I’m Back and WTF is Wrong With ME?
My tolerance to pain is related to the tolerance of comfort.
My Dad continues to go through a roller coaster of here, gone, here, gone and so on. This morning he woke the chatty-est he’s ever been. This morning he’s talking deep on trying to understand the worth and effort of enduring the pain he’s experiencing via the bone infection, and other aspects impacting him.
Again since I hear and see and think in related patterns, I thought of Dad’s realization this morning a bit like the “Who’s Laughing Now” scene from Evil Dead 2.
Ash’s hand is possessed by a demon and it attacks him, and he does the impossible and cuts it off. My father’s realization today, a bit like this, WTF is wrong with me, I want to attack this thing, beat this thing. This is great because he’s not just returned, but back with a vengence against what’s impacting him. This is worlds away from watching him die days I experienced a few days ago.
I have to take it day by day though, today, he’s very much back. His vitals are strong, his heart is good, lungs are great and he’s here. Tomorrow though is another day and the patterns from the past tell me, each day is another step toward another day.
Its not to say i’m not hopeful, I’m suspicious and wildly aware that the body is a dynamic thing, the heart and mind are connected and I can’t predict the future so today is what we’ll celebrate because its right here in front of us.