keep your self in check.
Use this method in conjunction with your sensuality ritual(s). Keep your body in parasympathetic mode for as long as possible.
Thinking / Perception
Without becoming too involved or ‘in the moment’, start your love making sessions by tying to view yourself in the way a third party might. A simple change in perspective can make all the difference in the world.
Perception is not the same thing as acknowledgment; knowing something is there is much different than letting something steal your focus.
If you see a squad of emergency vehicles screeching past, you might simply think, “There’s an emergency”. But once you take it to the point of, “wonder what’s going on”, you’ve let it shift your focus. The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle talks about a similar concept- when you surrender to the “Now” conditions, and things like an irritating vehicle horn doesn’t bother you anymore!
To put it simply; process things, but don’t let them have any bearing on your goal at hand. Over-thinking something in sexual situations tends to cause people to begin to associate non-sexual things as sexual.
Your nervous system is much more sensitive than you may be aware; ejaculation can be triggered with the proper psychological stimulation.
Wait until your lady is pretty well satisfied before you begin to invest too much of yourself into the session. If you time things right, you might even be able to achieve a simultaneous climax. Rapidly rising arousal levels will end love making sessions early every single time. The point is, most men are simply too aroused even before actual penetration even occurs.
Part 10: The Final Word on controlling your arousal
Sex isn’t just a physical thing; your perception also plays an important role. Your emotional makeup and feelings can have a bearing on ‘when’ you ejaculate. Here are three ways in which your mental faculties play a role in your orgasm.
1. Highly charged erotic thoughts. Your arousal level goes all the way up, and your body prepares itself for ejaculation.
2. Your thinking plays a role in releasing certain hormones that influence the ejaculation procedure.
3. No confidence, performance anxiety. Feeling like a failure before you even begin is another way your body and mind might interfere with one another
Perceiving sex as a highly unique thing
If you want to lose control of your arousal, let yourself think of sex as something dirty and rare. Your attitude about sex plays a big role in your focus on it. Most guys have this feeling about sex, like is something rare and special. Surprises and gifts have a tendency to cause excitement, which will invariably release hormones into your blood stream that will further push you towards ejaculation.
High levels of dopamine and testosterone, (both of which are hormones that help cause premature ejaculation) will cause arousal to spin out of control. Just try not to make a big deal about sex; treat it as you would any other activity.
Make sex just another thing you do, like taking a shower. There are some breathing techniques that will prove useful for just this type of situation.
Your nerves can ruin an otherwise great experience if they are out of control. There are several ways that performance anxiety can lead to premature ejaculation.
Don’t jinx yourself. If you go into your sexual activity with the belief that you will fail, you are likely to not perform as well. You are in control of your own reality. Try to remember, you create your own reality, it is simply made up of all the things you think, feel and believe in; don’t let your inner demons ruin your sex life.
If you have a negative sexual attitude about yourself, it may become a self fulfilling prophecy. So try to go into every sexual situation clear, calm and confident.
Forget about all of your past failures and concentrate on the ‘now’. If you’re still having trouble making it happen just remember; in almost no time at all, it’ll be over and forgotten by you and all parties involved.
Don’t let a little sexual problem ruin your life, live a little, be free to make mistakes. Give it your best and learn from your mistakes. Your fear will control you if you don’t learn to control it; have fun, become your own biggest fan.
IF you’re with a partner who constantly tries to bring you down or insult you; move on, it’s probably not your fault anyway. No one needs their own personal critic around telling them all their faults.
What are the physical manifestations of anxiety?
Anxiety is responsible for greatly affecting your nervous system; it actually causes physical changes to occur, like in the circulatory and respiratory systems.
So when you become nervous or fearful your body will go into the same mode that it does whenever ejaculation is imminent. Serotonin levels are also affected by anxiety, (Serotonin is the chemical responsible for making you happy).
According to current research, higher Serotonin levels can actually prevent ejaculation. Essentially, this means that it can keep your ejaculatory muscles in a relaxed state for a longer period of time, allowing you to get more stimulation. It helps keep your body in its parasympathetic mode for a longer period of time.
Big drug companies have been doing research for a while on the link between Serotonin and ejaculation. They want to create a pill that can combat premature ejaculation with a synthetic type of Serotonin. May have a negative impact on your body however!
As stated before, Serotonin inhibits ejaculation through its calming effects. Unlike the excitable feelings you get from dopamine however, Serotonin produces more calming sensations. It works hand in hand with the parasympathetic nervous system and keeps the entire body relaxed for a longer period of time.
If you want Serotonin to be a part of your sexual experiences you’ll need to be as relaxed as possible. Try to connect on an emotional level and remain sure of yourself. Remember, your attitude and demeanor will determine how much Serotonin gets released into your bloodstream.
