2023/08/09; Random Thought About False Sense of Productivity
Why do I tend to be super productive at the wrong things, especially when the deadline is getting near? (this writing is a direct example of that condition).
I know there’s no such thing as being productive at the wrong things — it’s just that I’m bad at sorting priorities.
I should start getting ready for tomorrow morning’s meeting with my thesis supervisor, but, hello guys! What a nice evening to sit down, enjoy a nice cup of coffee, and talk about productivity (what an irony).
In 2019, Charlotte Lieberman wrote a NY Times article titled ‘Why You Procrastinate (It Has Nothing to Do With Self-Control)’. She said the reason why procrastinating made us feel so bad is the self-awareness. How are we aware that it’s a bad idea to avoid those tasks yet we choose to do them anyway.
By the way, I wrote this piece of writing, not to comprehensively trying to talk about procrastination in such a detailed manner–I’m just trying to actually finish something in front of my laptop aside from my final thesis document & defence presentation– but rather to do some quick session of self reflect (that I know won’t do any favour to actually get my main responsibilities done).
These past 1,5 years are one of the most productive phases in my life. I’ve tried so many new things and new routines. I’ve tried to be more serious in so many interests in my life like photography, literature, film, cooking, etc BUT my thesis. And deep down I always knew the reason that lies behind all of those busy days; I felt stuck. I felt stuck and frustrated, so being productive on other things gave me that false sense of achieving things. Because I believe that it’s better to feel relieved from completing small tasks than felt frustrated every single day because of the main problem that hasn’t been solved. I know that there are so many factors out there that also contribute to this matter, but I felt that I need to find some distraction in order not to be stuck in that slump any further.
I already know what’s the reason for me to act like this. I also know what I have to do (of course I can’t keep on running away like this). But why it’s so hard for me to just start doing things that I have to do? Why it’s so hard for me to accept the fact that there’s always a possibility of failing that I have to face anyway?
All I need is just a flick of bravery–I don’t know when I will find that switch. Or what things that will trigger me to turn the switch on. There are always these underlying feelings of fear that I felt every day when I wake up–1,5 years is definitely not a short period of time, but I still believe that it’s better to be late than never… I hope that time will come soon.
Source:
Lieberman, C. (2019) Why you procrastinate (it has nothing to do with self-control), The New York Times. Available at: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/25/smarter-living/why-you-procrastinate-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-self-control.html (Accessed: 09 August 2023).
