Photos That Look Within
Self Disclosure in relationships and the Johari Window
In the textbook Looking Out Looking In 15th edition written by Authors Adler, and Proctor they define Self Disclosure as
“ The process of deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and would not normally be known by others.”(84) These words carry weight, deliberate is not and accident or a noticeable exsposures facial expression. Significant is something that is truly not commonly known, also known as a secret. Yes people still have those, and they do still mean something. The models of Self Disclosure so far in simple terms have been narrowed in to two terms under the umbrella of Social Penetration these terms are called breadth and depth. Think of Breadth as traveling around the circle that is you, scratching the surface of your personality and all your little things that make up your modality of impression, think only skin deep. Then there is depth, pick any one of those personality traits on the surface of your breadth and then start digging and go deep, theres your depth. You can judge the intimacy or closeness of your relationship with a person according to where they stand in breadth and depth of your personal social penetration spectrum. Each relationship you have is different because everyone you know will resonate with you differently and serve a different purpose in your life just as you will in theirs. We self disclose things that are more private at times with some people for some reasons, and less private with other people for other reasons. As taken from the text Looking Out Looking In another device for looking at self disclosure is called the Johari Window named after the creators Joseph Luft, and Harry Ingham. It is a four frame window divided into parts of information that you know about yourself and and that you do not know about yourself.
As is is formatted it starts at the top left with frame 1 representing the information which both you and the other person are aware. Next top right frame 2 represents the blind area: information of which you are unaware but of which the other person is aware. You learn about information in the blind area primarily through feedback from other. Next is bottom left frame 3 this represents the hidden area: information that you know but you aren’t willing to share with others. Items in this hidden section become public primarily through self disclosure, which is the focus of this section. Last is bottom left frame 4 this represents information that is unknown to both you and others. At first it seems impossible to verify. If neither you or others know what it contains how can you know that it exists? However, are we not constantly discovering new unusual unrecognized talents, strengths, or weaknesses? ~Personally traveling through the four frames of the of the Johari window exercise for my interpersonal communications class in my reflection of self, and then again for literal assignment in my photography class i’ve found myself more than a few times.
This is the second variation of the Johari window without the lampshade on my head. A little less comical but still gets the point across. I sent the original picture to my teacher for my Interpersonal Communications class who asked if she could use it for her future classes as an example. I agreed, she later told me that it was a huge success and really helped to get the point across to her students. I was then able to give myself a pat on the back. Anything I can do to help mankind understand just how much we don't about know each other or ourselves until we really take the time to look. We must remember to be honest with ourselves in our journey. It’s ok to set boundaries for yourself and others. Just remember to have clarity with yourself and especially where it counts with another person. People can become incredibly guarded because maybe you have allowed someone too much access to your vulnerabilities and then they weaponized it to hurt or manipulate and abuse you. It Happens. The healing process is different for everyone, short for some longer for others. I can tell you this, the sooner you deal with it the better because if you harbor it too long it will fester and the purging process later could prove to be more painful. Most of the time it’s out of our control and for some reason that we don't know about but seems to be for our own good until we learn better and realize to deal with it dead in the eye.
This is a Photo Weave I composed from a single image of one black and white print and one color print of personal items I titled “Mother’s Alter” you can see a picture of her in the center there. She passed away from cancer March 22, 2010. She was a true artist, poet, painter, sculptor, historian, philosopher and catholic orphan. There are no words that could describe my mother’s depths of knowing, seeing, and compassion. The worst part about my mother being gone is that my children will never get to know her the way that I did. She passed away shortly after my father did, he also was lost to cancer. He was also an amazing artist. He was a sculptor of every kind, wood carving, welding, clay, stone, bronze castings. His work can be found scattered throughout central Louisiana. He spent his last years as a teacher and I can only imagine the loss my mother felt upon his death. I remember their love and the art they made together.
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I entered this piece in the student art show at Odessa College along with a portrait of our cockatiel we call Mr. Bird he’s kind of a jerk and really loud at times. The two Photos were noticed so I received a Scholarship and a Merit award. This was an honor considering the amount of truly gifted artists and students that hung their art in the gallery on the same walls. These past semesters have been an incredible learning experience to say the least. I was even able to get my hands on an Infrared canon 5D camera which takes black and white photos with a twist, it turns anything with chlorophyl into a bright white. So when I took a photo of our local duck pond on a sunny day it looked like a magical stroll through the underworld.
To think that this beautiful picture was hidden in plain sight is amazing to me. A simple adjustment of perspective through a camera to unlock a different world. I included this photo in the article about the Johari widow and self discovery and my experience with photography in school to point out that you are the master of your perspective. As a people we loose sight of what in means to have a human experience because we become preoccupied with the trappings of escapism. I am a single parent, and a retired veteran. I have two teenage girls, and two boys under the age of ten. Never before has it been so important to be self aware and aware of my surroundings, and to understand the power of a spoken or written word. I must practice discernment at all times. I have certain responsibilities being an only parent like maintaining my health, this takes focus and constantly reminding myself of my intent. I repeat several mantras like a prayer throughout my day to keep my conscious and subconscious mechanisms in alignment working toward the same goals. I repeat these intentions out loud because I do understand and remember the power of a spoken word. It changes your perspective and reaffirms your beliefs.
This May 1st 2017 I received the Student Award of Excellence in Arts and Humanities after being nominated by the photography department head. My fourteen year old daughter was kind enough to come with me and close her eyes for the photo. She was also mistaken for a collage student three different times by the staff members, I have resolved to increase my cardio routine. I do my best to stay fit both physically and mentally. I have been lucky to have some of the best teachers in school at Odessa college.
I also have been blessed to meet some of the most amazing people in business online as well. Over the past year I have followed the methods of some of the most successful people online and the one thing that I found that they all have in common is their authenticity they found through self discovery. Most people never reach success because they just can’t be honest with themselves about what they really want in life. This comes from the fears that were programed into us since we were born. I am doing my best to break this cycle of fear and ignorance for my children, and only the application knowledge can cure this. I encourage them to read and question everything. This has opened up some amazing conversations and some of the most open and honest lines of communication one could expect from a child. My number one rule is I don’t get mad. I was not the best kid and I kept secrets from my parents out of fear, so I refuse to perpetuate that. So far my kids have come to me with even the smallest of concerns, its awesome.
Personally I have overcome so much darkness in my life I thought it would be a crutch as a parent, as it turns out what I have endured is what my children identify with the most. You see they weren't always in my custody and while they were not, they also went through some very difficult times with their biological mother who is no longer allowed in their lives. I have not remarried or dated seriously in several years out of self preservation and respect for the children. As a family we have come so far together in trust and love, emotionally we have a sense of home that lives within us wherever we go like a deep warm fellowship in our chest that we share in our hugs and heartbeats, in the silence or music when our eyes meet. It’s the feeling of the door always being unlocked for you and open, the light always being left on in the dark so you find your way back when the trappings draw you away. I believe that the family we make out of friends become a powerful culture of love, a tribe of like minded people who really care about each other like a real family should. I believe the greatness in humanity still guides us like a lighthouse to our higher nature. I believe in One Love One family.
~ Ferris Ducker
RonaldB.Adler, Russell F. Proctor II. Looking Out Looking In. 15th edition
USA: Boston MA 2015.