I’m a firm believer that your point of view creates your reality. That shows up in a lot of ways, but the most obvious is confirmation bias. If I ask you to go into a flower shop and note all the yellow flowers, your vision gets selective. You can speak with some authority on the quantity of yellow flowers, but you were unlikely to tracking the purple flowers with the same attention or accuracy. Likewise, if you have this victim mentality that women have control over you, then—congratulations—they do. What’s more, your attention will always spot the yellow flowers that align and agree with that point of view, and you will resist and react to any point of view that opposes it. In the absence of both of those options, you always have choice.
Men stay on the sinking ship because of other men, not women. A man who took a seat on the lifeboat and allowed a child to die in his place would soon wish for death when the world at large learned of his cowardice and shame. The entire culture of men is full of sub-cultures who all have their own specific rules to observe. You know this as a former police officer. Others know the rules of being a Marine. Others know it by being part of a sports team. Violate the social contract of any of those organizations and you find yourself painfully excluded.