Guys who are Assholes.

Is this a new saga where I talk about all my psychological problems and how they affect which men I’m attracted to?

Before you read the title of this post and immediately start judging me, let me elaborate. Once you hear me out, you can commence the judging, but at least then it will be based on facts.

Let me paint a picture for you:

He’s six feet tall. His hair is beautifully blond and just the right amount of messy, and he wears an Obey or Nike brand tank top, with shoes and a jacket to match. Every word out of his mouth is thoroughly soaked in a level of unearned self confidence that you can never hope to obtain. He thinks jokes about women staying in the kitchen are funny, and he does something stupid for a living, like running a YouTube channel or doing Crossfit. He oozes dicktastic sliminess in every movement he makes and every word he says.

And I am completely obsessed with him.

What terrible Freudian trauma is waiting to be unwrapped on this one?

Let’s think realistically here: if boys like this weren’t cute, I wouldn’t want to date them. If an ugly guy said to me, “I really think sexism doesn’t exist anymore” or, “If you don’t like guns it’s because you don’t understand them,” then I would immediately stop talking to him. But because these bastards keep coming in pretty packages, wrapped up nice with a pair of green eyes and an award winning smile, I keep falling into their ill-constructed, box-held-up-by-a-stick-with-bait-inside traps!

Yeah, maybe I’m shallow. And also playing into a stereotype that “nice guys” love to whine about: “Why do girls always go for guys who won’t treat them right?”

Here’s a short list of possible reasons that I am the way I am:

1. I am punishing myself. For what, I’m not sure. Maybe just for existing.
2. I seek out boys who are obviously assholes because then at least I know what I’m signing up for.
3. ???????
4. My father didn’t hug me enough as a child.

So far on this journey of self discovery, they’re all equally strong contenders.

In the end, of course I’d rather have a guy who’s nurturing, who listens to my problems and doesn’t sleep with other girls. And I see myself marrying someone with great potential, a kind attitude, and an IQ higher than 12.

For now, though…

I’ll just continue to subject myself to all the pain and suffering that comes along with getting all dreamy-eyed for insufferable boys.

I gotta go, I have a text. It says “haha and then what ;),” so it’s important.