If you’re still having trouble, find a sexual supplement to take at least 30 -40 minutes before ‘sexy time’.
Part 11: How can a Meditating monk help you cure Premature Ejaculation ?
You wouldn’t think that meditation has anything to do with sex. The actual act of meditating doesn’t really have anything to do with sex, but it helps control the mind. He who controls his mind, controls his ejaculation.
You should regard the following information which is meant to strengthen your body and mind, and will assist you in everything you do for the rest of your life.
Someone with a well practiced meditation routine (such as a Buddhist monk) can keep their mind clear for hours. This means that they can maintain a parasympathetic state for almost inhuman lengths of time.
Given what we’ve covered so far (about parasympathetic nervous system), surely you can see the benefits. If Buddhist monks had sex, they would probably be amazing lovers.
For your average person, keeping your mind clear during sex is a tall order. But with the proper training and realization, you can learn to become a sexual powerhouse. Meditation will allow you to gain more fluid control over your body; this extends to chemical and emotional reactions; and by extension, ejaculation.
Meditation is not that hard to do, and there are a variety of ways you can do it. You’ve probably heard of Yoga or Tai chi, but you should start off with the basic sitting with legs crossed position.
Try this series of techniques on for size.
1). This works great for me and most everyone else I’ve shown it to.
2). Set up some kind of a timer, and set it for 10 minutes. For each new week that you practice, add an additional 10 minutes.
3). Sit down, cross your legs and close your eyes. Try to relax your entire body
4). Remove all distractions, and try to completely clear or empty your mind.
5). Begin breathing slowly and deeply.
6). Bring your inhalation / exhalation to a rate of around 4 seconds each direction. There’s no need to actually count the seconds, just feel it out
7). Relax and focus only on your breathing. Remove any thoughts or emotions from the picture and just try to remain sensual. Concentrate on the physical sensations that you are receiving during this time.
8). Keep it up until the timer runs down.
Remember, you are trying to eliminate all thoughts during your meditation. In order to exert power over your mind, you must first develop discipline. The timer’s purpose is two fold; it helps put your mind at ease (knowing that there is someone tending the clock), and it gives you a goal to strive for. If you find yourself straying away from the goal of keeping your mind clear and open, (even for a second) immediately reset the timer and start over.
This is a very serious exercise, and this type of reinforcement will really drive the point home. If you have what it takes to continue on, you will eventually find yourself able to meditate for up to an hour without distraction.
Controlling yourself during sex will become much easier once you seize control of your mind through meditation. Your overall feeling of well being should dramatically improve as well; your stress and anxiety will simply melt away. Through meditation, your body will become much more parasympathetic in almost every activity; enabling you to exert more control over your premature ejaculation.
Part 12: Breathing techniques to delay ejaculation
One of the key components of controlling arousal is breathing control / regulation. Breathing is a unique bodily function in that it can be controlled by the autonomous system (without your help), or directly by your conscious mind.
If you practice your breathing exercises, eventually you’ll be able to control your heart beat; which has an important role to play in arousal. The main point is, controlling your breathing will assist you in lasting much longer in the bedroom.
Breathing the ‘Right’ Way
Let’s look at some techniques you can use to develop breath control during sexual congress. A lot of guys seem to favor faster and shorter breaths when they are engaging in sexual activity. It is kind of a no-no, all it does is get you even more excited and aroused.
The end result is a premature ejaculation, mostly due to the increase in hormone levels. So it is important to develop a steady and slow rate in order to control arousal.
The ‘deepness’ of your breathing, isn’t as important as how often you breathe. For most guys a 3 to 5 second delay between each breath seems to be just right. Maintain control and don’t let the pace quicken; we’re talking slow and deliberate here.
It is also important that you learn to use your diaphragm. Your diaphragm is the muscle that allows your lungs to function the way they do. A lot of people seem to think that they can simply suck in air in large gasps; but that isn’t really the way that it works.
Breathing in that way actually removes a lot of the power in your breathing, and as a result, disrupts your level of calmness. The truth is, using your chest, nose or mouth to breathe isn’t at all necessary. All you need to do is simply push out your diaphragm and let your body do the rest.
When using your diaphragm appropriately, you shouldn’t have to do anything more than expanding or pushing out your upper abdomen. Your diaphragm is located directly above your abdomen. Your abdominal muscles aren’t actually involved in the process, so keep them as relaxed as possible. A diaphragm driven breathing session can be extremely refreshing and rejuvenating.
