What I learned not drinking for two years
Andy Boyle
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Coincidently, this exact article (save the diner name, originally it was the Throatsbottom Pub in Lower Slaughter) was first written in English in 1534 by an ancestor of Andy, William Boyle. Over the years, this precise text has appeared in various languages perhaps only a dozen times, but thematically identical texts have appeared in at least four hundred million instances.