Dangerous Daydreams

“If you can dream it, you can do it!”

Apparently, not really. In the world of self-help gurus, visualizing future success is claimed to be an effective motivator. However, numerous studies show that positive fantasies actually lower the chances that those fantasies will become reality.

Why?

Research done by Kappes and Oettingen (2011) found that positive fantasies are de-motivating, making energy seem unnecessary. Instead of lighting a fire under your ass, visualizing a desired future generates the relaxed state that typically accompanies actual achievement.

These studies were done in various contexts. One study had participants fantasize about winning an essay contest. Those asked to fantasize positively reported feeling less energized than those asked to fantasize more negatively about the likelihood of success. Another study demonstrated that those who positively fantasized about the coming week achieved fewer goals due to decreased motivation. However, the most shocking study found that positive fantasies decreased motivation even when basic survival needs, such as quenching thirst, were the objective.

Want to write an article for the New York Times? Don’t visualize yourself reading the published post.

Want to start a business? Don’t envision yourself running the business of your dreams.

Want to lose weight? Don’t fantasize about what you’ll look like when you’ve shed the desired weight.

It seems that getting a glimpse of the future reduces our drive to achieve it. Instead of promoting achievement, positive fantasies diminish your compulsion toward action.

Fantasies also fail to help us see the problems we’re likely to face on the way to our goals.

Expectations and Fantasies

It’s important to distinguish between two different forms of thinking about the future: expectations versus fantasies. Expectations are grounded on past experiences, whereas fantasies are often established on thin air.

Although these may seem similar, they produce highly different results. Studies done by Oettingen and Mayer (2002) examined how people cope with four different challenges: getting a job, finding a romantic relationship, performing well on an exam, and recovering from surgery. The researchers measured how people thought about these challenges and how much they fantasized about a positive outcome compared to how much they expected a positive outcome.

Those who spent more time entertaining positive fantasies did worse in every situation:

Getting a Job

• Lower number of job offers
• Lower salary

Finding a Romantic Relationship

• Lower probability of beginning an intimate relationship
• Lower confessions of love

Academic Success

• Lower course grades
• Lower study effort

Recovery from Surgery

• Less hip joint motion
• Lower capability of walking on stairs
• Worse general recovery with regard to pain, muscular strength, functional status of the hip, and the patient’s well-being

In contrast, positive expectations were associated with success in each situation. This happens because positive fantasies make us feel like we’ve already reached our goal, thus undermining our attempts to achieve those goals in reality. On the other hand, expecting a positive outcome produces increased effort and helps us better anticipate obstacles.

Ok so no more positive fantasizing. Just positive expectations from here on out. So what’s a better way of committing to a goal?

Mental Contrasting

Begin with a fantasy. Then think about the negative aspects of reality. With both in mind, carefully compare your fantasy with reality. Pairing fantasies with reality leverages our mind’s natural discomfort with simultaneously holding incompatible thoughts and actions, a phenomenon called cognitive dissonance.

We hate having inconsistencies in our minds and will perform impressive mental acrobatics to avoid them. Pointing out the differences between our fantasies and reality forces us to determine whether a goal is truly achievable or not. This technique is highly effective for encouraging people to commit, making plans of action, and taking responsibility, but only when expectations of success are high.

We have a natural tendency to avoid making decisions. Instead we prefer to fantasize, keeping our chance of failure at zero. Mental contrasting pushes us to choose whether we really want to pursue a specific goal. If we expect to succeed, it produces commitment, making us act now with increased energy and focus. If we feel like a goal is unachievable, we will most likely abandon it and move onto something else.

This exercise seems simple enough, but mental contrasting is actually quite difficult to carry out successfully. Our natural reaction is to avoid the uncomfortable cognitive dissonance that occurs when comparing fantasy to reality. The depressing realization of what needs to be done becomes evident. It may mean quite a bit of work on our behalf. It may mean accepting that our goal is unattainable.

Mental contrasting is much easier when you are surrounded by a community that makes avoidance impossible. A group of people that makes you want to take a closer look at your ambitions and holds you accountable once you’ve committed to a goal.

Attempting to fight human nature is a fruitless battle. Instead, rely on an environment conducive to continual personal growth that aids you in accomplishing your goals. We often tend to believe we can do everything alone. Never underestimate the power of surrounding yourself with the right people.