The best breathing technique for delaying ejaculation (Part 1)
Here is a step-by-step guide:
1. Sustain slow, medium depth breathing as covered earlier. I can’t stress how important this step is.
2. Once every minute to 30 seconds or so, close your eyes and take the deepest breath available to you.
3. Hold in that breath in for around 5 seconds and then slowly release it
4. As you are closing your eyes remember to concentrate fully on your breathing only. Really get inside your individual breaths, become lost in your own world. During this time you should be clear of any other thoughts (especially thoughts related to sex). Halting stimulation during this time is not prerequisite, but it’s probably better if you do.
If performed every minute or so, this simple breathing technique will not only keep you calm, it will also control your arousal level. As we’ve seen before, a high level of arousal will undoubtedly lead to ejaculation.
When it comes right down to it, arousal is purely mental, that’s why these breathing techniques work so well. Through them you are able to maintain your erection while at the same time distracting yourself long enough to lower your arousal.
If your premature ejaculation is quite severe, use these techniques more often. If it isn’t as severe, use them sparingly or when arousal hits its peak. This is a very useful method, and it is really easy to integrate into your sexual vocabulary.
When combined with ‘PM muscles training and relaxation’, ejaculation control will become an even easier task to master.
The best breathing technique for delaying ejaculation (Part 2)
Synchronize your breathing.
This technique should be performed continuously during sexual activities. It is deceptively simple, but easy to master.
1. When sexually engaged, the penis enters and exits the vaginal canal in a particularly rhythmic manner.
2. The idea is to synchronize your breathing with each thrust
3. Exhale going in.
4. Inhale going out.
You don’t have to literally inhale / exhale for every thrust. What you want to achieve is a slower breathing rate than that of your thrusting. So, for every 5 thrusts apply the information outlined in the 4 steps above. Slow and deliberate breathing is crucial for delaying ejaculation.
Inhaling applies strain on the pelvic area and lower abdomen, and in turn, applies weight to the prostate and PC muscle. It should be known that applying pressure to these sensitive regions can immediately trigger orgasm.
So ejaculation is less of a possibility when you are exhaling than when you are inhaling. Do your inhaling when you are less stimulated, for example; when you are pulling out. You will probably discover that inhalation is more natural-feeling when done in this manner.
The best breathing technique for delaying ejaculation (Part 3)
Triangular Breathing Technique.
This is a commonly used technique in Yoga and perhaps other eastern practices. It is designed to bring on an improved state of consciousness and relaxation. Since it helps relieve stress, it can work wonders for relieving and treating the anxiety issues that lead up to premature ejaculation. In addition to its calming effects, Serotonin production is reinforced as well.
How to perform the triangular breathing technique: (the actual number of seconds implemented may vary from person to person, you will need to find your own ‘magic number’)
Inhale for 3 seconds. Hold for 3 seconds. Exhale for 3 seconds. Repeat.
With this technique you are learning to breathe in intervals, specifically in structures of 3. It is a very old and useful technique.
You should choose any length of time between 2 and 6 seconds for your exercise; just remember to keep them all at equal length. Gravitate towards whatever you consider to be most comfortable.
You may begin by actually counting the seconds, but eventually you will get the hang of it without having to actually count. As arousal levels increase, you might want to resume counting; this acts as a nice distraction and prevents you from going to far over the edge.
You can use this technique as a sexual aid for its calming effects. But don’t forget the importance of breathing by itself, and trying to gather greater control over your body.
Consistent breathing is what is most important during sex. As your nerves or anxiety interferes, you may lose control of the situation; the breathing techniques are for learning to combat this situation. Remember, the more you do it the better you’ll become. These breathing techniques will open up a whole new world of sexual play to you, or help you rediscover it.
The more aware you are of your breathing the better. Keep it at a medium depth and at a slow pace. Stay relaxed, and you will last a lot longer in the bedroom
You may also want to experiment with different combination of breathing styles; through the nose, mouth, or in some combination for example. The point is to remain as calm as possible. The general consensus seems to state that the nose is more restricting and the mouth offers greater control; we recommend using both in combination, have fun.
Part 13: The ‘Nuts and Bolts’ of Longer Lasting Sex
Self-assurance — Self confidence is your door to ultimate freedom. It plays a role in your overall performance, and the way she sees you as a sexual being and man. The past is past, can’t change it; stand proud and look to the future. Premature ejaculation isn’t the end of the world, you’ll overcome it. As you age, your ejaculatory reflex will become somewhat callused. What better way to ease your mind and slip into serenity than by asserting yourself as a worthwhile lover.
Serenity — The more calm you are, the longer you stay parasympathetic. Staying serene in the midst of a sexual exploit is difficult. . Give it your best shot, and try to keep in mind that your length in the bedroom hinges on how calm you can remain.
