Testimony - How to Be an Honest Person in the Face of Interests

Tuzi M
Tuzi M
Jul 12 · 11 min read

By Xiaomo

The Lord Jesus said, “Truly I say to you, Except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). It is extremely important for the believers in God to be an honest person. However, in real life, how should we practice God’s words and be an honest person when we are faced with losing out on our interests?

I’m a seller engaged in export trade. One day, my manager said to me, “Xiaomo, a Philippine client has made an inquiry. I’ll send her email to you. You have a look.” I thought it was hard to do business now and it wasn’t easy for a client to make an inquiry, so I should treat it carefully and strive to win the order. After several days of my communication with and introduction to her, the client placed a 27,000 RMB trial order. Then she asked me the unit price of another product. In order to gain this order successfully, I sent a sample of our company to her so that she could see the object which matched the given unit price. As a result, she was satisfied with the quality of the sample that I sent her, and she confirmed the sample and placed another order quickly. After receiving a deposit from her, I advised our factory to mass produce goods so it could be delivered to them as soon as possible.

I thought everything would go smoothly, but unexpectedly, it took an awkward turn. The factory gave me a call, “Xiaomo, we find the sample which we sent you last time is two grams lighter than the goods required in the order. The weight of the goods the client required is above standard, and none of the machines in our factory can be used to package the goods at present.” Hearing the news, I felt as if scorched and burned by fire and didn’t know what to do. I thought, “The client has paid an advanced payment. If I tell her the weight of the produced goods is different from that of the goods as required in the order and that we can’t package the goods she ordered, will she cancel the order? If so, not only is what I’ve done before in vain, but also I’ll waste the sample fee of 800 RMB that I paid the factory out of my own pocket. No, I’d better not tell her. As long as I write into the contract that the batch production is subject to the sample confirmed by the client when we draft the contract, everything will be OK. Even though she discovers the truth after receiving the goods, it will be too late. In this way, I won’t waste the sample fee, and I could sign a big contract. It’s the best of both worlds!

After that, I sent the contract to the client whilst considering myself fortunate, hoping she could neglect the weight. What I didn’t expect was that she specially marked the weight in the contract and asked me to reply to her and confirm it. Seeing that, I was stunned: Now I can’t pull the wool over her eyes, what should I do? Seeing my lies were going to be exposed, I was unwilling and then I had an idea of ignoring her email. If she doesn’t receive my reply in two days, she’ll give me a call and then I’ll say to her the goods are by the sample that she confirmed. In this way, I can wisely avoid verifying the email. Thinking this, I realized that I’m a Christian and that lying to and cheating others didn’t conform to God’s intention. However, I thought it had been done, and if I didn’t do that, my interests would be infringed upon. Therefore, I thought, “I just do it this time, and I won’t do this anymore after performing this contract.” Over those couple of days, I deliberately shifted off this thing when I prayed. In addition, I was afraid of being questioned again by the client during my work time. Hence, I was tortured by the anxiety of my conscience and my own mental accusation.

On the third day, the client called me and asked whether I received the contract. I lied in a hurry, “I have not seen the email yet, and now I will confirm it in words: The quality of the products is subject to the sample that you’ve confirmed.” At that time, I was nervous and agitated within, like I had butterflies in my stomach. I was afraid that the client would mention the weight. Finally, the contract scraped through by a narrow margin. In order to avoid the diversions, I quickly urged the factory to speed up the production so the goods could be delivered as soon as possible.

It was unexpected that when our factory was halfway through the batch production, the client suddenly sent an email saying, “I find that the sample that you sent me is 2 grams lighter than the standard one as required by the order, so I wonder whether your factory has produced them by the order? Please check it and I’m hoping for a reply.” My entire being became dejected as soon as I saw the email. I thought, “What I did has been found out by the client. However, half the goods have been finished, and all the material, on whose packages are printed the logo of the client, have been finished. If she cancels the order at that moment, not only will I lose the sample fee of 800 RMB, but I also need to recompense the factory for the loss of the packaging material worth more than 8,000 RMB. It’ll be a huge loss. I was anxious, like a cat on a hot tin roof, and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t stop struggling in my heart and thought, “Maybe I can continue hiding the truth and dispel her doubts. After she receives the goods and discovers the truth, we’ll have received the payments. If she isn’t satisfied, we can just pay compensation for the loss she has suffered by making her deduct the overcharge from the amount of payment for the next order. This is still better than them canceling the order, as by doing so, we will suffer less loss. But when I wanted to do so, I was not at ease in my heart and God’s words drifted into my mind, “Man always wishes to escape the grasp of My hand and elude the observation of My eyes, but I have never dodged away from his words or deeds. Instead, I purposefully allow those words and deeds to enter into My eyes, so that I may chastise man’s unrighteousness and execute judgment on his rebellion.” Under the stern judgment of God’s words, I felt ashamed. God can see deep into the heart of man. My every utterance and every action couldn’t escape the searching from God’s eyes. In fact, from the moment I received the order, God has been looking deep into my words, deeds, and thoughts. He observed whether I would practice the truth and be an honest person when I encountered issues, and whether I feared Him and shunned evil. However, I had no reverence of God. In order to protect my own interests, I was artful and cheated the client whilst thinking myself fortunate, even fabricating lies one after another. I would rather live in accusations against and anxiety of my conscience than practice to be an honest person based on God’s words. God is holy. He hates me cheating and deceiving, much less does He have the heart to see me live in deeper and deeper corruption. Therefore, God warned me by the issue of the client finding the truth to have me reflect on my actions so that I could reject evil and choose good, get back on the correct path, be practical and realistic, and be an honest person.

