
The Adventure of Happiness
Spring cleaning, clearing out, starting over, hitting the reset button. What ever label you want to place on scrubbing bad habits from the past. A new you, a better version of you. Losing the love handles, or the double-chin, or losing the battle all together. Sinking your teeth into a late night cream filled doughnut, or whisking back the last chunk of chocolate. Or if you like: finishing the bottle rather than just a glass of wine.
We all have weaknesses, we all have addictions, and those who say they don’t are propably not going to read this anyway. So to the addicts out there I write to you. Because my uninspired self might make you laugh at yourself long enough to see a new course of action. Or not!!! We have all stared down the barrel of commitment and discipline. Do I really have to go there? I mean really… The word discipline makes me a little squeamish. Not to mention how bad I hate rules. Rules suck, they always have and always will. Rules remind me of religion. And I am not a fan.
So how do we rewrite the narrative so we can make good decisions again. The ones that give you good health, supposedly!!! The running shoes staring at you from the bedroom floor. Strapping on those two-hundred dollar mistakes is what I told myself weeks ago, that I would actually use them. And two weeks later the shiny newness is offensive. Or is reality reminding me the soles have only hit the pavement once.
Or the guilt: convincing yourself one more helping of rocky road ice cream was deserved, because of the way your co-worker spoke to you. Then add insult to injury your bank statement reveals a very healthy addiction to your favorite cup of coffee every morning at 9 o’clock. And the latest news report reveals for the umpteenth time how bad coffee is for your adrenals. A quick mental check reminds you this time last year coffee was touted as the new wonder drug. When will the fucking experts get it right?
And smoking: the dirtiest and dumbest habit of them all. Right!!! This has become the problem child or poster child of socially unaccepted addictions. In other words if you are going to light up a fag, do it in a fucking bat cave. Were no one can see you or smell you. What a beating this addiction has taken. My days of smoking are peacefully over for now. It used to be my place of creativity: a smoke, my laptop and usually a wine. I convinced myself they were my muse. So I remind myself if I live long enough. I just might light up another fag one day, while sitting in my rocking chair with only a few marbles rolling around my head.
To the addicts who cannot clock out at 5: you are no better. Just because your addiction is work and making money your top priority and society pats you on the back, doesn’t make you an elitist asshole. To the junkies versus the triathletes and workaholics and shopaholics and internetaholics be kind to each other. Because we are bat shit crazy. All of us… Our species just might be the craziest species of all. We go from happy to guilty and sad to happy then depressed even suicidal. And then feel bad about feeling all these emotions because we were told not to feel bad.
In the span of a few years we have seen a multitude of famous, financially successful, loved musicians, actors and philanthropists commit suicide. From the lowly perspective of a nobody and a pay check to pay check kind of society this makes about as much sense as Donald Trump being President. Who the fuck tops themselves when you have money to burn. For those that lost a wounded and hurting brother or sister or son, daughter or father or mother, uncle and aunty; my heart goes out to you… and may your loved ones rest in peace.
As a socioligist I query the why’s and the how’s and the what’s and then another why… Because we are curious, we want to know why!!! And I think asking more questions is a good thing. Understanding our species is centuries old and many of my heroes have done a pretty damn good job of uncovering a few mysteries.
As to motivation and finding happiness with the word (sorry) discipline. It is as individual as our paths diverge, but I think the road to happiness is quite similar. When we stick to something, anything… Exercise, healthy food, good sex, learning, reading, a degree, financial freedom, relationships, a planned vacation, a garden, finishing your promised book, raising a child who loves, loving yourself because your worth it. And knowing it is not happiness in receiving stuff but happiness in the enjoyment of the journey.
I contemplated suicide over 7 years ago. I almost jumped from the George Washington Bridge in New York City. A few months later I ran into my ex-therapist and shared the near missed plunge. His words: “Remember there are people you have not met yet who will love you for you.” I will never forget his words. They have been etched into my psyche.
The pursuit of happiness often gets lost in the illusion: once we receive something we will be happy. A relationship, new car, new home, outfit, job, new friends, a new move, a low number on the scale. The reality: happiness is found within and the job of discovery is a daily adventure. And when you think you have done your best, wake up the next day and reinvent yourself again. I have found there is no prescription, it is as individual as you.
If you drink coffee; quit, if you haven’t had a cup in years, may I suggest wrapping your lips around a latte once and a while. When you feel the urge to change a habit or an addiction: do it!!! It feels good. You will feel empowered, its this energy of empowerment that leads to happiness. I’m not sure why? Other than when we achieve we believe and believing in ourselves and each other can heal the World one human at a time. And our happiness adventure is infectious, and this is a good thing, maybe the best of things…
I spend a lot of time querying about the human species and why we do what we do. I am still lost, but am enjoying the process. If you like what you have read please click on the little green heart and others will be able to share this article…