A Clear and Open Mind — Don’t let outside (or inside) distractions deter you from your task. Your body interprets mental stimulation as a signal to prepare the ejaculatory ducts. The cerebral cortex is a bit unpredictable when it comes to sexual activities; depending on how you use it you could be ‘getting it on’ for a few minutes up to several hours.
Absorb these 3 items, and let them become part of your routine. You don’t need to constantly dwell on them, just keep things natural and laid back. The more you practice them, the more natural they will become in your sexual exploits.
Part 14: The Calm erection — How to stay hard longer
We have previously covered the two different types of erections; the first being based on mental stimulation (erotic thoughts and cerebral stimulation), and the second being physical in nature (direct penis stimulation).
The majority of guys become aroused from a combination of the two. From this point on, you should try to engage in a physical erection only. It will be a sort of calm erection that isn’t on the verge of exploding.
Growing an erection in this manner may take a little longer than you’re used to. It is definitely not an instant development, just try to remain as patient as possible and avoid your regular routine. Manual stimulation will probably take a few minutes.
Try to avoid any explicit visualization while you are doing this. Remember, you are focusing on your genital region, not your mind; learn to separate the two.
Remember, you must be in control of your erection and arousal from the very start of any sexual activity. Developing a calm erection is just an extension of these concepts.
Calm erections are great for increasing your stamina in the bedroom; and they’re completely natural. You will need to learn to focus on purely physical sensations in order to actually pull it off. This will require you to forget about your fantasies and other erotic visualizations.
If you are able to concentrate long enough and control your mind, you can see immediate results. Don’t forget to practice.
Part 15: Recognizing the ‘point of no return’
We are sure you’ve probably heard of ‘the point of no return’ before. The point of no return is the feeling you get right before orgasm when you lose control, it usually lasts around 3–5 seconds. It is the last stop before orgasm occurs.
Masturbation is the best way to locate and learn more about your own point of no return. Get more in tune with your own body; learn what makes your nether regions tick.
A lot of experts think that the point of no return is a signal to the body telling it to cease all stimulation. While this is sort of true, you should really be trying to identify the moment’s right before the point of no return.
The feeling you get 10–30 seconds before reaching the point of no return is what you are looking for. This is the point where the sensations you are feeling on and in your genitals is sensitive and very pleasurable; additionally, you will feel your PM start trying to contract.
What’s actually occurring? Your nerves are being stimulated to their very limit. Then your body moves into the point of no return, and your muscles down there prime themselves for ejaculation.
If you’ve been paying attention to the information presented so far, you should be able to easily identify your own point of no return. Arousal control will become more focused once you become acquainted with the specific techniques in practice and with your body’s own peculiarities.
And if you accidentally move into the point of no return, you’ll notice that the PM squeezing method will greatly reduce the sensations. Holding back an ejaculation will become even easier once you’ve been able to identify the ‘pre-‘point of no return.
The key is to start your PM squeeze at just the right time; not to early not too late. Once the PONR is reached, one simple thrust could trigger ejaculation. As stated before, anything is preferable over premature ejaculation.
Try to get as acquainted as you possibly can with your limits. Once you’re able to identify the pre-point of no return, you will be able to effectively block ejaculations. And if you accidentally move past the point of no return, you will still be able to prevent ejaculation.
Part 16: Exercising the Perineal Muscles to help you cure premature ejaculation
The perineal muscles are chiefly responsible for postponing and executing ejaculation.
In case you didn’t know, the perineum encapsulates the area just above the penis, past the anus and ends at around the tailbone area. The perineal floor consists of a variety of muscles. These muscles are responsible for almost all of the necessary functions in the area, this includes; bowel movements, urination, ejaculation, orgasm.
There are 2 muscles that are responsible for controlling ejaculation, they are the “PC muscle (Pubococcygeus)” and the “BC muscle (Bulbocavernosus)”. They are often referred to as sex muscles.
The Levator Ani muscles are a group of muscles of which the PC muscle is a part of. It is connected to the BC muscle, and together they form the perineal floor.
The PC muscle plays a more vital role in aiding bowel movements than it does for ejaculatory purposes, but it is involved nonetheless.
The BC muscle is compromised of 2 individual muscles that engulf the bulb of the penis. When semen or urine is pushed out, the BC muscles are what are responsible for the action.
Because the PC and BC muscles are connected, they tend to get classified as one big muscle. Even modern, well documented and researched books sometimes make the mistake of not differentiating between these 2; more often than not, the entire muscle is simply called the PC muscle. That’s not to say that they are misinforming people on the proper usage of it, it’s just worth mentioning that there is actually a difference.
Knowing the difference may come in handy later. For simplicity’s sake, from this point on we’ll simply refer to both muscles in the singular sense.
