How to Manage Your Emotions — A Beginner’s Guide

Fliss Kay
Fliss Kay
Apr 17, 2017 · 5 min read

You know those times when something happens, and your first reaction is to Let. It. All. Out?

Yep, it feels pretty great, doesn’t it — for about two seconds. Then, the regret, guilt and embarrassment kick in, and you look around you and see all those judging/horrified/confused/amused faces.

How to Manage Your Emotions | Sweet Clean Living
How to Manage Your Emotions | Sweet Clean Living

Boy, have I been there — many, many times. And here’s the thing — that kind of reaction never (EVER) ends well — not in the short-term, and definitely not in the long-term.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t let it all out — gosh, you;d have to be an absolute saint to keep all that in — but what I am saying is, you need both a healthy outlet and to learn how to manage your emotions. Your mind (and body)n will definitely thank you for it!

So here you go:

The Sweet Clean Living Guide to Managing Your Emotions

First things first — a bit of explanation. You absolutely, 100% need to be able to express your opinions and thoughts — what you like, what bothers you and more.

The problem comes when and if you encounter a frustration — someone acts in an unpleasant way, or things don’t turn out the way they should — and this causes a blow up/sadness/self-doubt.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it until the end of time — you are only responsible for your actions, not other people’s. And therefore, even if someone else does something unpleasant, downright terrible or worse, it is not something you can control. You need to react appropriately, even if they’re acting inappropriately.

And here’s how:

How to Manage Your Emotions | Sweet Clean Living
How to Manage Your Emotions | Sweet Clean Living

Take Your Time

Like I said above — those two seconds where you blow off steam feel AMAZING, don’t they?

But think about the two seconds — five minutes — two years — afterwards, when all anyone remembers is not what someone did to cause your reaction, but your reaction itself? That doesn’t feel so great now, does it?

It does not, no sirree bob! And you know what else? What I’ve found with myself is that I actually think about the whole situation much more calmly and rationally when I’ve waited a little bit longer to react to something.

So here’s what you need to do: you need to give yourself time to react.

It requires a little bit of experimentation from you — you need to see how long it might take you for your thoughts to process, and for you to calm down.

Some general ways to give yourself time, is to take a deep breath, and react according to the situation you’re in.

Ok — so you’ve got through the first step, and reacted calmly and rationally — nice one.

But those emotions are still raging, and you need to do something with them.

Here’s what you do:

How to Manage Your Emotions | Sweet Clean Living
How to Manage Your Emotions | Sweet Clean Living

Find an Outlet

With managing your emotions, one of the trickiest parts is actually learning how to manage your emotions properly.

Anyone can train themselves to respond correctly to a situations (politicians do it all the time, well, for the most part anyway :P) but how do you manage your emotions in the part which comes afterwards?

You find an outlet.

Anything that can and will -

- (and yes, it does need to satisfy all three of these) will help you process what has happened, and start you thinking about how to respond (eventually and only when the time is right).

Some of my favorite ways to let off steam are:

But really — find what works for you, and use this to help you.

Ok — so now we’re calm, but we’re still not quite ready to respond calmly and rationally (if you are, then I take my hat off to you!). But now, we need to:

How to Manage Your Emotions | Sweet Clean Living
How to Manage Your Emotions | Sweet Clean Living

See the Bigger Picture

When learning how to manage your emotions, it’s almost like you need to reprogram yourself.

Because, the process isn’t just about reacting properly and calming down: it’s also about understanding the cause of why another person/situation affected you like this, and also what caused them/it to be the way they are.

This one is a simple step to describe, but much, much harder to put into practice — you need to see the bigger picture.

Questions to ask yourself include:

Again, this takes a lot of practice. Start little by little and it will become a more natural way of thinking in the future.

Now that we’ve reacted, calmed down and pieced together what happened and why, and how it affects us, it’s now time to reply, react again or take care of the overall situation.

I guarantee you’ll come out overall feeling much better about yourself, and calmer too.

    Fliss Kay

    Written by

    Fliss Kay

    I live the sweet, clean life — and blog about it! is all about clean and healthy living, personal development and mental health.