A Duel to Decide a Name
A triumphant tale of two brothers reclaiming their name, and the popular clothing line that resulted
We all know Liv Tyler as the daughter of Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler. But until the age of 8, even she didn’t know herself as that. Until then, she was under the impression her name was Liv Rundgren. Because at the time of her birth, her mother was dating Todd Rundgren. And so she thought herself his daughter. It wasn’t until she was 8 years old, and presumably the resemblance to Steven Tyler undeniable, that she came to know her real name and true identity. Liv Tyler.
Carter and Forrest had a similar lineage awakening, only it happened much later in life. They were in their late twenties and early thirties, respectively, when they discovered that they too were the progeny of Steven Tyler. But that was quickly disproven. However, that erroneous bit of misleading information was the first of many breadcrumbs that would eventually lead them to an even bigger revelation. They were not Vreelands.
Or more accurately, the Vreelands were not Vreelands.
See, the story dates way back. Back before famed fashionista Diana Vreeland. Long before the central California car dealership, Vreeland Auto. All the way back to the beginnings of this very nation.
The earliest of settlers set up farm in what would later become Jersey City.
But Vreelands they were not. They were the Jansens. And they planned to name their farm accordingly. They even began production on a sign that read: Jansen Farm. To be displayed prominently above the barn.
But across town, in what we can assume must have been Old Hackensack, there was another family also by the name Jansen, no relation.
“This town ain’t big enough for the both of us,” one of these Jansens undoubtedly must have said, but is of no historical record (you could question why it’s even in quotes). But the Jersey City Jansens agreed, given the close proximity, there could be only one Jansen.
Which family would be the rightful heir to the Jansen name? Would the other family have to move? And how would they decide?
They agreed to have a duel to decide the fate of the Jansen name. There was only one problem. The Jersey City Jansens were not duelers. They were a peaceful bunch. They were more thinkers and humorists. Jersey City Jansen’s wife questioned why her husband would propose a duel in the first place. But regardless, now they were scheduled for a duel. Whatever would they do?
Mrs. Jansen had another more salient reason to question her husband’s proposition. She was the one scheduled to duel (the Jansens were, and still are, progressive).
The time of the duel came near. Being as this could be her last moments on this Earth, she wanted to be remembered fondly. So, she showed up in her best Victorian Crinoline dress, the ones shaped like a giant bell (picture Little Bo Beep, but with a musket). Gun in hand. But hands clammy. Luckily, she wore gloves, or the gun would have slipped right from her palm. But the gloves aren’t a solution for being clumsy. As she took the five paces away from the other Jansen, and pivoted about-face, she bobbled the gun, and fumbled it onto the ground.
The other Jansen raised his musket and aimed the barrel right at Mrs. Jansen’s ageless face. Little did he know, and little did she know, what was hidden beneath that bulbous circus tent of a dress.
Local street urchin and noted pervert, Tommy Mercutio, a small child even for his age, had surreptitiously slid under the canopy skirt, to get a literal peek up her dress. He would become the reason for the term ‘Peeping Tom.’
But whilst he was able to successfully get beneath Jansen’s blossomed dress, getting out wouldn’t be so easy. The duel had attracted crowds and fanfare from neighboring residents. An audience had gathered. Mercutio wouldn’t be able to escape unnoticed. So, as Mrs. Jansen walked, he crawled alongside her feet, hidden beneath the domed dress. And when her musket hit the ground, he was in arm’s reach.
He loved muskets. He had held a few, but never a functioning one. And certainly never a loaded one.
His little hand reached out from under her dress. Grabbed the musket. Pointed it forward and shot.
Alas, he had no visibility, and Mrs. Jansen had just done a 180. So, he had no point of reference for what direction was forward. And instead of shooting the opposing Hackensack Jansen, he shot the town Ombudsman dead.
As you may know, an Ombudsman is responsible for representing the rights of the public and addressing maladministration by the government. Without the oversight of an Ombudsman, New Jersey would consequently descend into a cesspool of graft and corruption, the effects of which linger to this day.
The Ombudsman could have easily survived. But the Hackensack Jansen was able to get a shot off, killing Mrs. Jansen. Which would prove fateful for the Ombudsman, because she was the town Doctor (and the inspiration for the hit TV show Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman). Without a Doctor, the Ombudsman, as well as Mrs. Jansen, both fell peril to avoidable deaths.
Tommy Mercutio was taken into custody on the spot, but given his young age, didn’t face trial or jail. And since there was no juvenile detention centers at the time, they cast him out on a merchant Marine trade ship earmarked for the Cayman Islands.
On the 10-day journey, he climbed the mast to get a look down a woman’s blouse, and in so doing, accidentally tore a hole in the sail. They forced him to repair it, and in the process, he discovered a love for knitting and sewing. Years later, he would go on to start the successful clothing company, named after his new island moniker, Tommy Bahama.
Meanwhile, back in Jersey, the Hackensack Jansens had officially won the duel, and thus the remaining Jersey City Jansen was forced to leave town. But he so loved his farm, and his view of New York across the river, that he refused to leave. The Hackensack Jansens demanded his departure to make room for only one Jansen in Jersey. But the Jersey City Jansen had other ideas. Rather than evacuate entirely, he opted to just change his name.
And on that day, Vreeland was born.
Now all these years later, Carter and Forrest will go from Vreeland back to Jansen. They would have done so sooner, but desperately wanted to avoid a duel. With the Hackensack Jansens recently retreating back to their native Holland, it seems the right time to reclaim the name.