Your PC muscle could be seen as a sort of ‘last defense’ against ejaculation. But if you use it a lot during sex, you might find that it pushes you closer to orgasm than before. This is an often overlooked detail about the PC muscle and its many functions.
Having a strong PC muscle is definitely a great thing. Your orgasms will become stronger, erections harder and you’ll last a lot longer than someone with a weak one.
You can also use the PC muscle to block oncoming ejaculations…..
Where is the PC muscle?
Let’s take a second and really locate your PC muscle. It is located between your anus and scrotum. To feel it contract; just stop your flow of urine the next time you are in the bathroom; the muscle that stops the flow is the PC muscle.
Your PC muscle is also capable of moving around your erect penis. Now that we’ve found it, let’s give it a little workout. If you find yourself unable to actually contract this muscle more than 30 times or contract and hold it for up to 30 seconds, then your PC muscle is in poor condition.
Training your PM muscle
You need to strengthen your PM muscle before it can be used to nullify an ejaculation. The PM muscle is actually one of the more underdeveloped muscles that we humans possess. Training your PM muscle can be done using a variety of different methods.
The exercises that you will have to implement are known as kegel exercises (named after the man who discovered them).
The original intention of PC muscle exercise was to help pregnant women recover their sexual function. Men started doing them after it was noticed that they seemed to work for anyone. There are 2 common ways to exercise the PC muscle; flex it repeatedly or contract and hold it for any length of time.
Before we get started …
Let’s go over a few things about the perineal muscles (PM). It’s imperative that you be familiar with precisely what we are implying when we state flex when pointing out these training techniques.
‘Flexing’ in this context means to squeeze the muscle. As you become more familiar with it, you will find that there are 2 principal ways you can flex this muscle.
They are sort of similar, but they both produce entirely different sensations. Now let’s go into more detail, shall we?
The first way to flex the PM muscle is in an upward and inward movement. You want to create the sensation that something is tugging on the muscle from inside your body and towards your backside. It should feel like one giant muscle transfixed in the middle of your perineum. This particular method involves the use of a greater part of the rear section of the muscle.
The second method involves the use of the front section of the PM. This should create the sensation of 2 individual muscles being squeezed together (and that’s what you’re actually doing), this one will be centered more towards your scrotum. The front part of the PM is responsible for pushing out fluids, so it’s understandable that this method will go against your goal of achieving total orgasm control.
Here is a great PM exercise that you can do a few times every week for great results:
Get your erection up to around 35–45%, (but they can be performed flaccid or fully erect) what we’re trying to do is get you relaxed and slightly aroused. If you do them too hard, you might find an erection to be more uncomfortable. But if you’re trying to increase the rigidity of your erection, then by all means, have at it.
Here is what you need to do
Flex and hold your PM muscle for around 3–5 seconds.
Let go, and relax for a few seconds.
Repeat flexes and holds, step 2….
Repeat up to 20 times.
Try to do at least a couple of sets per day.
You can even combine both of the front and back PM muscle flexing techniques for interesting results.
But that’s not all there is to it; you also need to focus on your breathing. When you squeeze the PM, inhale; when you release it, exhale. There will be a more efficient energy transfer using this method, which will ultimately result in a more effective workout.
For you overachievers, here is a more highly developed PC muscles exercise that you can perform. It’s definitely much more involved, but the results are spectacular; no pain, no gain.
Squeeze and hold the PM for at least 10 seconds.
Release for 4 seconds.
Repeat up to 20 times
1 set of these per day is enough.
Alter your breathing like you did in the first exercise. Since you are squeezing the PM for up to 10 seconds, you don’t have to hold your breath. Just try and make sure you exhale at the beginning of each squeeze; your abs should be used as well.
Take it easy at first, try to do only around half of the required repetitions from the first example; when you feel that you can do more, step it up. You may also want to develop your own schedule and program.
One of the great things about PM exercises is that you can do them anywhere at anytime, and no one will know what you are doing.
There is actually no need to construct and follow some kind of rigorous regimen. A few repetitions a few times a week is more than enough. Just try not to over do things, as there is no need for it.
You can do them while standing up; legs about shoulder width apart, and bend forward slightly; this position enhances the effectiveness. In order to avoid unnecessary lower back strain, put your hands on your knees for further balance.
A strong PM will become more useful later when you are learning to squeeze it right before an orgasm in order to facilitate multiple orgasms. Squeezing / flexing the PM during sexual activity will actually bring you closer to ejaculation.
Master the relaxation method before you attempt to use the PM to hold back an ejaculation. Once you are able to fully use the PM, you will find that it is the best way to reduce or completely eliminate your premature ejaculation difficulties.
