To my people trying to figure it all out
I don’t think you’ve given yourself enough credit. I don’t know how you do it. People have a hard enough time figuring their lives out in general. When you put an illness that tells you you’re not worth anything on top of it, it seems nearly impossible to find your way. So the fact that you have made it this far, is a testament to your resilience, and truly warrants a round of applause.
I just wish you could see a few things from my eyes.
I wish you could see how your life, and your existence, lights up the world for others. You give so much to those who are fortunate enough to encounter your being. I wish you could see that you’re wanted, in fact, you’re needed. There may have been people in your past who walked away for any number of reasons. You may feel as though you are unworthy of love because of that. And for that, I’m truly sorry. You don’t deserve such hurt and betrayal. But they are missing out. This was their loss. They won’t have the honor of seeing you finish the beautiful journey that you’ve started. I stand by my statement that if the world had more people like you, it would truly be a better place. I can assure you that my life is better because of your existence.
I wish you weren’t so hard on your appearance. I wish you could see that you’re stunning. And when you look in the mirror, I wish you could believe it. There is no two ways around it, you are absolutely striking. It only takes one glance for people to see that you’re utterly gorgeous. And if anyone has said otherwise, they were dead wrong. I know that isn’t easy to believe, trust me I do. But even if you’ve been wearing the same shirt for the past three days, haven’t put on the makeup you feel you need, or have tears streaming down your face, you will continue to remain beautiful to me.
I wish you could give yourself permission to not be perfect or happy at all times. You are allowed to have days where you choose to remain in bed and cry, even when you have one thousand and one other things to do. You are allowed to make mistakes, and plenty of them. The battle you’re fighting is arduous, so allow yourself some leeway. You’re doing all that you can to get through each and every day, a fact that doesn’t go unnoticed. And if you’re having a difficult day, I don’t expect you to be happy. You are allowed to feel however you feel, and know that I will love you just the same.
I wish you could love yourself for all parts of you, even the parts of you that you dislike. You are human. A perfectly imperfect human. And your imperfections and areas of vulnerability don’t decrease your value. In fact, they make you unique, interesting, and intriguing. And I surely know the acceptance of flaws doesn’t happen overnight but, take comfort in knowing that someone wants to know those parts of you. I know I sure do.
Now maybe you don’t believe these things, or believe me when I say them. And maybe the pieces are there but, they haven’t quite clicked. Either way, the pieces will come together soon enough. I can assure you of that. I won’t stop telling you all that I see in you, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. One day you will see all that you can be. But until then, be proud of where you are now, and what you’ve done up until this point. Know that you’re exactly where you need to be. You are worthy and you absolutely matter. I find myself feeling a sense of gratitude everyday, because I know a human like you. And until you believe in all that you are, and all that you can be, I’ll hold the belief and the faith for you. That’s a promise.