Turn Your Circumstances into Fuel to REACH Your Goals But Most Won’t (Here’s Why)
Transforming Tragedy into Triumph for Unyielding Success in 2023
She died way too young — only 34 years old.
She wasn’t just anyone; she was Lawrence’s wife.
Coping with the loss of a significant other takes an emotional toll. That toll, however, is drastically compounded when you add kids to the equation.
They had four children, with their oldest being 11 and their youngest only 4.
As bad as Lawrence’s situation was, it was about to get a lot worse. But first, let me tell you about Turkey (from yesterday’s email).
Lawrence and his wife had dreams. Like many young couples, they would spend hours talking about the places they would one day travel to.
They dreamed about the things they’d see, the cultures they’d experience, and the history they’d be immersed in together. Turkey was at the top of their list.
Then, as life often does, it threw them a curveball — cancer.
So when I heard that tired and strained voice on the other end of the phone, I knew Lawrence had finally fulfilled part of their dream during this trip to Turkey. This trip was for her, it was for them.
It was during this call from Turkey that Lawrence first mentioned the Question|Excuse Loop to me.
The situation I found myself in at that time was tough — the FBI Investigation, and doctors trying to kill my business.
I was the victim of the Question|Excuse Loop and Lawrence was wise enough to pick up on it.
Oh, how I wish I had known and understood the Question|Excuse Loop before I went through those situations.
None of the questions I was asking myself were empowering. All of them led to excuses.
You may be thinking, “Yeah Wayne, given your circumstances at that time, it’s completely understandable.” I won’t argue.
But just because something is understandable doesn’t make it useful or beneficial, particularly when it comes to reaching your goals in 2023.
With almost half of 2023 behind us, it would be a good time to take inventory of the progress you’ve made toward your goals.
You’re only in one of three places when it comes to your goals; on track, ahead of where you should be, or behind where you should be.
Which is it?
If you’re on track or ahead of where you should be, congratulations! Keep pushing forward. No need for you to keep reading. Get back to pursuing those goals!
But if you’re still reading, I’m going to assume you’re behind where you know you should be. Congrats! Not for being behind on your goals, but for being honest. I’m about to challenge you.
You want to reach your goals, right?
Then why are you behind where you should be? Stop reading and make a list of all the reasons why you’re behind on your goals.
Done? Now look at that list.
How does it make you feel? Do you find comfort in that list? Be radically honest with yourself.
The truth is, the words on that paper are excuses — excuses you made, excuses you tolerate, excuses you must kill if you’re going to reach your goals. I get it. Your list is valid. It’s legit. There are real obstacles on your list, things outside of your control. But they are all excuses, period.
No, I don’t know your exact circumstances. No, I don’t know how unfair things are in your life. But it doesn’t matter. It wasn’t fair that the FBI investigated my company back in 2013.
We had always operated in the most ethical manner possible and never broken any laws. But I still found myself and my company in the middle of an FBI investigation.
And if an unjust FBI investigation wasn’t unfair enough, when the two doctors who owned our largest competitor found out about it, they began spreading rumors all throughout town.
They told others we were running some form of a Ponzi scheme, stealing money from our clients. They told others we wouldn’t be in business much longer, and not to work with us. It was ugly, unfair, and all outside of my control.
No, I didn’t have a choice about the FBI investigation. No, I didn’t have a choice about my competitors spreading vicious, untrue rumors. No, I didn’t have a choice as to whether or not others believed the lies.
The only choice I had wasn’t even clear to me at the time, at least not until Lawrence’s call from Turkey and his explanation of the Question|Excuse Loop.
My choice was simple; Do I let these circumstances, all of which were outside of my control, become excuses?
Or do I turn these circumstances into fuel that propels me to reach my goals? I wish I could say I chose the latter, but I didn’t.
I fell into the Question|Excuse Loop.
You have two options; hold dearly to your list of excuses (which is full of valid reasons) or reach your goals by killing your excuses.
If you’re still reading, you’re likely saying one of two things to yourself; “I choose to get rid of my excuses and reach my goals” or “Wayne just doesn’t understand how bad my current situation is.” Am I right?
I mean, who in their logical mind thinks, “I’d rather hold on to my excuses than reach my goals”? No one.
So, if you thought, “Well, Wayne just doesn’t understand how bad my current situation is,” you’re right, I don’t.
Your circumstances may be far worse than an unjustified FBI investigation and two doctors trying to kill your business. Great! That’s right, great!
To reach your goals this year, you MUST choose to make your circumstances fuel, but I doubt you will.
You read that right. I doubt you’ll be able to turn your situation into fuel.
Not that I don’t believe in you. I do. Not that I don’t think you’re a great person. I do. But I also know the crippling power of the Question|Excuse Loop.
Most people simply don’t have the willpower to break free from it.
Most give up. I would have. Ugly Mug Marketing would be dead. And that would have been sad, but not as sad as letting a portion of my dreams die.
You see, if it hadn’t been for Lawrence’s call from Turkey, I can almost guarantee I would have chosen to allow my circumstances to control my life and ultimately kill my business.
Which leads me to a minivan with a busted transmission or a man on a horse. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.
P.S. — Who’s calling you from Turkey? Who’s holding you accountable for reaching your full potential?
Be honest with yourself — who? Not someone who believes in you, not someone who encourages you.
I mean someone who is brutally honest with you, someone who tells you the things you don’t want to hear but must hear if you’re going to reach your goals.
Who’s pushing you past your comfort zone? Let that question sit with you for a few minutes.
P.P.S. — As if dealing with the loss of his wife wasn’t difficult enough, less than 6 months after her passing, life served Lawrence another blow. He lost his job.
Put yourself in his shoes for a minute. You have four young kids. You lose your wife after a long, grueling battle with cancer.
You’re now a single dad, and you lose your job. As you can imagine, Lawrence knew firsthand how devastatingly powerful the grip of the Question|Excuse Loop can be.