In the two days that followed, I desired to tell the client the truth and be an honest person according to God’s words. However, whenever I stared at the telephone on the table and wanted to dial the number, I was very jumpy. I thought, “The client has been forming a very favorable opinion of me. If she knows I deliberately hid the truth and cheated her, how will she think of me? If she really cancels the order, I not only will be embarrassed but I will also have to pay compensation for the breach of the contract. It’ll be a huge loss. However, if I’m not an honest person, I’ll disappoint God’s hope for me and be anxious in my heart.” Then I was in a great quandary, and struggling inside. In the end, I still lacked the courage to tell the client the truth. Over those couple of days, I was unable to eat or sleep well. I felt accused in spirit and fell into darkness. I felt regret that I had deceived the client at first, but I lacked the courage to bear the responsibility and result. In misery, I came before God to pray, “Oh God, I’m weak in spirit now. I know my deed of cheating the client doesn’t conform to Your intention. I want to be an honest person according to Your words. Please give me the will and courage to practice the truth. …”

After that, I saw God’s words, “Is it not really tiring being deceitful? Since it’s so tiring, why are people still willing to be deceitful instead of honest? Have you ever thought about that? This is the outcome of how satanic nature plays around with people, leaving them unable to escape this life and this disposition. They’re also willing to accept being played around with in this way; they’re willing to live in this, and are unwilling to put the way of the light into practice. You feel that for them to live like that is exhausting, that there’s no reason to act in such a way — but they feel that it is quite necessary, they think that they have a lot to lose if they don’t act in that way, that their own interests will be harmed, that they will lose a lot of face and their reputation will suffer. They feel they’ll lose so much, and they treasure these things; they treasure their pride and their motivations. This is the true face of people’s dislike of the truth. Anyway, people don’t put the truth into practice and are unwilling to be honest because they don’t like the truth. … And what should those who don’t love the truth do? There are no shortcuts in this! They themselves must pay a price, suffer, and pray and lay themselves bare before God, after which they need to gradually lay themselves bare and dissect themselves before others. This requires courage, it requires you to rebel against yourself, and it requires self-denial. If you don’t deny yourself and rebel against yourself, if you wish to put the truth into practice without enduring any suffering or paying any price, then there will be no effect.

What God’s words revealed was my circumstances. The reason that I lacked the courage to practice to be an honest person was because I didn’t let go of my own interests and face. I thought back to the time when I knew the goods produced by the factory were not eligible. In order to not lose the sample fee of 800 RMB, I racked my brains to hide the truth, avoiding the problem of the weight that the client required on purpose by tricks, deceiving her by confirming the contract orally. I attempted to bluff my way through. After this thing was exposed, when I was confronted with paying the penalty of 8,000 RMB, losing face and my reputation being damaged, I would rather be accused in the darkness than tell the truth to the client. I believed in God, but my nature was fond of money and seeking fame and gain, and I treated others and handled things according to the satanic poisons of “Without telling lies one cannot achieve great things,” “All businessmen are dishonest” and “Every man for himself, and the devil takes the hindmost.” Therefore I lived without any human likeness and my nature was extremely selfish and deceitful. Now I understood if I wanted to practice the truth and be an honest person, I should let go of my interests and face, admit my mistake initiatively and take responsibility. Only in this way could I satisfy God’s intentions.

Understanding God’s intentions, I prayed to God constantly and then plucked up the courage to dial the client’s telephone number and said frankly, “Linda, we produced the goods according to the sample that you’ve confirmed, but not according to the goods required in the order. I hid the truth, so I apologize to you for my dishonest deeds. I’m sorry. Now you can cancel the order and I will refund you all the advanced payment. In addition, I’ll take responsibility for all the loss resulting from the production.” Hearing that, the client was calm and said, “Xiaomo, I’m wondering why you lied?” At that time, I told the whole story to her without hesitation. After saying that, I felt a kind of relief I had never felt before and couldn’t help thanking God silently in my heart. Unexpectedly, when I prepared to bear all the loss, the client accepted the goods. I knew very well that it was God that made a way out for me. When I was willing to let go of my interests, give up lies and practice to be an honest person according to God’s words, I didn’t lose my interests as I had imagined, but instead I won her faith. During my experience, I knew one’s heart and soul are both in God’s hands. Whether I could win the order and get the business was dictated and arranged by God, but not decided by satanic philosophies of life.

From then on, I no longer receive orders by tricks, but I’m practical to do things and to be a real man steadfastly. When I returned to God with my true heart, I saw God’s love and affection and blessing. Afterward, this Philippine client placed orders with me again. For a period of time, I was out of office for business. This client gave my company a call and made an inquiry. My manager gave her the quotation, but she didn’t reply to my manager, and moreover she asked to talk to me. My manager wanted to communicate with her, but she said, “I will only talk to Xiaomo.” My manager joked with me, “Where did you get this much charm from? My title of manager doesn’t work on this client. She said she would only talk to you.” I gave my manager a little smile but no answer, and thought of God’s words, “None know this truth: My words are the forever unchanging truth. I am the supply of life for man and the only guide for mankind. The worth and meaning of My words are not determined by whether they are recognized or accepted by mankind, but by the substance of the words themselves. Even if not a single person on this earth can receive My words, the value of My words and their help to mankind are inestimable by any man.” I couldn’t help sighing with emotion: God’s words are indeed the truth, the way and the life. Only when we live by relying on God’s words and give up lies and cheating will our path of human life be brighter and wider. Through this experience, I felt indebted to God for my not practicing the truth, and I felt ashamed for my failure to know God’s almightiness and domination. At the same time, I understood that only by practicing God’s words can our soul be released and free, can we live out a little like a human. I have more faith to walk the right path of seeking the truth and being an honest person. Thank God, all the glory be to God!

Source from: find the shepherd

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Tuzi M

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Tuzi M

My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.( Job 42:5 )