Part 17: Relaxing the PC muscles to delay ejaculation
If you want to control your ejaculation reflex you must learn to keep your PM relaxed. This little detail could be responsible for bedroom success or failure.
The body will stay in parasympathetic mode as long as this muscle is relaxed. Truth be told, this is undoubtedly the most effective means of keeping the ejaculatory reflex under control.
The PM squeezes and contracts frequently during sexual activities, especially right up to and during orgasm; that is what is supposed to happen. The movement of the PM is autonomic and is responsible for raising arousal levels leading up to orgasm.
The constricting of the PM is a foremost provider in initiating ejaculation; it drives more blood to the perineal (or genital) area and prepares the ejaculatory ducts for action. The motion also prepares the seminal vessels for immediate expulsion of semen.
Pay closer attention to what your PM is doing when engaging in sexual activities. Most guys completely avoid their PM, or they simply don’t even know it exists. While it may seem as if controlling these reflex actions is impossible, I assure you that it is not. With a little practice, you’ll get used to it.
Here is how you do it — Keep your PM as relaxed as possible next time you engage in any sexual activity. Try not to let it contract, and make sure not to keep it flexed. The main point to absorb here is; don’t let things escalate to the point where you lose control.
Sensual sex techniques and acts work very well when attempting to monitor your PM in its current state. In case you forgot; sensual love making is all about directing your pleasure in a way that makes it as non-sexual as possible. Try to focus on physical sensations not erotic mental imagery.
The next time you have sex; try to keep your PM perfectly relaxed. You will most likely fee as if you could last forever; your urge to ejaculate will be almost non-existent. This is due to the fact that the body is being forced to remain in parasympathetic mode.
It will take control and attention in order to keep your PM relaxed. The truth is, you should be completely focused on your PM in every sexual encounter henceforth. Once you have made it into a habit, it will become second nature to you.
If you want to keep your ejaculatory reflex at bay, the best way is to rely on the assistance from your PM. If you don’t believe me, try to stimulate yourself while keeping that muscle relaxed.
I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised when you find out that you can receive continuous stimulation without feeling the urge to orgasm. Afterward, you should let the PM do its natural thing; you’ll find that your arousal level will change dramatically. In almost no time you’ll feel things down below begin bubbling like a caldron.
Keeping your PM relaxed during sex won’t be easy at first. Practice other arousal control methods together with your PM awareness exercise.
When you combine these 2 ideas with the breathing techniques we already covered, you will possess a very powerful arsenal. It only takes most guys around a month to get the hang of things. With a little effort you will notice results in as little as 1–3.days.
Alternatively, you can also use the PM to actually hold your ejaculation at bay, even as orgasm becomes imminent.
The strange thing about the PM is that when it contracts, it can trigger ejaculation, but once you get close to ejaculating it won’t help at all. Squeezing and holding the PM right before ejaculation is the best way to prevent it from happening.
The PM squeeze is sort of a ‘last defense’ for avoiding ejaculation. Don’t rely on just this one method of prolonging yourself. Also, if you repeatedly try to reach orgasm just to practice this PM technique you’re wiring your body to produce an even quicker ejaculation.
A step by step guide / method to using the PC muscles…
1. You will only train your body to ejaculate sooner by trying to reach orgasm quickly and practicing the technique of PM relaxation to hold it back. Only use this technique when you reach ‘the point of no return’.
2. When ejaculation becomes imminent, immediately stop all stimulation and squeeze your PC muscle.
3. You may want to also incorporate your abs into the procedure, it really seems to help.
4. Keep squeezing your PM and flexing your abs until you feel the urge to ejaculate subsides, it may take several seconds. Don’t try to hold your breath, keep your breathing even and continuous and at a medium depth. Extremely deep breathing can make it nearly impossible to keep squeezing the PM, because of the pressure it exerts on certain areas around the genitals.
5. While performing this, try to keep your arousal level as low as possible. In this way, you’ll be able to immediately start over without any hang ups. And like before, when you begin again, keep the PM relaxed.
The sensations you will receive from this exercise will be akin to a non-ejaculatory orgasm (orgasm without ejaculation). If you don’t start the PM squeeze early enough it won’t work (if semen has made its way to far inland). Squeezing too late may yield the possibility of holding it at bay for a while; but rest assured, as soon as the PM is relaxed you will ejaculate. It’s not actually a bad thing, (might be slightly messy) the plus side is you will be able to maintain your erection.
You will get similar results from squeezing too early. In doing so, you will actually assist in pushing ejaculate out of your body. Try squeezing around 2–3 seconds before you feel ejaculation is imminent; these times may vary slightly from person to person. You will need to discover your optimal time.
For most individuals a non-ejaculatory orgasm can only be triggered by ceasing all manual stimulation prior to orgasm. It is pretty difficult to hold it back for most people while stimulation is ongoing.
