Bolton Dare to Dream — Part Five: A Last-Minute Dash?
My first season in charge of Bolton Wanderers has almost come to a close, and if I’m honest, it’s been a bit of a mixed bag. Sure, we played some great football at times and every win felt well-earned, but we also got knocked out of the FA Cup at the quarter-final stage and lost 7–2 to Chelsea. European qualification by the cups or league is now impossible, so we’re placing our faith in one final gamble — that we apply for the Intertoto Cup and no one above us does. I don’t know how the AI are coded for this, but if we break into the top 10 I think we’ve got a good chance, and that’s not impossible. But there are only a maximum of 24 points available and we’re going to have to get most of them, starting against Aston Villa. My sole change from the quarter-final is to replace the injured Lucic with N’Gotty. New arrival Byron Bubb can sit in the reserves for now, but we’ll be keeping an eye on him.
Not a good start. Villa have two shots on target during the game and both end up in goal, though the first, from Peter Crouch, is ruled out for offside. We actually have quite a few chances during the game, but inaccurate finishing, especially from Jay Jay Okocha, lets us down. I’ve got to say, he’s really disappointed this season, and has been outshone by both Ricketts and Armstrong, but I’m not sure what more I can do.
Man United win the League Cup, beating Arsenal 2–1 in Cardiff. For our part, we’re off to Liverpool to play Everton, who we’ve beaten twice already this season. I make one change, dropping Okocha for Armstrong.
The Merseyide team will feel aggrieved to have not won there, as for once we pull a super-keeper out the bag as Jussi makes 10 saves. Still can’t score, though, so it ends 0–0.
I need to be careful here that we don’t slip too far down. We’re still only 14th, on 34 points, six clear of the relegation zone but another six shy of the magical 40-point mark that usually guarantees survival, though it’s far less clear-cut than that.
Teddy Lucic returns from injury to give a boost to the team. But the physio linger a little longer after coming up to my office to make the announcement. Spit it out!
Oh for fuck’s sake, ANOTHER ONE! And this time it’s to one of the season stars, Ginola, which will rule him out until October, well past the start of the next season. It shouldn’t force him into retirement, unlike when Gudni Bergsson broke his leg, but it leaves a sour taste in my mouth. In more positive news, Michael Ricketts has found his way back into the England setup as he’s called up for an England B game against Portugal. I also submit my official application for the Intertoto Cup, more out of desperation than genuine hope. Although something’s caught my eye…
See that? England appear to have lost a Champions League place, but gained an Intertoto Cup one! Obviously this is worrying news, as it means that barring good performances in Europe by English clubs next season, we’ll have to finish in the top three to qualify, but it has increased our chances of Intertoto Cup qualification very slightly.
With Ginola out, Gazza returns to the team for our next game against Middlesbrough.
And what a return it is. We go behind early to a fast-starting Middlesbrough side, but Gazza redresses the balance within a minute, scoring off his own shot, and proceeds to run the game until he’s subbed off in the 62nd minute. His star quality seems to have rubbed off on his replacement, Tobias Hysen, who proceeds to tear downfield, beat three players, and finish well for a brilliant first goal for Bolton, and coming just 12 minutes from the end of the game. It’s enough, though, and three vital points are ours.
Michael Ricketts is unhappy, it would seem. He wants a new contract, and of course, I’m straight on the phone to our top scorer. His wage demands actually exceed our max allowance, but I offer him all I can and hope it’s enough. In the meantime, we face Southampton at St Mary’s Stadium. I rotate a little to keep the side fresh and put Ricketts on the bench while he’s mulling over his new contract, not wanting it to affect him on the pitch. Besides, Jay Jay Okocha can do the job.
It’s an absolute demolition job. We have 26 shots, 10 on target, yet the scoreline doesn’t reflect it because of some late drama. Okocha puts us one up after 41 minutes with a sweetly struck volley, set up by Hysen, and Johnson scores from a Gascoigne corner five minutes into the second half. Brett Ormerod heads past Jussi but the goal is ruled out for offside, and we cruise to victory… but Jussi, in a very rare mistake, takes down Ormerod in the box in injury time and Rory Delap converts the penalty. It’s Southampton’s only shot on target in three attempts. Champing narrowly avoided.
Oh boy, this next one is big. We’re back at the Stadium of Light, the scene of our famous draw with Sunderland. Keen to take some revenge for our quarter-final replay defeat, I bring Youri back in for Gazza and Ricketts for Armstrong. Let’s go out there and do ourselves proud.
