Hand-in-Virtual-Hand: Advice from two colleagues who were able to do incredible work without ever meeting.

By Siri Betts-Sonstegard and Frances DiMare Dailey

It’s a wedding day.

A beautiful, joyful rainy Florida summer afternoon- Spanish moss floating in the trees and twinkling lights in a white tent canopy.

And the bride has her ‘first look.’

Not with the groom (that happened earlier), but with a significant collaborator and friend… who she just happened to have never seen in-person before.

Frances and Siri had known each other for over a year. During this time, they worked together on complex design research and strategy endeavors. Their work lead to two new innovative product offerings from IBM Watson Health to serve the life sciences industry. Together they had spent countless hours of deep thought and analysis, dissecting and codifying to unearth insights and new solutions. They had become an essential pair of collaborators and confidants, hand-in-virtual-hand tackling some of the weightiest topics in a complex market.

But they had done it all without ever being in the same room.

Photo Credit: Mary Elizabeth Fair

How did we do this?

If you’re like many people, gearing up for a remote work life is a little daunting (set aside the anxiety of a pandemic). It must be okay (we think) for people who don’t collaborate much, but our creative design work requires a healthy amount of collaboration. Daily in-person rituals like getting to the office in the morning, drinking from a shared coffee pot, and chatting with peers are social norms that set the stage for solving problems and collaborating with our creative peers in the hours ahead.

So, being void of this shared in-person experience, how do we still reach effective collaboration with our colleagues? Your colleagues may not be people you’d want at your wedding, but regardless, you need tools for great teamwork. How do you still feel like there is a special connection, accountability, and positive morale from different places, only united by our computer screens?

Here’s Siri’s and Frances’ advice on how to build connections effectively at the service of getting professional, collaborative, creative work accomplished from anywhere.

Tips and tricks from Frances and Siri for connecting remotely:

Turn that camera on

• At first, it feels incredibly awkward to turn your camera on and suddenly have your co-workers in your house (even if only through a screen). We get it. You’re working from home, the kitchen is in the background, the lighting is weird, and it bugs you that the photo frame behind you is slightly crooked. Your unease matters, but your connection to your colleagues matters more. Prioritize it!
• Working from home also means you might not be camera ready. Messy hair, a shirt walking a thin line towards pajamas –your vulnerability to show your true self to others only builds trust and forms bonds with your teammates.
• We find that calls where people don’t show their faces are much more easily forgettable or content gets confused and combined with other conversations.
• Showing your face on camera encourages others to do the same, start the trend! Encourage others with setting the tone, “Hello- everyone, if you can, please turn on your camera. It’s more engaging, and we can get the most out of this call.”
• Bonus: this also keeps everyone more alert in the meeting, which is also important when you’re not in the physical office space.

Bring your genuine voice

• You’re a professional. You make clear and actionable statements all the time. Your email game is always the right balance between intelligent and accessible. When it comes to building and maintaining rapport remotely, though, allow yourself moments for your casual voice to pop in. Especially in your DMs or instant messages. Allow your coworkers to hear your voice in a conversational and informal tone, thnks 4 the alley-oop in that meeting!
• Venting is often seen as unfavorable, but avoidance and keeping it in to be polite will end up wearing on you, especially in a more solitary environment. Find little moments for talking about what could be holding you back. Either on the phone or a quick rant on Slack “you don’t need to read this now but I am just typing out my thoughts…”
• Emojis and Giphys go a long way to bring in human connection. As humans, we understand images before talk or text, what an image can convey is a powerful tool for your remote collaboration tool box. 👯💁

Leave room for the casual

• We’ve found moments of off-topic conversations in meetings is not a waste. But it’s unproductive, right? Let us put it to you this way –in another life, Frances provided doula support for birthing people. Colloquially, people refer to Braxton-Hicks contractions as ‘false labor.’ “Oh that’s not real labor, that’s fake.” Sure, it’s not a traditional contraction, but doulas are trained to refer to it as ‘pre-labor.’ Some people’s bodies need to start preparing for the event of labor in their own ways. Similarly, unstructured conversations can be the much-needed prep for productivity.
• It’s necessary to build in moments for discussion about non-business things. You get to know and respect your colleagues as people. This creates a foundation that allows you to have more effective communication about complex ideas directly related to your work. It teaches you how to hear your colleagues’ intent instead of just their words.

Create a structure for informal moments

• Without a shared physical work environment, how do you quickly start a casual conversation with a teammate? It requires a little more effort to make time and check-in. We’ve found structured 15 minutes at the top of a meeting, or a quick video-call between meetings is a daily essential. We use this time to share what is going on, vent frustrations, and be a soundboard for one another’s challenges in and out of work.
• Being on a call doesn’t mean you have to talk the whole time. We sometimes work in parallel while on a video-call; no talking, just working. This allows for moments of, “Hey, what do you think of this…” And creates the feeling we are in a studio working at desks next to each other even though we are in different states.

Think outside of the Dropbox

• Finding ways to work collaboratively also requires tools. Use tools at your disposal (could be an online tool, could be drawing on paper and holding it up to the camera) to make working sessions genuinely interactive. We use Mural and Box notes at our organization but when having to work with outside partners we’ve got creative with using Google Slides as a whiteboard for Work sessions.

Rethink ‘the meeting’

• We love a tight schedule for a meeting or workshop –agendas, timers, and countdowns are our greatest allies for efficiency! But, when you’re in a mode to actually process new information and distill the insights from it, you need to leave space.
• Create a distinction between a ‘meeting’ and a ‘working session’ when you’re not co-located. Meetings have agendas and goals; work sessions have objectives and fluid work. We even switch from one to another –meeting about a project from 10–11, working session on a different project 11–12.
• The ability to switch gears is key. Leave wiggle room in your schedule for even more idea bouncing and sketching to find your groove with your collaborators.

Photo Credit: Mary Elizabeth Fair

Their eyes locked from across the wedding reception.

The first time their eyes had ever done so without traveling through a computer screen first.

The embrace and laughter that followed filled the tent, and both Siri and Frances remarked at how natural and comfortable this unusual first look was.

Meeting in person was merely a continuation of the connection that they had already purposefully crafted and cultivated, all while being remote.