thank you for sharing your thoughts Nadja.
coincidentally or not, i just talked about that topic of an inner voice two weeks ago during our weekly meeting with my professional team. less gender, more collaboration wise. inspired by naomi aldort’s book, my wife recommended for thinking of our parenting next level, because i was stuck with my damned inner voices while talking to my two kids (7 and 4 years old). http://www.naomialdort.com/book.html
naomi recommends to first listen to your inner voice telling you all the parenting sentences from your parent’s and grandparent’s and even epigenetic and all the possible sources you mentioned above. take that voice, actually say what you want to say, but in a third person speech: “my voice just tells me to…”
i tried immediately with my wife and this deliberates like crazy! because you can say what your voice says (“we don’t climb on the table while eating…”) but with the third person trick you have the room for your own voice (“isn’t it cool to sit on the table while eating and interacting from within the circle with all the family members?”) — to hear, to anticiapte, to get out of the “WE don’t” to “I want”.
for me that was mind blowing and it’s also a perfect “tool” for my wife and me to follow the thoughts coming from that first reaction voice — for a common understanding and creating our own parenting.
packed with this experience i assumed that this “trick” could help us in daily work. if this “NO BUT…” voice comes or impatience strickes…just say what your voice says but in third person talk.
all said, all set: first chance to actually do it with one of my team mates.
i failed ;) hard.
impatience stroke, no chance to think out of myself as the third person, just in the “rage” of impatience…perfect, flo.
well my team mate and i discussed the fail during the day, laughed and went on, to get ready for the next iteration…
happy trying!