10 Habits That Change Boys Into Men
Benjamin P. Hardy
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As collections of hybrid spiritualism, neo-self-help boilerplate and limited life experiences go, I suppose this reworking of every other motivationalist and “thought leader” ever to emerge, has a few useful items to offer. I guess.

Though it mentions nothing about the permanence and stability of extended family and community as the basis of a sane and sustainable way of life, nor any need to distinguish clearly between healthy ambition and simple restlessness, nor especially that life skill I find the most essential for young men: the capacity to recognize and guard against the potential duplicity and hypocrisy of those to whom you make yourself emotionally available.

As Jhagi alludes to, there are a lot of young women who will tell a potential mate whatever he wants to hear, shape-shift themselves (temporarily) into whatever they believe a man wants in a woman. The more perfect a match a gal seems in the very early going, the more a man needs to look not just into her own conduct with him, but for signs and indicators in her broader approach to life of what sort of person she really is. Many a young man has found himself wedded and bedded with an unrecognizable stranger in a very short time, and later across a courtroom with someone saying things about him that leave him wondering how it was he ever trusted her to begin with.

Young people who lead with their goals and dreams and ideals, who broadcast their deepest wishes and longings too brazenly to those they don’t really know well enough to trust, make themselves too easily the target of all sorts of scammers and schemers. It is wise to learn not to be hustled and taken in, to be circumspect in whom one allows to see one’s innermost self.

And the world is full of middle-aged people stuck in lives they never really wanted, because they made themselves too available for promises and visions spelled out to them by operators who had done no more than play the fortune-teller’s game, and read back to them from their own “tells” what they had most wanted to hear.

Committing fully to someone is all well and good, unless it is to someone who never had any such thing in return in mind to begin with. And that, is nowhere near as easy or obvious a thing to recognize in another, as it always seems to the young.

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