Saying, “Goodbye.”

There isn’t much time left. I know this, because I see you quietly saying, “Goodbye” to those around you. Like a lot of people, I suppose, I’m not really ready to let go and say the words myself. Somehow it’s easier just to write it down.

There’s a crack in my heart, and bits are breaking off. I will miss you so much when you are gone. We all will. But I’ve decided. I’m not walking around with that hole in me. I’m going to patch up that splinter. And I’m going to fill it with bits of you.

Some of the things I’ll take from you are simple, most of them are profound. I got them from our time together, and I’m selfishly keeping them. Using them as glue and mortar.

Like your laugh. When I feel sadness creeping in, I’m going to hear your laugh. And while I’m at it, I’ll see that megawatt smile. The one you never hold back, in spite of it all. And no matter what, I’ll be sure to find something I can laugh or smile at.

Or your willingness to share. All of it. You let us see you in the most authentic way. When I feel like closing out the world and just retreating, I’ll remember you, sitting in your car, with your iPhone, eyes locked on us all, speaking your truth. And I’ll be real with those that matter. Really, real. You gave me that.

Don’t get me started on determination. If I ever find myself in a fight, a really big one… One that I’m not sure I can win… I’ll put my fists up and say, “HELL NO! I’m not going down without a fight!” You showed me how to do that. Even now, when you realize you aren’t going to be able to stay with us, you will go on your own terms.

And faith. Faith is different for us all. But your faith is such a force. To see you draw on that… and then share it with everyone around you. It is inspiring. When I feel doubt creeping over me, it will stop at my heart… because part of my heart will be patched up with your faith.

Love. You have so much love, Terry. A million people could take a cup and you’d still have some to spare. And all of us who know and love you are going to keep some of that. We’re going to share it with each other. We’re going to surround your family with it. But they won’t really need our small share. Because most of your love is already with them. It always will be. And in moments, when they need it, I know your love will find them. They’ll feel it. It will soak into their hearts and you’ll be right there.

Thank you for all of these gifts.

I love you.

I am going to miss you like hell.

Goodbye, my beautiful friend.