There is nurture and there is nature in all of us parents. Don’t worry, it’s not all bad stuff. I learned to study hard from my parents. I also discovered their limitations and I overcame a few of them myself.
The thing is, they teach us not only by how they love, but on what they clearly do not do well. My father was always a cheapskate with his tools. I made sure to have decent tools for what I did. My father barely knew what went on inside a car.
Some of these things I tried to convey to my kids, and they don’t seem to understand it. But then my father tried to convey many things to me and I didn’t get it either.
So blaming parents for your own neuroses is a bit of a cop out. They did perpetrate some of them. But other things, well, maybe you just weren’t paying attention…