Plumbers are losers
Michael Marinaccio

physically intensive jobs are much more intellectually and analytically challenging.

It’s worse than that, my “knowledge worker” friend. Put simply, y’all intellectuals and functionaries don’t know your ass-crack from a hole in the pipes, and people who actually work for a living know you don’t know that, and we don’t look up to you, nor admire you, nor want what you have.

What you are, to us, is dangerous.

Ignorant, arrogant urbanites who never had to do an honest day’s work in their lives, who don’t know how or why anything they rely on minute by minute actually works (or care), whose first reflex when facing the unknown is to find somebody to deal with it and pay them for it…. all this sort of human flotsam amounts to, is the rat-killing, highway-wandering, food-stealing helpless refugees of a future that we who work for a living aren’t all that worried about, other than what to do with the likes of you if the power goes out for more than like ten minutes or you can’t get a wifi signal for more like three minutes.

Yours is a life of bottomless ignorance, and a dark terror of so many unknowns you know for certain you have no idea how to face, that all you can think of to do is make your gimmicks smarter than you are, and give your governments more rights than any one of you even knows how to live with, to protect you mostly from your own unfathomable empty-headedness. And from the mobs of those just like you, who you already know would slaughter you for a potato, if you had one and they didn’t.

It is not the ones who work, who will need to adapt. It is you, and soon. Because we might be able to save some of your sorry asses and give you a meal or two until you figure out which end of a hammer to hold, but not all of you. And the rest of you, the dead weight of a false prosperity that only you are fooled by, are gonna have a real problem on your hands, and not with us.

And you do know all this. You’ve as much as said so. You just still have the illusory luxury of thinking it is some intellectual challenge. Someday, it’ll be your stomach giving you the orders and not your misguided brains full of trivial nonsense.

Your stomachs won’t lie to you the way you have trained your brains to. I expect you’ll figure that out after a foodless day or two. Or die trying.

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