Desinta Berliana
Nov 8 · 3 min read

How hard is it to be women in Indonesia.

Being a woman really got me thinking about how much I wish I could just relax more and stop fretting over how much I have to do, because thinking about it only makes me more stressed. No, I’m proud to be a woman, but the society is ruining everything.

The pressure starts when you’re just a small little girl, the pressure will get more when you grow older.

Everyone asked us to be what they want.

A good girl, who sits pretty, who doesn’t talk loud, who looks good, not like a boy, just like a girl, a girl.

Parents wouldn’t let you come home late or neighbors will badmouth about you and your family tomorrow, people just aren’t used to that. Labelling, they’ll call you a slut if you come home late.

People asked you not to be wearing revealing clothes, because they still believe woman more likely to be sexual assaulted if wearing such things. Men couldn’t admit it, that they just couldn’t control their penis and lust.

When you’re in age 25 or older, they’ll ask you how and who is your boyfriend, when will you get married, why don’t you get married soon and other disturbing questions.

It’s not everyone’s business, we get married because we want it, we get married not to shut you up.

And when you already married they’ll ask you other disturbing questions, what’s your husband job, does your husband give you enough money, when will you have children and other questions that’s more disturbing.

It hasn’t ended dear, when you already have children they will ask you much much more disturbing questions, normal or caesarean, breastfeeding or not, how would you rise them, how would their education be and unexpected questions that ruin our night.

And when you have a career, they’ll ask you to leave because they think woman should be home to do the chores, putting their child to sleep and saying welcome home with a wide smile no matter how tired we are.

Being a woman is hard, being a wife is harder, but being a mom is the hardest.

Being a woman is also privilege but many things make me feel so sad, we swallow catcalling, shaming, stares, pitiful sentences, we swallow it all alone.

When we try to speak it up, there are so many questions make us go crazy.

“What were you wearing?”

“Where were you?”

“Were you alone in a pub?”

And even more disturbing.

We’re controlled, they keep telling what we can and can’t do, what we should and shouldn’t do, our life is being controlled.

Tell me, how fun is it to be men sitting in a pub with 2 shots of espresso while making a mockery of our body, compare each body, saying shit how our dress and make up lastnight, which one is good to have sex with, or even some of you are showing off that you’ve ever had sex with a beautiful girl in town.

And then when we walk in front of you, you catcall, you grab our boobs, you ask us impolitely to go on a date with you all of sudden or even you call us ugly ass bitch or a walking giant.

We’re tired of asking equality and equity. We’re tired for being looked down. If we can do what men can do, they don’t give us the same amount of respect.

That’s the sex culture, woman is lower.

It’s been years we’re be against this, I don’t know how many more years do we need.

We want the same opportunities like men, we want to be measured on the same scale and to have equal rights and equal treatment to be acknowledged as being just as competent, just as intelligent, just as worthy, just as respected and capable, we don’t want to be harassed, if we say no it means no, leave us alone.

We must all work together towards this goal for benefits of everybody.

    Desinta Berliana

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