Imagine my relief: by my count, this makes two of us now, who aren’t taken in by this incalculably dangerous personality cult with plans for the human race which will reveal his gimmicky little interactive greeting-card service as the front it has always been, a clever cover for the world’s first global private-sector intelligence-gathering and extortion cartel.

Now, how do we convince the rest of humanity that their pusher has been crusading all along to be their owner?