Suicidal dissociation

image by Byrdseyephotography

It’s the worst feeling in the world
I feel like chewing glass and setting myself on fire
Then maybe I will feel okay about breathing

I hate you
You’re self and so am I
I ruin the most delightful of things with a simple dazed silence
That they all know the meaning of

I didn’t ask for this 
Like I didn’t ask for the drink that she poured for me
That was never touched (for you)
And for what…

written after a fight with my then boyfriend after a concert, 2006