Oh for fuck’ sake-
Three goals for Sunderland in the first six minutes, a penalty saved, and a terrible day in goal for Jussi. What a shitshow. At least Okocha and Hysen scored. But can we at least go until the end of the season without another major collapse?
But there is hope elsewhere. Cardiff City FC have made it to the Vans Trophy Final, and in front of a packed home crowd at the Millenium Stadium, they’ll face Barnsley. Can the Bluebirds bring the trophy a few miles down the road to home?
CAN I HAVE NOTHING?!
Well, in slightly better news, Michael Ricketts appears for England B in a 2–1 defeat to Portugal. Oh wait, he won’t accept my offer of a new contract. Fuck’s sake CM, have you had enough? Listen, it’s not my fault I can’t meet his wage demands! Don’t… don’t look at the expensive contracts I’ve been giving out to signings, it’s really not worth it. Well, now my best player is unhappy, and even though his deal runs until 2006, I’m worried he might try and force a move. Let’s hope, at least for now, that he’s happy to stay at the Reebok and continue banging in the goals.
In other news, Liverpool are officially confirmed as Premier League champions with three games to go. In fact, now that I look at their season, I realise that they haven’t even lost a game yet, winning 28 and drawing seven. I’ve never seen a team go invincible on CM before, but they have as a good a chance as any.
With just three games to go in the season, I aim to end on a high, and we’ll start out by hosting a Charlton side fighting to escape relegation, as they currently sit in 18th. Stung by the Sunderland defeat, I bring in Voulgaris for Jussi, Lucic replaces N’Gotty, Southall is swapped in for Tofting, and Gazza comes in for Hysen. Hopefully, that’ll be enough to secure three morale boosting points. We could really do with that.
Fuck this stupid, stupid season. In a statistical quirk, both sides have the exact same amount of shots — 12, with seven on target — yet it is Charlton, the supposedly worse side, that come out on top thanks to Stefan Schwarz’s first-half goal. I can’t wait to go on my holidays, find some better players, and see if Neil Scally wants that DMC spot.
Hang on a second…
YES! After pursuing him for bloody ages but being held up by Dumbarton’s insistence that he’s not for sale, Neil Scally is now just one contract negotiation away from taking up a place at the Reebok!
THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PUT A RELEASE CLAUSE IN YOUR CONTRACT? Maybe it’s because the season hasn’t actually ended yet? If so, I’ll be back in the summer, but I don’t know at this point.
There’s just two more games to go this season, both at home. First up, we play West Brom, currently in fifth. Youri’s picked up a minor injury and is replaced by Tobias Hysen, but other than that I leave the side as it is.
Call this stupid season off. Both defences are on top but we can’t seem to hit the target, allowing West Brom to sneak a winner 15 minutes from time, courtesy of Lee Hughes (who did, in fairness, have a first-half goal ruled out for offside). Bring me Scally. Bring me Tonton. Bring me a new season where we can qualify for Europe.
In the FA Cup final, Sunderland hammer Man United 4–0, and in the UEFA Cup final, it’s a Milan derby, which Inter win 1–0. Our 38th and last game of the league season will be against Tottenham. Djorkaeff returns in place of Smith, and Southall is injured so is replaced by Tofting. Let’s get a win for the fans, lads, then we go on holiday and plan again for next season.
Well this is our season in microcosm isn’t it. Two early goals from Okocha and Ricketts, including a penalty, put us in the driving seat even after Jamie Redknapp pulled a goal back. Then, in the space of eight second half minutes, we fell to pieces. Johnson scored a cracking effort, but it wasn’t enough to at least get us a draw.
One team that did manage a draw was Liverpool, who thus complete the first unbeaten season in the Premier League, with 30 wins, eight draws, no losses, and 98 points. What a season. Here’s the table.
So with that, a topsy-turvy first season comes to an end. On the face of it, I feel we’ve underperformed, but there are signs of progress. Okocha’s picked up over the season, Ginola and Youri are standouts and Jermaine Johnson was a surprise boost to the midfield. If we can bring in some more talent over the summer, I reckon we have the squad to make a push for Europe. Send out the scouts, start looking for Bosmans, and someone give Anas Skalidis a call. It’s time to get some transfers in!
→ Part Six
