Should You Quit Drinking Before You Go Through Something Terrible?

How I Quit Drinking to go Through Something (s) Wonderful (ly)

Ask Katie: Should I quit drinking right before I go through something terrible?

Dear Anxy Magazine and Katie MacBride:

Thank you for this piece. You inspired my words to wake up and flow today. In doing so, I found a moment of pause, reflection, affirmation, with a healthy dose of self-love and gratitude for getting myself to this space.

I am compelled to also respond to the question in your article by sharing part of me.

I believe that we often see something, read something, hear something — messages, exactly when we are supposed to. If we are not ready, our eyes may read words, but they don’t really sink in. When we are supposed to hear them, the message will find us and hopefully we are awake enough to truly see them. Someone out there is supposed to see this right now. So for that, I share… I hope you can hear me.

Life is hard.

There are joyful experiences and terrible experiences. Drinking can be associated with a reason to celebrate. Drinking can be associated with dealing with something hard. Drinking can be associated with pretty much everything in between.

To the person asking if they should stop drinking before something terrible, visualize yourself alcohol free. It’s six months from now and your grandmother has passed. You went through the process without boozing. You have dealt with every emotion. You have felt all the feels intensely.

Would you regret it? How do feel about yourself and your situation? Are you proud? Are you clearheaded? Do you carry shame for having been sober? Are you mad at yourself for “showing up” at the hospital and then “showing up for yourself” by not coping with booze at home in the evening? Visualize what you want.

Oh and PS. — terrible can happen anytime. We can’t plan it. Joy? Joy can also happen anytime. We can’t plan it. I will tell you this. When I visualized not to drinking, I focused on the negative stuff. The stuff I didn’t want to feel. I had no idea though how much positive stuff would flow without booze in the way.

Joy found me big time. I was clear headed enough to catch her.

Has anyone ever said, wow — dealing with my family member’s death last year would have been so much easier boozing? Because waking up with hangovers and struggling to get through the next painful day would have been better than the way I did it? Sober?

Did anyone ever say, during a random middle of a typical day my child’s school nurse called, there was a health emergency with my kid that day. Looking back, I wish I had been drinking that day — it would have been easier to deal with all that if I had not been clear headed?

How many people say, I had this little tiny tiff with my partner, and we got through it really quickly and moved on, but dang-it, I wish we would have been trashed because then it would have been an all out rage fest at each other — so much more healthy and enjoyable?

Do people often say, I was in such better shape and had way more energy when I was drinking a ton?

You know what I do hear people legit say a lot? It’s easy to quit drinking, I do it all the time!

My suggestion for anyone thinking of stopping, wanting to stop, can visualize stopping, is to consider what Katie MacBride asks. Just for today, for this moment, for this hour, can you not drink?

For this moment, for this hour, not this. No. I am not drinking today.

While I have never been a raging alcoholic, this doesn’t matter, I am not drinking today.

While I’m not sure AA would ever work for me- though I’ve dropped there and NA, this doesn’t matter, I’m not drinking today.

While this summer I was only having a glass or two of wine, this doesn’t matter I’m not drinking today.

While I’ve only sometimes felt the amount I drank was dangerous, the cocktail I added it too was hella fucked up scary in years prior. I am not drinking today.

While I never even drank all the time married therefore never associated myself as a big drinker, this doesn’t matter. I am not drinking today.

Though single parenting made drinking a bad habit I could eassssiiiilllyyy stop, this doesn’t matter, today I’m not drinking.

Though drinking didn’t disrupt my job, that doesn’t matter, today I’m not drinking.

There will never be a “good time” to stop, an ideal time to change. That’s a thing, a line, an excuse — we can use for anything for the rest of our lives.

I used the excuse this is the last time to justify taking “one last” for so many things, so many times.

How many heroine addicts think one last bang? Coke users, one last line. Sex addicts, one last time? Me? Sugar binging post not drinking — one last 3 musketeers, this is the last time ever!

Sigh.

