An Engineering Failure: Beating The Impostor Syndrome

By: Florencia Rios Nicolas

Towards the end of 2017 I had the opportunity to represent the Ryerson University Engineering Community at the 2017 Conference on Diversity in Engineering at McMaster University. I did not have many expectations going into this conference, probably being it was the first conference I had ever attended, but I can now say this was a an incredible learning experience I was so fortunate to attend.

I had the opportunity to listen to keynote speakers and sit in on sessions conducted by brilliant engineers, professionals, professors and students.

Out of all of the seminars across the entire weekend I picked up on a recurring theme expressed by many students, graduates and professionals as they recalled their early careers and that is the concept of the “Impostor Syndrome”. I felt it was something so commonplace yet so untouched by the engineering community; and because of that I decided to write about it and hopefully shed some light on it while motivating everyone to look at their own accomplishments with pride.

So, what is the impostor syndrome? Essentially it is a term used to describe the sense of feeling like an impostor in what we do. It is a combination of feeling pressure to know everything in your field and feeling like your skills are insufficient. I notice this around me every day in my program and I notice it more now after attending this conference.

As a woman in engineering I know this is a very common narrative for myself and all of my female classmates. For us, feeling like an imposter is the norm!

“Did I only get accepted into this program because I’m a girl? Did I only receive this scholarship because I am a female?”

We look down upon our accomplishments and pass it off as a fluke or chance, rather than seeing the merit in those accomplishments! Many other female students at the conference sessions felt a sense of frustration when discussing how they felt incapable of doing “real” engineering because of roadblocks in their way. The one thing that should be noted is that these barriers are for the most part internal narratives.

This past semester I made an attempt to find confidence in my technical engineering skills. I had spent a whole year getting involved in student politics, perfecting my public speaking and presentation skills, report writing and networking skills. This year I tried harder to dedicate myself to learning software and even getting more involved with design team projects. I felt like an imposter being in engineering and doing minimal amounts of actual design work.

Although my previous example speaks for the girls in engineering mostly, this does not mean that anyone can’t feel this. “Thank goodness for the bell curve, I probably failed that course without it”; a phrase I hear too often from students in my program. During our time completing our undergrad we base our successes off our numerical performance in classes rather than through the amount of useful skills we learn. We face professors telling us these complicated formulas are just trivial. Then as we begin searching for internships or real jobs we wonder,

“Can I even put this on my resume? Did I graduate with enough real engineering skills?”

We see job applications with a list of criteria and see 3 out of 10 things we do not meet and we don’t apply, when really we still should! We have those seven other skills they want, but we cannot see past our own shortcomings; thus, we feel like an impostor.

So how do we overcome the impostor syndrome? One strategy brought up by a speaker was to keep a HERO File. She said keeping any prizes, distinctions, certificates, or letters received as mementos can be a useful visual way of keeping track of large accomplishments. Another speaker, a recent university graduate and soon to be Google employee, suggested to keep daily notes of small accomplishments. Writing down three small goals that were reached each day can highlight productivity and boost performance.

Overall, just have a growth mentality! It is important to think positively. You are not an imposter; you worked to get to where you are in engineering and your differences do not make you any less capable than any other engineer. Turn “I don’t know how I am going to do this,” into “I’m not very familiar with this, but it’s okay, I can learn this!”

I’d like to conclude with a personal message from a former teacher and inspiration of mine. Upon my high school graduation they wrote to me,

“Be yourself, because who you are is more than enough and more than capable.”

I decided to put this in my own HERO File, currently a small bulletin board above my desk at home, and I encourage you all to do the same.