So I Promise I’m Not Being Creepy, But? :
A Finder’s Guide to Admiring Pretty Girls on the Train Without Being A Creep.
Okay, the title lied. This is in no way, shape or form a guide of any kind. The fact is, I have absolutely no clue how to go about being a genuine admirer of beauty without coming off as the creepiest person alive.
I think every person (especially NYC subway riders) has been in a situation where they happen to look up from whatever was preoccupying them before to catch a glimpse of a person who is aesthetically breathtaking. As a person who is constantly looking for moments and stories, this happens to me at least twice a week. I’ll be “tuned in to my surroundings” trying to be extrospective (I know that’s not really a word, but it makes sense) and all of a sudden my eyes’ll catch some beautifully stunning girl. The first thing that always happens…the first thought that pops into my mind is always, “LOOK AWAY! DON’T BE A CREEP!” And I’ll honestly try. I’ll turn up the volume of whatever song I’m listening to. I’ll attempt to start writing. I’ll try to focus on any and everything else going on in the train car. But it’s like some type of pretty-girl magnetism takes over and my eyes will keep on going back to her. Then eventually my eyes will do some type of stuck-on-stupid stare and I’ll catch myself becoming lost in her features.
Now trust me, I am fully cognizant of how horrible it must feel to be oggled by some random person. How can someone know the difference between a glance of genuine and innocent admiration (😇👈) and a predatory stare. The lines are pretty blurry. And Lord knows that I never was (and probably never will be) a fan of the random cat call. “Ay yo, ma,” is nowhere in my lexicon. Not only do I think it’s a corny thing to do, but even if it was some how acceptable, I don’t personally think I’d have the swag to pull it off. But how does she know I’m not that type of guy? Moreover, how do I know that my eyes aren’t giving off that exact “ay yo” vibe that I so dread actually saying?
Am I thinking too much? I tend to do that…a lot. One of the reasons I think I enjoy looking for stories externally so much is that it allows me to get out of my own head for a few moments. It’s a vacation from my usual introspective and overly-existential self to explore life from a perspective that I imagine someone else having. But what happens when surfing external moments leads to being trapped in some weird pretty-girl web?
Sometimes I wish life were like The Sims and knowing the probability of a romantic connection was as simple as looking at a levitating meter above the person’s head. But we all know it isn’t. So I’m left with a choice. Do I turn up my music, shut my eyes and hope that when I open them again the pretty girl of the day has disappeared into the day? Or do I throw precaution to the wind and crack a smile, even if it’s at the risk of maybe being a bit creepy?