I was so close to going weeks without alcohol I could taste it. But there was no way I could go 48 hours without a glass of wine. 72 hours? Forget it. Impossible!

Fear was in the way.

Everything I wanted was on other side of fear.

Too many days of promising myself 48 hours of no booze and too many excuses preventing me from getting to that goal. I kept thinking about the line I wear on my MantraBand bracelet…

She believed she could, so she did.

I was actually starting to believe I couldn’t.

However — I had visions of me not drinking. I could see it. Feel it. I just had to get through the mountain size hurdle. The 72 hours roadblock. How could a week be reachable, but 72 hours not be touchable?

What’s in the way, is the way.

I developed a new mantra.

She didn’t believe she could, but she knew she WOULD. And that’s what made all the difference.

And it did. 50 days today alcohol free!

Get Inspired on Instagram.

A year ago I started following Holly Glenn Whitaker and Laura McKowen. Their Medium’s are not very active but their instagrams are, as well as their bogs, and podcasts.

Laura is her own brand and Holly’s is Hip Sobriety. They are breaking the stigma. I’m a single mom who struggles to find my local tribe. The suburban stay at home married moms love to do moms night’s out and get wasted and talk about their shitty lives where they feel stuck. No thanks! Laura and Holly gave me a doorway to connect with women locally and in cyber-world for support, connection, inspiration. I connected with so many of them last year and have been following and interacting every since. I never let myself feel like a fake, being an instagram follower, despite the fact I chose to drink. I never criticized myself. I just believed there was a reason I found this world, and I let myself sit in it’s powerful community and watch, observe, listen.

The mega empowering Instagram sister-tribe I had been connected with was there whenever I needed to see them over the last year. At the end of July, everything came together. The words, the messages, the intentions, the manifestations surrounding alcohol came together. Everything fit. Dots connected. July 31st, 2017 was the last day I had any alcohol. Not even one sip since then.

And guess what? Some terrible things have happened since them. And you know what? They would have been worse, would have escalated, guaranteed, had I been drinking.

The more amazing part? Some freaking fantastic things have happened since I stopped drinking! Things I’ve dreamt about, ideas in the back of my head, manifestations — have literally fallen in my lap!

Now, I am not only manifesting. I am receiving.

My journey is unfolding. It’s incredible to be a part of. I will look back at this past summer and remember this time always.

2016 = This is my year!

2017 = Supposed to be, This is my year 2.0! However Trumpression smacked me on the head into a downward spiral I had to claw and crawl my way out of.

August 2017 = Alignment!

September 2017 = Alignment and Creativity.

Here is What Worked for me to Not Booze Right Now.

1) became part of the instagram community of women not drinking be following each other.

2) read these two articles. They really stuck with me.

Hi, my Name is Holly. And I'm NOT an Alcoholic*. (*Because there is no such thing.)

Am I an Alcoholic?

3) on August 1st, 2017 my first day of not drinking — I reached out to some of these women via Direct Messaging on Instagram on their forums and asked them, how did you get through day 2 and 3?

4) made myself accountable by putting myself out there publicly on Instagram and Medium. I had not planned to, but my words are stronger then me. My inner guide knew what I needed. To admit it, within the first 48 hours, is what kept me going to get to 72 hours.

5) I continued and continue to write about it. I don’t use the word sober. I use the words Alcohol Free. I have my issues. It’s a process.

I have never ever felt so authentic, so honest, so raw, so open, so trusting, both with myself and with the world — as the past year.

So, will I drink tomorrow? Something terrible might happen. Something joyful might happen.

It doesn’t matter. I am not drinking today.

This piece also came out of me until I had nothing left to give.

Magic Tricks

Indhira, Michelle Le, Madison Kahn, Bobbie Johnson, Kati Krause, Jennifer Maerz, Katie MacBride thanks to all of you for signing on to a pretty stellar looking operation to break the stigma and bringing important issues up to the front lines with Anxy Magazine This is good good true heart work!

How can I get this to the person who asked the question?

Nothing but love!

Stay Fierce 💃