CHANGING CONFIDENCE TO A GOAL SETTING
Belief is important. Erich Fromm (1953) states that to have faith requires courage, the ability to take risks, the willingness to accept suffering and disappointment. Anyone who is committed to security and safety as the main conditions of life cannot ignore belief.
However, this courage is very different from the courage that Mussolini blogged when he defined it as ‘life in danger’. That type of courage is nihilistic courage. It is rooted in a destructive attitude towards life, in its desire to get rid of life. This is because the person is unable to love that life. Courage to despair is the opposite of courage to love, just as faith in power is the opposite of faith in life.
Are there other things that need to be practiced about faith and courage? Of course, faith can be practiced at every opportunity. It is necessary to have faith in raising children; need the confidence to sleep; need the confidence to start work. But we are used to having this type of belief. Anyone who does not have it will suffer anxiety (too worry) about his child, or will suffer from insomnia, or will be unable to do any productive work; or he will be suspicious, will stay away from anyone, or be moody, or cannot make long-term plans.
It is necessary to have the confidence to attach a decision about someone even though public opinion or facts seem not to validate it. To attach to people’s believes even though they are not popular requires confidence and courage. It is also necessary to believe to make difficulties, setbacks, and tears of life a challenge that needs to be waded. That is to make us stronger, rather than just regard it as an unfair punishment on us, and we surrender.
Practicing faith and courage starts with the small details of our lives. The first step is to record when and where we lose our beliefs, see through the rationalization used to rediscover our lost beliefs, to recognize where we are acting in a cowardly way, and again how we rationalize it. We must be able to investigate into ourselves how betrayal of that belief will weaken us, and how increasing weakness leads to new betrayal, and so on. Once known, then we will be able to break the vicious circle.
Thus, the problem of self-confidence is a matter of self. How does the self believe in itself, first of all is the hanging of ideals (goal setting) or life goals. These ideals can also be broken down into stages. For example, the stages of schooling and lectures are graduating with good grades. After that is the stage of work. Etc. It is believed that by having ideals in our hearts, we will achieve them in various ways.
People often feel like a failure in life when their academic career is late, stunted, or stumbling. Academic failure sometimes makes people frustrated. But keep in mind that life is not just an academic problem. Students who are not academically good, might be good in attitude or in motoric abilities. For example, they are more capable in the field and in what has to do with handwork.
Listen to what Kahlil Gibran said, “None of you can be called a fool, because actually we are not fools, nor wise. We are all the flower buds of life, and life is superior to all wisdom — and also ignorance. “
Therefore, we must trust ourselves, more than we trust other people or other people trust us.