I Spoke to 100 Pro-asteroid Dinosaurs and Here’s What I Learned

With the Chicxulub asteroid strike likely to happen within days I decided to talk to 100 pro-asteroid dinosaurs from around the continent. I went to the middle of the continent, the middle of the grass plain, and the back of the angiosperm fields.

Almost everyone I asked was willing to talk to me, but almost none of them wanted me to identify their species — even T-Rex was very worried about getting “targeted by those Coastal Elites if they knew I was pro-asteroid.”

I wanted to understand what pro-asteroid dinosaurs liked and didn’t like about the impending extinction, what they were nervous about and most importantly, what would convince them to not want the K-T Boundary impact. Every article I’ve read in the Jurassic Post and Cretaceous Times has been spot on with reporting of this group for over a year, but they don’t link to my blog so I had to do it myself.

Obviously, this is not a poll, and not ‘data’. But I think narratives are really important.

Here’s what I heard.

The TL;DR quote is this:

“You all can stop the asteroid if you want, but not if you keep mocking us, refusing to listen to us, and cutting us out.”

What do you like about the asteroid and impending extinction event?

“It’s so real!” Note: This sentiment came up a lot, probably in at least a third of the conversations I had.

“I’m a free range Gallimimus and over the last few years the Coastal Elites have resorted to name-calling and character assassination, instead of debate, any time their positions are questioned. This atmosphere became extremely oppressive and threatening to dinosaurs, like myself. Intelligent debate has become rare.”

“It’s a lot like the mini-extinction discussions were in the Jurassic era, actually. I think the inability to acknowledge obvious truths, and the ever-increasing scope of these restrictions makes it particularly frustrating. And personally, for whatever reason, I find inability to have more subtle discussion very frustrating — things are not white or black, but you can’t talk about greys since the politically correct answer is always extinction, extinction, extinction.”

“The asteroid is going to stop immigration.” Note: This sentiment came up a lot. The most surprising takeaway for me was how little it seemed to be driven by food concerns.

“I’m a Triceratops. I support the asteroid. The Triceratops who have stayed in Gondwana have destroyed it, and now they want to get out and cause damage here. We need to protect our borders, but now any policy like that is called racist. If the asteroid hits juuuuuust right it will make a giant crater separating Gondwana from Laurasia and we won’t have to deal with any more southerner migration.”

“I’m willing to postpone some evolutionary progress in favor of less migration.”

“I think our planet needs an asteroid to survive long term, and to me that supersedes almost every other reservation I have. My issue is with the asteroid itself — I think it’s the wrong vessel for this movement, but it’s all we’ve got so I’m behind it.”

What are you nervous about with the impending asteroid impact?

“The thing I’m most worried about is it could destroy the whole world. I think I may have underestimated that risk, because the asteroid is like a big unstoppable Tyrannosaurus Rex. Otherwise I still like it.” Note: Most dinosaurs weren’t that worried about extinction. More frequent comments were along these lines:

“I know the asteroid is immensely destructive, but I feel you need to do things to move the needle when the whole planet is watching. At least the asteroid’s track record overall gives us reason to believe things will happen very very fast.”

and

“It’s crazy, but it’s a tactic to get other dinosaurs not to mess with us.”

What do you think about the anti-asteroid dinosaurs’ response so far?

“You need to give us an opportunity to admit we may have been wrong without saying we’re bad people. I am already thinking I made a mistake, but I feel ostracized from my community.”

“Stop calling us idiots. We aren’t. Listen to us when we try to tell you why we aren’t. Oh, and stop making fun of us.”

“I’m so tired of hearing about Velociraptor privilege. I’m a Velociraptor, but way less privileged than a Stegosaurus.”

“I am tired of feeling silenced and demonized. We have mostly the same goals, and different opinions about how to get there. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe you’re wrong. But enough with calling all of us the devil for wanting to try the asteroid impact!”

“There is something hypocritical about the Coastal Elites saying they are uniters not dividers. They say they are inclusive and then exclude half the population who want to try extinction.”

What would convince you to be anti-asteroid?

“If the planet destruction thing were true, I’d turn against it. Why don’t y’all focus on that?”

“Give us a better option, and we’ll be happy.”