When I read your story, I detect a certain frantic intensity. It looks like you’re constantly trying to justify yourself with your self taught study and your experience. Your depressive episodes seem to happen when people don’t accept your work for what you feel it is.
Who are you really trying to justify yourself to?
I also noticed you following people and drifting a lot. What do you really like and what would you rather be doing? (Yes, I know you’re good at coding, but many are good at things they don’t like doing)
And what exactly are you trying to get away from in the Tech industry? Are you certain you won’t encounter whatever this is in your next endeavor?