Work it supermodel

No one can ever feel dowdy here. The culture is a fashion free-for-all; there are no wrong choices. Those childishly loud scrunchy socks look great with office attire; they would have earned a snicker back home. Pinafores, Puritan hemlines, and really wide cropped trousers are in abundance; not dorky at all. And Crocs, those bastard cousins of jelly sandals, seem to be the favored footwear.

Other fashion statements:

  • Moccasins and a full-length tulle skirt with a bomber jacket
  • Shorts (it’s January)
  • Low-hanging backpacks, the way they used to be worn in the 90s
  • Lots of Uggs, or imitations
  • Oversized sack-like dresses
  • The coordinated phone case and tote bag (panda motif)
  • The coordinated phone case and scarf (tartan)
  • Ripstop nylon, faux leather, and jorts
  • Velvet loafers with khakis
  • A neon beanie
  • A white fur jacket with bunny ears on the back, paired with Strawberry Shortcake tights
  • A guy dressed as a Power Ranger with a similarly tricked-out bicycle, blasting his own theme tune
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