Before I Leave

I would like to say a few words in the gentlest manner possible.

We both know that past chapters in your life have the capacity to behave like unruly demons, beyond your control. In truth, the only thing surprising about this situation is how well you have dealt with it. Holding your head high, with a graceful poise that many with far lesser issues would do well to imitate.

I understand that I, as a large man whose default facial expression does not evoke rainbows and sunshine, may cause you to feel unsafe. Whether the voice of warning that speaks to you is conscious or unconscious, let me make one thing clear:

I don’t blame you

My intentionally inflicting mental or physical harm upon you, or anybody else, is as likely to happen as my growing back a full head of hair. But good intentions on my part cannot be separated from your personal reality.

I don’t take it personally when you abruptly cancel, suddenly change itinerary, or even forget to let me know what’s happening at all! There’s no need for long apologies and explanations. Such gracious politeness may just be the type of person you are. However, you must remember that I am a roughly-hewn scrapper of a guy, and not used to apologies. Never mind the fact that I sincerely believe you have earned the right to stop apologizing.

I think that your friendship is a valuable commodity indeed, and therefore should command a high premium. A little patience now and again is a very small thing to have to trade in for some of your time. The only disappointment that comes from a broken engagement is that I miss the enjoyment of your company.

It is a personal disappointment of a kind. But it’s never angry, nor will I ever hold it against you or consider you a lesser person for it.

Having said all of that, may I now cap things off by stating that I am immensely looking forward to seeing you after I have arrived.

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