Becoming your friends’ boss?
Avoid making these five mistakes!
Workplace relationships sometimes turn out to be the best out of the relationships we foster elsewhere. Workplace friends are the ones we see the most, spend the most time with and experience the most successes with!
Some say having friends at work can lead to greater job satisfaction, performance and even productivity (Harvard Business Review, September 24, 2020). In fact, workplace relationships are so crucial that in one survey, ten percent of the pool said that they left their job because a friend did (Forbes, December 16, 2020).
Still, even with all the advantages of fostering good relationships at work, workplace relationships can prove to be the most challenging. Take for instance circumstances where one person within a group of friends is promoted, and becomes the boss of her once parallel colleagues.
What happens when the shift happens
One survey of four hundred participants revealed that more than ninety percent of first time managers found it difficult to maneuver the boundaries between being a boss and a friend. Worse, more than seventy percent reported that they lost friends when they became managers. (Harvard Business Review, September 24, 2020).
When one person suddenly becomes the leader of the pack, necessarily dynamics must change. The leader is forced to apportion tasks and duties, assess the quality of work done, challenge team members to do better, and of course, make tough decisions. Needless to say, this can cause friction and prove very awkward for both the team lead and the team members.
What not to do when you become the boss
If not handled properly and with maturity, the aftermath can be catastrophic. Team members can become rebellious, unproductive or disrespectful, whilst bosses can act unprofessionally in seeking to demand respect. To avoid these responses, avoid making these five mistakes!
- Do not avoid the conversation about the ‘power shift’. You must address the fact that you’re now the team lead head on! Do not assume that it will be too awkward to do this, and that your friends will understand and respect your authority naturally. Address the elephant in the room! Let the team know that you’re now in a new position, more is expected of you from upper management, that you expect respect and the best outputs from the team, and that in return you will as well be fair and respectful. If this remains unsaid, you’ll be forced to assert your authority when conflicts arise, and by then, the message may not go over as smoothly.
- Do not expect to be liked. As the new leader, do not expect to always be popular or embraced by the team. You can be certain that the time will come when you have to make a tough decision. At that point, your “friends” may not be welcoming or accepting of whatever position you take, and they may show it. Do not be alarmed. This comes with the territory.
- Do not over-exert your authority. There’s no need to lead with an iron fist. You can adopt a warm, relaxed demeanor and still earn the respect of your team members.
- Do not gossip. Your team members are not your friends anymore. You can’t vent to them, and you can’t be the person they vent to about other persons. You should find persons outside the team to share sensitive details with, and you should avoid any conversation with your team members that are not productive or professional.
- Do not show favouritism. Do not treat team members differently based on how close you were with them as friends. Be fair. Treat everyone the same. Be strict with everyone and equally, be kind to everyone.
Ultimately, the journey of becoming a new boss will shape you and refine you too! Approach it head on, do your very best, and of course, be fair!
Thanks for reading!
Please check out my book, Grieving while Christian. I’m sure you’ll learn something new. You can get it here:
