The shy Man and his fear of women

Few things works and many instead of helping, only damage

We raised this issue several times, but always is requested so i face it again, remanding those dulls of hearing that introversion and shyness are two characteristics sometimes contemporaneous, but completely different: one holds us up, to block us; the other one can help us to go(if we know how to use it)

Sometimes I’m amazed to read in disbelief the most diverse advice given to the most timid men, like:

“Imagine her, just awake… so she will not be as beautiful on earth and you will bring her back to your level, ending the problem.”

Now, it’s true that women are not to be overly idealized as we have seen many times; however I don’t know who are the ones who write advice like that, perhaps they see women with a lot of make-up and seem goddesses only by night, when the poor light, high consumption of alcohol and the night feel like rising with each passing hour may seem goddesses even the ugliest ones.

I say this because women that I see and frequented in the morning just awake without make-up and with relaxed face are even more beautiful: much more beautiful…

I say it again, though I’ve already written before, with the true shyness little can be done in seduction, it limits too much and make us insecure and unable to dare, not just the few times we try due to inexperience or have waited too much is easy to fail gloriously the timing of our actions; wich has negative results that strengthen even more the blocks of shy person.
 As soon as possible we must evolve from timid(which is almost pathological) to Introverts(healthy condition shared by a third or more human being); only then we will find our Seducers Introverts Road and we will have our beautiful successes.

Wishing we can also classify people into four broad categories according to the degree of orientation towards the inside or the outside:

  • The Shy
  • The Introverted
  • The Extroverted
  • The Clown

It’s easy to understand that every time we go to extremes(shy or clown) we have the same negative issues pushing people away rather than attract them.
 The various intermediate stages, this is an oversimplification, have each their strength and weakness, but they are still able to attract a large number of “healthy” women, each with its weapons and methods.

As in the title of this post I used the word “shyness” and I just said he can not really seduce until he reaches the top step of Introverted, let’s see which he who is lost in this limbo can find his own way out of the labyrinth.

By eliminating the nonexistent goddesses ugly in the morning(but how do they think this things, perhaps the real goddesses they haven’t ever met them…), and other unlike remedies, for example seeing yourself super-beautiful or thinking positive(please kill me…), there are mainly two ways, or rather two ways I’m writing about in this post, but in reality there are many others. The first is force yourself to interact with women in every possible way, just a little, dance class, theater and other activities where women are in large numbers, will ensure that the forced constant interaction lowers shyness by few degrees. Unfortunately in the long run is a palliative, since it does not lower shyness towards stranger, but increases the degree of confidence with a wider circle of people and in particular with women present in such an environment chosen by us. For some of the less shy this little gimmick is enough and I have seen it happen in a few months/years extraordinary changes in people:

boys or men of thirty, forty or more with ZERO social life, wich first slowly and then inexorably increasing speed have completely changed their habits and above all attitudes, some of them even exaggerating in the opposite way.

The second and final method, which we will see it also act subtly in the first case, is to increase your self-confidence, there is no other and more secure system. Now as positive thinks, is better than negative thinking, that alone is not enough to make real and stable changes in the outside world, otherwise we will all be billionaires getting oral sex a the poolside all day long, while overnight we go to have fun to distract us from the hard work of the day…

Back on earth, let’s see how to act concretely to switch between introversion and shyness in order to be able to use this weapon in seduction; many and diverse that we can match and exceed smoothly many extroverts.

I said that it was also the basis of the first method, let’s see how it has acted by taking for example a dance course: our timid, to the limit of the social misfit who cannot interact with a woman in the normal way, except maybe women’s friends with whom he fall in love with, since they are the only ones with whom he can speak to beyond seven seconds, decides, to try convinced perhaps by another friend: the beginning is hard, many do better than him, of course taking the best women to dance and so it goes coming to think of quitting, as his condition worsens, but he paid six months and fortunately goes on. Slowly, not skipping the dancing courses he improves(he paid and wants to take advantage of all), while the extrovert maybe because the busy schedule comes when he remembers it and then slowly our shy guy realizes that begins to dance pretty well, the same women who first avoided him now they seek him or even ask him to dance. The months or years pass and here come other women that are totally unable to move or dance, so his self esteem increases every day… he can dance almost like a little master. He built up the skills, deciding to invest more time and resources: more courses, more information much more dancing class hours and especially more social outlets for dancing. After a couple of years or even before he has totally changed his personality, at least when he is in such an environment feeling like a little star, but usually the high security hand having hard positive results also have beneficial effects in completely disconnected areas of his life.

It is not the dance itself that changes him, but the best perception he has of himself and especially higher self-esteem in circumstances where is easy to deal fairly and objectively evaluated, plus first forced major and natural social interaction, automatically improves his social skills(remember, the “natural” does not exist).

I used the dance as an example, I could use theater, acting, improvisation, or a thousand other things, enough is there is strong interaction with women.
 While self-esteem is a change of perception, that is how we see it, it as also true that the mere thought is not enough, as we have seen the real improvement in some areas of our lives must happen; the improvement must be in fields of life as adults, fields in which women can appreciate us and for this choose us among others.

As I have often said to those who have no particular problems and is only limited from time to time from his being introvert, a decided improvement in the way they dress, creating a Look that works, that really attracts women(not the fashion crap or phantomatic designer) is usually condition to trigger a substantial improvement; for more cases of shyness improvements must take place at a deeper level, be consciously incorporated by the brain like real, solid, lasting; first to begin to produce beneficial effect in everyday life.
 But we’ll talk further…

Sergio sergio@fireofman.com or

fireofman@fireofman.com

fireofman.com


Originally published at fireofman.com on April 20, 2017.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.