On Being Overwhelmed
I’ve been lamenting a lot lately about job searching. There’s a good reason for it. It’s overwhelming. You hunt down all the leads you can, you put in the applications that you’re not grossly under qualified for, and you hope. As the wallet gets smaller, the hope gets harder to hold onto. As impending bills get closer, it gets harder still. It’s overwhelming. When you’re a single parent to boot, the weight of everything is on your shoulders. Yeah, if you need help there are probably people that would be happy enough to help you while you’re looking, at least so long as you have friends or family and they’re not in exactly the same boat you are. Support systems can be hard to come by, and they’re not always guaranteed.
I moved to Texas specifically because my support system is here. Like Hell I wanna ask them for help with finances though. All of this is of course made worse by the fact that for years I haven’t had to ask anyone for financial help. Not friends or family, not the government. Then what do I get that’s to the point where there’s truly hope of employment with? A part time job at $9 an hour. Now, I’m not gonna scoff at that. It’s not bad at all, really, it’s not, but it’d still be 50–100 short of paying the bills, and that’s just the bills. That realization sent me into a state of panic the other day.
If offered that job am I gonna turn it down because of that? No! Anything is better than nothing, and who has just one job these days without a specialized degree anyway? Well, you know, besides most of the people I know, and previously me. Of course, those were full time jobs…
It’s really easy to get down on yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Starting to question your worth is the worst.
There’s a silver lining though, and a reason to take that less than ideal job if you’re offered one. It’s easier to get a job if you have a job. I’ll say it again for the people in the back; when you are already employed, getting a job is easier. Why? Well, in part because human beings are contrary assholes who are more likely to want something that someone else is playing with, but also, because having a job shows that you’re able to have one. You can display skills that allow you to have and keep a job.
If you’re like me, and you’re feeling overwhelmed and the only thing that’s looked promising enough to give you real hope is less than ideal, just try to remember that any step forward is a good step. It doesn’t have to be the last step unless you decide that it should be. Don’t however give up on your ideal just because you have something to get you through until you get there. Even that job at the fast food place is bearable if you remember that you won’t be there forever, you know, so long as you are actually able to physically do it.
Also remember it’s okay to take a break every now and then. An afternoon, a day. It’s okay to start slapping your hand, or telling yourself no, if you catch yourself getting neurotic checking your email, or checking up on applications. These things will only make you crazy, and as such more likely to get overwhelmed and burnt out. Those two things are not going to help. Give yourself a little break if you need to. Just don’t let that break turn into a full out stop.