The Road to Hell is Paved with Click Bait
Look, America, I’m not some ivory-tower intellectual (I’d like to think so sometimes) here to spit out jargon; I’ve jumped headlong into the dumpster fire that is political Twitter or X or what ever the hell its called just like the rest of you. I’ve got the emotional scars to prove it, as if we’ve all been in a bender of cognitive dissonance and outrage.
We’re at a fork in the road, my friends, and neither path has great Yelp reviews. The stakes? Think less “new iPhone release” and more “existential survival of a nation.”
Now, I could write up some AI-glossed Ten Commandments for the 21st Century — thou shalt not troll, thou shalt use renewable energy, thou shalt not use android. But let’s not kid ourselves: changing a Instagram bio doesn’t equate to changing hearts. This teetering tower of Babel we call ‘the United States’ was erected on the bedrock of debate, a bit of fisticuffs, and a grand illusion of egalitarianism we’ve yet to pull off.
Cut to today. We’ve swapped philosophical debates for hashtags and red and blue tribal badges. As if your entire moral character could be deduced from a lapel pin or a yard sign. Hell, we’ve reduced complex political discourse to a game of “Mortal Kombat” — Fatality by stereotype!
A decade ago, I voted for Obama while sweating through my fatigues in Afghanistan. And you know what? My platoon sergeant (Shaner) didn’t turn me into a pariah. Instead, the man shook his head and said, “Good on you.” As if to say, this chaos, this disagreement, is precisely the kind of ruckus our forefathers intended.
So why the hysteria? Why cancel or demonize someone over a sentence or even a word? Being offended is an American pastime, sure, but let’s keep it in the ballpark, not weaponize it to demolish careers. The spice of life isn’t just in variety; it’s in the downright absurdity and contradiction of human thought. Different angles, baby, that’s how you solve a Rubik’s Cube.
So listen, this might rattle your nerves, but put your pride on the shelf next to your self-help books and kale smoothie recipes. Crack open a beer, or roll a joint, a smile, or your mind — because if we don’t mix some compassion with our convictions, we’re not just on the road to hell, we’re in the express lane. And let me tell you, where we’re headed, there are no rest stops, no U-turns, and absolutely no bars on your cell phone. And there will also be blood. Lot’s of blood. Time to change course, folks. Before it’s too damn late.
