Why you should never eat out on Valentine’s Day

You should NEVER go out to dinner a nice restaurant on Valentine’s Day. Unless you like wasting money and being disappointed. Then you should definitely do it!

This isn’t just my deep-rooted skepticism about the commercial origins of this holiday. V-Day is the single busiest night for restaurants in the U.S. Here’s how it works at most of them.

An overpriced prix fixe menu of mediocre ingredients trumped up to look and sound super fancy. You don’t want to disappoint your partner or look cheap so you shell out way too much money for blah food and ho-hum service (did I mention how busy the restaurant and waitstaff will be?) and then you’ll be too full or tired or tipsy to get it on. (Another pro tip: have your sex first!).

There are 364 other nights of the year when you can get fancy. Do that instead. And maybe on Valentine’s Day, consider patronizing your favorite taco truck or the deli counter at your local supermarket or a Del Taco drive-through. Because any of those will be a better option than almost any restaurant.