This is a real email, to a third-party recruiter. The interview format for the client company is a webcam recording of an applicant, who is asked to respond to pre-recorded questions. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Some form of zen-like patience is practiced every day in the mind of every programmer, and I would like to assert that is what seems to separate software engineers from society-at-large. I’m not certain I’m correct, but it is as accurate a description as I can come up with…

A Somnambulists’ Soliloquy

When the rivers dry up and the ocean rolls in,
We won’t give a damn ‘bout TV again.
Won’t care about scrapbooks or shiny new rims,
When the Earth rises up to claim us again,
When the mountains turn to fire…

Lyrics to a maritime waltz.

A tree leans to weep in the sea
Darkling waves chewing roots
An anesthetic waking dream
Numb to the tips of leaves

I am willing to sacrifice some human relationships to oppose Donald Trump. I am also willing to sacrifice relationships to support Bernie Sanders. I am shocked and dismayed to learn there are people who feel, just as strongly, the opposite. I will make a case that…