#Just Started

Fizza Mushtaq
Nov 1 · 2 min read

Just after I read the instructions for the project, my mind went blank and I couldn’t think of anything that I want to start but fearing its beginning. After a hard brain work I finally stopped at one point. I figured out one thing that I’m fearing the most for last few months. And I came to know that its the time to kick off that fear.

I’ve voluntarily worked with an organisation last year. When they opened their ambassadorship drive, I filled out the form. I was shortlisted for interview and got qualified for being an ambassador. Everything was going smooth except for their meeting timings but I still managed. Problem was raised when I was diagnosed with Obstructive Jaundice. I informed the organisation about my health but then their was a communication gap between us. I couldn’t show up in meetings and then I was not getting any e-mails from them. I e-mailed them but there was no response from their side.

I knew I was dropped out of their ambassador’s list and I should have personally gone to the office but I couldn’t. I wanted to go but a fear raised in me. Since then, this was one task that was not achieved due to fear.

And then getting this project, I knew I have to go and face what ever comes.

I set out 3 tasks to achieve my goal

1. get up early

2. reach office

3. talk to the focal person and get myself clear.

I completed the first 2 tasks and was ready for third but it couldn’t complete because the person I was happened to meet was not there in the office. I couldn’t wait more because I had lectures at university. So, I left from there.

The challenges I faced while going through this task was my fear that was so big that it took me 3 days to plan. One more thing was my extra busy schedule. It felt like all the things have become urgent and important and couldn’t be delayed. But still I managed to take first step towards my goal.

The overall experience was quite motivating. I’ve read, “anticipation is worse than reality” and now I’ve experienced this phrase too. I was anticipating that they all will give me cold, death stares for being irresponsible but nothing happened of that sort. They all knew me and behaved really normal or I should say it was very relaxing meet up. I don’t have the fear of facing the manager now and I’m sure I’ll not hesitate when I’ll meet him after my exams!!

Fizza Mushtaq

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