Bustin’ Makes Me Feel Good

Whoopsie, Monday’s wrap-up is appearing on Tuesday. So sue me. It’s all about delayed gratification, right? Like waiting through the destitute February-through-March portion of the year for football-time to begin again. Footyballs had a pretty good Football Day. Started off with coffee and donuts and Broncos vs. Bears, which, is a pretty great way to start a day. I had no idea what to expect from that game, namely what to expect from Brock Osweiler, other than that he looks like the guy from Twilight.

Footyballs thinks Twilight-guy is probably not good at football, though. Baseball yes, apparently vampires — at least Twilight vampires — like to play baseball. I know that because I watched Twilight, on a couch with a girl while drinking white zinfandel. Which I think is the only way to watch Twilight, but also, let’s stop talking about Twilight now, and never again, hopefully.

Sir Osweiler has been sitting firmly on the bench ever since being drafted, four years ago, except for like a minute or two of mop-up duty in already-over games. As such it was hard to know if he was just an eternal back-up, or if he could actually play. And a one-game sample size is a pretty small sample size, for sure. But Brockoli looked composed and in control, like he knew what he was doing out there on ‘ol Soldier Field, and against a solid Bears defense. Two td’s, no picks and no fumbles. Not bad, most definitely not bad. And overall, Broncos’ offense looked…different. Like, just different. A different driver of the vehicle, seemed to kind of change the whole vehicle. Peyton is just so Peyton, just such a dominant presence/vibe. And Sir Osweiler, nobody knows him, he’s just a guy off the bench playing quarterback for a game. Beyond that, there’s a sense of Peyton-fatigue in Denver, I think, with the constant question-cloud that’s been hovering around him all season long. The Broncos seemed relieved, in a way, to be able to just play football again.

You might remember that in last Monday’s column, Footyballs called the Bears a team to watch, and I stand by that after watching the way they played against the Broncos. Jay-Cut looks like a different quarterback, no seriously. Broncos’ pass-rush was consistently strong, but Cutler was electric-sliding in the pocket, back and forth and side-to-side. He drove the Bears downfield when it mattered for the potentially tying touchdown, but the Bronkatonics were unfooled by the draw-play on the 2-pt try, stuffing Langford for no gain. Really, in a 17–15 game, the margin goes to the x-factor represented by Osweiler; and he played well, enough so to tip the Bears to the negative side of the ledger, and that was the difference in the game. Overall, that sort of soft flatness which has defined the Bears recently, that sense of being hollow, wasn’t there on Sunday. They played with conviction, and they played well. Go Bears go.

FFF Picks: For the first time in recent memory, Footyballs was sub-.500, 1–3 with losses by Vikings, Raiders and Jets, and my sole win this week being delivered by the Colts in Atlanta. I offer no excuses, I just whiffed. Too much going on, psychologically/emotionally, for that young Vikings team to take down the Packers; maybe if it had been at Green Bay, but in front of their own fans, it’s just something they wanted too much to actually get it done. As for the Texans, I watched the way they played against the Bengals with my own eyes, and saw a good team, and yet still picked them to lose to the Jets at home. And the same with the Lions. Generally I wasn’t surprised by my whiffage, honestly. In looking at the game-schedule on Friday, I just couldn’t find that radar sense, almost everything looked pretty hazy. The dynamics of the Niffle shift dramatically in this part of the season; colder weather, the do-or-die feeling of playoffs appearing on the horizon. You have to re-calibrate your predicting sensors accordingly.

Tony Romo’s Left-Handed Pass: Did you see it? He was about to get safetied, and he left-handed the ball for a first-down to Darren McFadden. He threw it like a girl, which is what it looks like when someone throws with their non-dominant arm. No offense, girls.

Bad Job of the Day: The Eaglets, giving up 45 to the Bucs in Philly. Footyballs blames Mark Sanchez. Once you buttfumble, you can never get back.

Sad Job of the Day: The Ravens, for getting only their third win of the year, and meanwhile having both Joe Flacco and Justin Forsett suffer season-ending injuries. Sigh.

Celebration of the Week: No this isn’t from the Niffle, but c’mon, it was definitely the Celebration of the Week. “Michael Geiger’s Go-Go Gadget Joy-Arm.” Try and count how many times he windmills, it’s actually kind of difficult. Maybe he’s celebrating not just the victory, but also the proximity of Turkey Day, which of course is also a special Football Day. Sweet.