Mistakes are like the needed cold shades
I believe that my most positive trait is being fascinated by almost everything, the way how I am able to see this world around me. It’s like I look under the world’s skin following its circulation see it as a whole. Where the days are unstoppable and move day by day, like our quick human heartbeats.
I find deeply interesting how our mind works, how people are uniquely different and universally same in the core, how nations and cultures have been built up, how they can cooperate in respect of the differences.
Finding everything astonishing made me enthusiastic about numerous topics, hobbies, and activities which came to picture in the past years. Quite ironic that even though I was, and still am a very enthusiastic person, my biggest drawback was always the fear of making mistakes, fear of not being enough or eligible. Which has resulted that I am not practicing painting, writing or tennis either. I stopped doing several potential projects I was passionate about in the first place. My previous experiences showed me that I start doing something with devotion and I usually fail in the long run. But why is that?
I realised that my biggest enemy is my perfectionism and my honest desire of being flawless, which I know is barely possible. I am a human and I love being one. So I decided to change my mindset and come through all of these obstacles. Starting it today, writing these lines down with some lurking fear of making mistakes. I want to be friends with my mistakes because I know they are needed. I want to love them, because they belong to me, representing a little part of who I am. I want to make mistakes and embrace them, work with them, because otherwise I will probably just chase my unfulfilling illusions.
It’s like when you are painting and looking for the desired colour, sometimes you just need to add some cold shade to the warm ones.