How To Spark Up Conversation With Anyone As Introvert
Learn the key principle behind all the chit chat tactics taught in business and dating courses
Being an Introvert in business world where networking is a big part of success may look like a daunting career mismatch. The same problems arise when we talk about other areas of life that include communication with others, such as dating — but there is no reason for despair.
If something as simple as chatting to a stranger on bus is one of the hardest tasks in the world for you, then there are at least 2 things you need to fix:
- You need to accept your nature: you simply feel good in your own company at times and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
- After you establish this mindset, you will be ready to improve your social skills. Below I will elaborate the principle behind your improvement.
If you are like me, the chances are you were hard on yourself at some point but beating yourself down will not bring any good however.
Realization that you are not scared of people, but yourself and the impression you might leave on others is crucial for shifting the mindset in a good direction. But i will stop rambling before you lose interest because i got very important insight to share with you…
The best way to start and maintain a conversation is to ask good questions.
Yes. It is stupidly simple and Its a lot harder than it looks. How so? Because it requires you to think.
Learning the skill of asking good questions can transform your social life and career in unimaginable ways. High quality and well thought question packs so much power and communicative potential that it can spark up whole discussions and lead the talk in various directions.
Robert Kiyosaki said in his legendary book ¨Rich dad, poor dad¨: By asking the question How can I afford it? your brain is put to work. This way you are set on finding a solution rather than tiring your brain with doubts. Next time, when you get into a situation where you want to start a convo with a potential client, or a pretty girl,ask yourself: How can I ask a good question that will make him/her talk to me?
Jordan Belfort, one of the greatest salesmen that ever lived and the notorious Wolf of Wall Street, said that the way to sell is to ask the right questions that will generate valuable information, which you can use later as a material to close the sale. In you case, you want to ask good questions that will broaden your knowledge about the other person so you can use it to keep the talk going on.
What is a high quality question and how to create it?
Dull question is like a dead end street — it leads nowhere. On the other side, if you put in an effort and think a bit, your question can open 5 more topics to talk about. That’s why it is so important to learn how to make a good opener.
Good question is like a prism. One beam(one inquiry) goes through the person's mind, and ends up in many directions. This way, you can choose which one you want to take and continue.
To create it, you need to analyze what you already have, and then find a crack in a person's field of interests. Well crafted question is smart and simple, and it opens up that crack — the need to speak about what the person is interested in but unsure whether others will like it.
Your goal is to convince them that you are interested in the topic they like so they are happy to talk about it with you.
So, for instance, if person you want to strike up the conversation with likes fishing, you will come up to them and start with¨I didn’t know you like fishing. How did you get into it?¨. After this, the person will probably sneak in a proud grin before he starts talking about his childhood memories and the time he spent on the river with his dad.
Be genuinely interested in other person’s story. If you only pretend, the conversation will end up awkward because you will not know what to say.
Final thoughts
There are countless quotes from other famous people that emphasize the importance of asking good questions. It would probably take me another 3 good hours to put them here, but you got the point.
After all, any kind of improvement starts with asking better questions, because better questions lead to better answers. Wouldn’t you agree?
Thank you for taking the time to read this story! Anyways…
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