A HOPELESS……...

The amazing thing about life is that you choose what you allow into it,you choose how things affect you and you choose how you react.Happiness is a choice.For a long time,happiness was not choice on my list,r so i thought.I used to think that only rich people could be rich as they had what it took.Money,Fame,Friends and whatever the hell people think the rich have.What i did not know was that the rich also cry.Based on this,i have a very peculiar view of love and what it meant.Love was for the rich people who could go on movies,go for coffee dates at coffee houses,take a road trip to an exotic place and so forth,and so forth.This became my idea of what made people love each other.A rich man could not love a poor man because they were incompatible…

I knew I would be rich some day but that was a day yet to come.For the time being,my dates were in at our home,near the fence where no one would spot us,or at church on Sundays where i would give the excuse that i was staying back for the youth meetings,or at the Kiosk where a soda and bun would do great.Gifting was never an option as money was not a luxury.

I have fallen in and out of love numerous times.I am the kind who loves and loves with my mind body and soul.People say i love foolishly but that is what love is supposed to be…that is how it was created to be before all this filth of commercialization.I once fell in love with a man who brought a whole new meaning of life me.He loved me for who i was and even what i wasn't.Iwasn't perfect,i was not stable,inside i knew i was damaged goods and he knew this but still saw me as a precious jewel.

K.was and still is his name.He knew me,he got me,he loved me,he encouraged me,he lifted me when i was down,he pushed me to heights that i never knew existed,he showed me the sun when the rain fell,he gave me hope when i had none,he taught me how to love in a whole new dimension.He walked into my world when the whole world walked out..

Today,………I am not sure where i stand but i know that if you have ever loved somebody so much that you would do anything for them,make that person you,because you deserve it.I know better now,but my heart is still foolish.It may take a while for the heart to agree with the mind.This man has been on that space for a long time and maybe it is high time they leave so that that space is occupied by someone else.Till then,i am going to be my own person,i choose to let happiness in.

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