I remember when I was dating and I was always put off by so-called “chubby chasers” or guys who would say they wanted a BBW. It made me uncomfortable.
Part of that was that I was still actively dieting in those days, and still desperately hoping I’d someday be thin. So I remember thinking, well what will this guy want with me then?
But now, in retrospect, when I think about it, it’s as problematic as the guys who state they want an “athletic” or “thin” woman. Preferences are all well and good and yes, we all have them. But the thing is that bodies are constantly in flux, and they can change for so many reasons, often beyond our control.
So I think that when I heard a guy put a body-type preference in his personal ad (I was phone dating, it was the late 90s), I was somewhere subconsciously thinking, but what happens if…
What happens if you get married and she gets pregnant and gains weight she can’t lose after?
What happens if she gets breast cancer, and you married her for her great tits?
What happens if she’s fat and a “BBW” but gets sick and loses a bunch of weight she doesn’t even want to lose?
Relationships based on physical appearances are just so much less likely to survive long term because our physical appearances change so much for so many reasons over the years.