But ceasing stimulation is still preferable to premature ejaculation. As your experience and skill increases you will probably be able to hold it back during stimulation.
The truth is, this ‘holding it back’ thing is very difficult to get the hand of, but don’t let that prevent you from achieving your goal. Diligence is the key word here, if you keep at it, it will happen for you. It’s one of those things that are deceptively simple (squeezing your PM as ejaculation becomes imminent).
The PM muscles are responsible for preventing or initiating premature ejaculation. Delaying ejaculation is all about keeping the PM in a relaxed state for as long as possible. Holding back ejaculation is as simple as squeezing the PM right when ejaculation starts to take over.
Part 18: Masturbation Techniques to control and delay ejaculation — Stop, Go, Squeeze
The Stop and Go technique
I want to tell you about a favorite masturbation method of mine (which is similar to the “stop and start” technique). The “stop and start” system is fruitless because it is usually implemented the wrong way, and if that isn’t the case, people frequently misunderstand it.
The routine most individuals practice involves masturbating until you feel as if you’re about to orgasm, then stopping and waiting for a few seconds, and them immediately resuming activities. I’m sure you’re probably familiar with this, correct?
Not to say that this doesn’t work, but there are problems with it. For instance, you should not have to stop simply because you feel ejaculation is imminent. You should be stopping before you even feel things starting to build towards it. If you are already feeling ejaculation coming on, you’re extremely close to triggering it. It is still possible to put the brakes on, but by this time semen is probably already half way through the process; all it takes for ejaculation to occur is an extra 20–30 seconds.
Let’s further clarify things with an example.
Let’s say, there’s this man, and he usually ejaculates within 5 minutes of manual stimulation. Keep in mind that the ejaculation sensation starts rearing its head around 15 seconds or so before ejaculation occurs.
So what you want to do is give yourself an additional buffer zone of 30–45 seconds. This buffer zone will inhibit your semen from beginning its one way journey. So as a substitute for your previous technique, stop an additional full 30 seconds before your normal time.
By doing so you are eliminating the ejaculation cycle from even starting. You may have a little trouble determining exactly where the 30 second window is at first, but with enough practice it will become second nature.
Wait almost a full minute between your stop and start cycles. Keep your erection stiff during this period, and use some mental stimulation if necessary. See if you can keep things going for 30 minutes to an hour. If soreness becomes a problem, shave off some time.
The purpose of this exercise is to attempt to retrain your body to handle increased levels of stimulation. And practice your arousal control techniques as well as PM control while doing this. Once the session comes to a close, you can make the decision on whether to orgasm or not.
Around 1–4 ejaculations per week is plenty. For training purposes, it may be beneficial to avoid ejaculation, but don’t make it a habit. Practice holding everything back on those days where you decide to ejaculate; once you’ve fully developed your PM, of course.
Masturbation Technique 2
The first technique is intended to prepare you for extended sessions of stimulation. This technique can help with that, but it’s mainly intended to help you use you PM muscles.
Again, it’s very crucial that you avoid speeding towards ejaculation just to practice your technique; you will only push yourself further away from your ultimate goal. The shorter your masturbation sessions are, the quicker you are training yourself to ejaculate.
With this technique we are going to incorporate breathing, relaxation and PM exercises. If you want a gauge to see how much progress you’ve made, you’ve found it in this technique. It would be a good idea to practice this technique around once a week.
Begin manually stimulating yourself at a slow pace. Use all of the aforementioned methods. Monitor your breathing, keep your PM relaxed, avoid overly erotic thoughts and imagery, and use arousal control methods.
Build up to a medium pace and maintain it.
Maintain the medium pace for up to 45 minutes; try to go even longer if possible. No doubt you will want to ejaculate before the timer runs out. If so, pause for a couple of minutes and continue.
Remember to cease before ejaculation even begins to creep up. Try to maintain a stage 2 level of arousal. Postpone ejaculation; we are trying to re-wire your reflexes.
Once you’ve passed the 20–45 minute mark, begin preparing yourself to hold things back. Do this without trying to consciously initiate orgasm. Just keep going until you reach that point. Remember, our goal here is to prolong your bedroom stamina.
Once you get around 5–8 seconds away from ejaculation, use the PM ‘hold it back’ technique. Squeeze your PM for up to 10–15 seconds; by that time the urge should have passed. Avoid ejaculation for the first round. As long as you stop soon enough, you should find it relatively easy to keep it at bay.
Once your arousal levels drop and your urges subside, start over at a medium pace again, not really attempting to reach orgasm.
Use all of the techniques discussed so far and remember to relax. For the second time you feel ejaculation becoming imminent repeat the PM squeeze and hold technique.
