Diagnosing azoospermia or ‘zero sperm count’

I was quick to shrug off our fertility issues as being being male-factor. Like many no doubt, I considered fertility to be firmly in the woman’s health domain.

While my wife explored her concerns and the general markers for female fertility with her GP, I became more aware that causes of infertility amongst couples is equal: 1/3 male, 1/3 female, and 1/3 unexplained.

With this fact firmly on my mind, I sought refuge in an over the counter semen analysis kit from my local pharmacy – ‘SpermCheck’.

I didn’t do it straight away owing to a period of abstinence being required – which proved difficult when you’re trying to conceive! When I finally got around to it, the significance dawned on me, as I sat on the bathroom floor – vulnerable – awaiting a solid black like to appear; in the balance was my vitality, my masculinity, my sole male purpose. All I needed was to meet the World Health Organisation’s recognised standard of 15 spermatozoa per ML – easy!

I waited…and waited…longer than the required two minutes. No line came, but tears instead. And the awful reality dawned on me as I explained to my wife that I may never be able to father the children we had been imagining in our lives.

Our next step was requesting a ‘proper’ semen analysis via my GP – who seemed to think fertility was an amusing topic. With no sensitively, he completed a yellow form, gave me a sample cup and sent me away with a telephone number to make arrangements with the local hospital. For which I’ll cover off the indignity of semen analysis within the NHS in my next post.