Five strategies for dealing with difficult co-workers
My mom always says, “you haven’t seen all the people in the world”. By this, she means, expect to find persons whose attitudes, attributes and traits differ from yours.
Reasons for friction in the workplace
The people we work with come from different homes, backgrounds and communities. Their values are different, and so are their outlooks on life. As a result, it’s not uncommon to bump heads with them, or to find their approaches to situations weird or unusual. To expect otherwise, would simply be unrealistic.
Types of difficulties you may encounter
We may encounter co-workers who are always late, always lazy, always gossiping, passive-aggressive, rude, or even rebellious (if you’re the boss). In fact, we might even find ourselves in the difficult position of becoming the boss of our friends. This particular circumstance invites very unique challenges that must be addressed delicately if productivity is to be maintained in the workplace. To see how you can do this, check out, ‘Becoming your friends’ boss? Avoid making these five mistakes’.
How to handle difficult co-workers
Whatever the situation, when we face friction at work, it’s important that we deploy effective tactics to professionally handle the situation. Here are five strategies you can use when dealing with a difficult co-worker.
- Check yourself. It’s always easy to point the finger and identify the faults in others. However, the reality is, we too are imperfect, and oftentimes, our actions trigger or encourage reactions from those around us. This being the case, try to objectively assess the situation to uncover whether your actions could have enabled your co-worker to behave the way that they do. Are you overly friendly, have you been unclear about your boundaries, have you joined your co-worker to do harm to others, were you disrespectful or unkind to your co-worker, did you fail to give grace, did you do something that could have caused them to legitimately feel hurt, have you failed to apologise or make amends? If you’ve done something that could have caused a negative reaction, be honest with yourself about it, and find a way to correct it. It might be that both you and your co-worker are wrong. If that is so, correct the mistake on your end before expecting to see a difference in your co-worker.
- Try to understand your co-worker’s position. It helps to put yourself in your co-workers’ shoes. This helps you gain an understanding as to why they may be acting the way they are. What could be the reason for them always being late, angry, nosy, rude or lazy? Did they have a difficult upbringing, do they have domestic issues, do they have a health condition, are they trying to escape from their own issues? Often, there’s a deeper reason for people’s behaviour, and trying to understand those reasons helps us show compassion, and ascertain whether we could realistically expect change from them. Some issues are way deeper than we can imagine and when we recognise this we may realise that change is not probable in the circumstances. Then, we may be able to accept that we need to learn how to co-exist with the difficult attributes others may possess.
- Be assertive. Confront the situation head on. Often, issues arise because we are unclear about our boundaries, and because we do not want to appear mean. We want to be nice and we want to be liked. Unfortunately, this is a sure way to invite offence and disrespect. Let your team know who you are, your likes and your dislikes, and whenever lines are crossed, make that clear to them, and let them know that it should not happen again. In doing this, be firm and respectful, and if necessary, put it in writing. This way, if the issue ever reaches upper management, you have proof of a previous encounter and a respectful request for change.
- Limit your interactions with the co-worker. It’s fine if all your co-workers aren’t your friends. While having friends at work can lead to greater job satisfaction, performance and productivity (Harvard Business Review, September 24, 2020), it’s not an imperative for your success. You can still get your job done without being friends with one or a few persons at work. As such, if interactions with one or more persons always goes awry, limit and restrict them to necessary, work-related engagements. This is the best way to avoid unnecessary friction.
- Talk with your supervisor. Let’s face it! Some behaviours and attitudes are so toxic that they breach workplace policies, diminish productivity and hamper the mental health of others. Certain negative actions can be too pervasive or immense for us to handle by ourselves. When this happens, it’s important that we engage superiors and have them address the situation accordingly. It’s not snitching or vindictive. It’s wise and appropriate in extreme circumstances.
Ultimately, it’s not uncommon to face conflict in the workplace. Thirty six percent (36%) of workers say they do (Allaya Cooks-Campbell, August 1, 2023). “Difficult” people are part of the society we live in. That’s why it’s best to learn to deal with them instead of wishing them away. Hopefully, these solutions were helpful.
Thanks for reading!
Please check out my book, Grieving while Christian. I’m sure you’ll learn something new. You can get it here:
