HARD TIME TO TURNAROUND, THEREFORE TO APPRECIATE IS TO LIVE.
Sometimes in life you get hit really hard, pushed around by emotions and find yourself questioning everything you’re doing. We grieve because we’re human, it’s natural to feel pain; but we must turn that grief into something effective, something that makes all that hurt a little more accepted and a little less painful.
The past week and a half has been a cyclone of emotion, picking up all the sadness and disappointment and leaving you to do nothing but question the wrongs of life and the path of your own. To hear the passing of a best friend, a friend who took every challenge on with a smile, a woman who carried inspiration everywhere she went, an angel so positive that it left an ominous cloud of guilt hovering above my head. It was dark, sad and made me look everywhere but up. I was left questioning why someone who deserved to live wild and free was taken away so young and loving.
It was at that point when the sun shone. All the lightbulbs were on and my brain started bursting with ideas, ideas that would lead me to satisfaction, accomplishing tasks that mattered to me. Whether great or small, these ideas would ultimately satisfy my happiness, quench my selfish thirst for fun. That’s what she would have hoped I’d work out, however funnily enough when my mother asked what advice Tay would give me I replied, ‘Probably roll me a joint and tell me to chill out’. She had that calming nature about her, one you always wanted to be with.
At first I started listing and planning ideas because of the guilt that had uncovered. I had some rough ideas of where my travels would lead me in the coming months, but the sad news got me thinking, had me reevaluating my options , my travels were left perpetuated through inadvertence. It was as if I was disappointed in myself for not knowing what I wanted to do because the life of the person I looked up to had sunk. Now although her ship had sailed away, her legacy was more afloat than ever. To live freely, to live wild and to do what you need to do to get to the next fun stage in your life. One of many things we had in common was that we’re not ones who like to get tied down to anything, we’re adventurous and keen for raw experiences. Now I believe she had the upper hand as I was the one looking up to her but I now want to stand tall for the both us. No longer do I want to worry about what I could be doing, it is the moment that matters, because it is that moment and that experience that gets you to the next one. You can’t skip forward in life and just lap up the good times, you must earn your freedom and thirst for travel. Therefore to appreciate is to live!!
Thank you for reading.
King regards Fin.