Losing Louis
At the beginning of the year, I sat on the edge of my nosebleed seat in Portland’s crowded Moda Center as Louis C.K. took the stage to thunderous applause.
As he performed, dressed in a suit rather than his classic t-shirt and jeans, I laughed harder than I have in my life. When I stood up for his standing ovation, I honest-to-God teared up a little bit because I couldn’t believe it — he was here! He was a real, live person, performing for me! And also for hundreds of others, yes, but also for me! The elation lasted throughout the night, long after I had driven home. I felt giddy in the way that only your favorite artists can make you feel.
In my memory, the happiness of that night is still intact, but reliving it today feels distinctly wrong. Yesterday, The New York Times published a disturbing (and impeccably reported) story detailing allegations of sexual harassment against Louis. First and foremost, I felt horror and sadness for the women who had been hurt and kept quiet for so long. But lingering below the surface, I felt stinging betrayal, upset that a man I’d pegged as a Good Guy had done repulsive things.
As the entertainment industry is turned upside down by dozens of women coming forward with allegations of sexual harassment and assault against powerful men, the news of Louis’s misconduct feels different. Perhaps it is because I didn’t know who Harvey…