Keep stimulating yourself this time, as you squeeze and hold. Maintain stimulation for an additional few seconds then back off. You should be creeping ever close towards orgasm by now. It should be a little more difficult to retrain yourself this time, which means your muscles are working. Keep the PM flexed until orgasm subsides again. If you let go too early, ejaculation will commence.
Go back to step 7. Continue stimulating yourself for a few seconds after you’ve initiated the PM hold and squeeze. Repeat the entire process over. Eventually you will orgasm; and your practice session will come to a close.
When using the PM ‘hold and squeeze’ method, it is common for guys to experience non-ejaculatory orgasms. Afterwards your arousal level will descend to stage 2 and your erection will remain rigid. Holding things back while continuing to masturbate is not easy; some men might even find it to be extremely difficult. You might not be able to pull it off; don’t let it get to you though. Its better to stop and wait than it is to ejaculate prematurely and disappoint your partner, right?
Part 19: Summing up the Perfect Premature Ejaculation Cure
Here are the five important points/strategies-
Point # 1 — Most importantly, keep your body in parasympathetic mode for as long as possible. You need to learn to control your arousal in order to stay in this relaxed state for any length of time. Remember, it’s not as if you’re actually controlling your arousal levels, you are simply not allowing it to take over and run amok. Focus on your breathing when trying to maintain arousal levels. Remain relaxed and breathe in deliberate intervals. Take deeper breaths when your body dynamic changes. In all honesty, sex and arousal are mostly part of a mental construct. Controlling your thoughts is just as easy as limiting your physical stimulation. Empty your head, and relax your body; that’s all there is to it.
Point # 2 — Be sure of yourself and your abilities. If you don’t believe in yourself, how is anyone else supposed to? A little self assurance can go a long way. Without it, anything you do may become inconsequential. Without a confident and relaxed demeanor you won’t perform well. Let go of your worries and concerns and just be ‘in the moment’. Just do your best, and forget about all of your past sexual encounters. Prolonging your ejaculation is all about the confidence you exert, and maintaining relaxation. Accept the fact that for a lot of men PE is very common, and nothing is “your fault” to begin with. You are most likely very healthy, and your problems are not medically related. Walk tall, no one likes a whiner.
Point # 3 — Your PE could be stemming from poor masturbation habits. Premature ejaculation is frequently brought on by years of trying to get there too quickly. You should be attempting to re-wire your body for longer stimulation. You probably need to quash your agitated ejaculatory reflexes. Keep expanding the duration of your sexual activities; by doing so, you will insure your triumph. Take your focus away from reaching orgasm as fast as possible, and turn it towards maintaining extended sessions of relaxed pleasure. Re-wiring your body can be performed while engaging in sex with a partner or with masturbation. The previous material covered deals with the best methods for achieving this. Self-stimulation (if at all possible, with a sex toy) is going to work better than sex with a partner; at least at first. In a solo setting, there’s less pressure to perform and no chance of embarrassment.
Point # 4 — Learn to control and work your PM (Perineal muscles — PC and BC muscles). You can only train yourself to avoid ejaculation by becoming familiar with the PM and its functions; of which there are two. Firstly, keep your PM relaxed (as well as your entire body) as a primary way to avoid ejaculation. Once this muscle begins producing contractions, the ejaculation process has started. So don’t forget about those PM relaxation techniques. Direct focus on the PM is also advised. Train yourself (through use of the PM) to have multiple orgasms. Getting to this point will require you to develop a very strong PM. With mastery of this technique comes the ability to engage in sex for as long as you want without worry, and you should only have to cease activity to produce these mini-orgasms.
Point # 5 — We’ve covered a lot of material here, and you probably want to jump right in and do everything at once. Be realistic, you can’t perform everything in a day, it takes time. Don’t let all of this data clutter up your mind, particularly when engaging in sexual activities. You should try everything we’ve discussed, but do so while maintaining your ability to remain relaxed. You can’t force yourself to remain relaxed and focused. Let it come to you in a natural way. A sympathetic state is brought on by anxiety and over thinking. Enjoy yourself, and don’t make this into something you ‘have to do’ or dread. Where do I go from here? You now possess all the knowledge you need in order to end your bout with premature ejaculation; all that’s left is for you to take direct action. This problem is not as impossible to overcome as you might be thinking. Make a promise to yourself that you are going to give this an honest and dedicated shot. Take your training seriously. This will be a gradual process; you won’t become a stud overnight. You will need true dedication in order to achieve your goal. We are sure that you will find the results you get to be more than worth your effort in the end.
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The story first appeared on http://www.brightfuturesforfamilies.org/3653/guide-to-last-longer/